Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Age


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Age Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Age - 12/24/2012 1:05:25 PM   
helboy2323


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/27/2012
Status: offline 		why is it i will always run into a problem of Age i have been looking for either a local domme or an online one and unable to find one because of age and i hate this. any help on this matter?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 1:12:36 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Your best bet is attending local munches and TNG groups. The number of sub men far outnumber Dominant women, so you'll honestly have a better shot in a real life environment where you can really show who you are and that you're mature enough to be worth the effort.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to helboy2323)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 1:23:21 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		Patients is a virtue, Grasshopper.

What is it exactly about age that has complicated the pursuit of a Domme partner for you?
There are several existing threads related to difficulties with age.
If you fear that you're too young, you might feel that you are being passed over due to either a lack of maturity, commitment and/or devotion, or inexperience.

Maturity = If you have to inform someone you're mature, you aren't.

Commitment = It will take time for someone to trust that your passion has staying power. That's just how it goes. Your would-be partner has to trust that this is more to you than just a flash in the pan interest. No one wants to waste their time.

Inexperience = Some people are okay with taking on someone just starting out, some are not. That's just the way it goes.

Lastly, your problem may not be so much that you're young. It might be the fact that you are one of many young male subs, and there are far less Dommes to this ratio.

_____________________________

FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
: Disclaimer :
Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
Granting of Fae-Wishes VOID where prohibitededed.
Individual results may vary.


(in reply to helboy2323)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 1:32:31 PM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		I'am 23 and look for women between 28 and 37.It turn me on to be with older woman.They know who they are and know many things that this ''wonna be''young girls don't. lol.And if they are slim with long black hair to their ass and this specific light blue eyes
I'am forever her servant.But it is so rare to find this type.

< Message edited by ServiceBoy89 -- 12/24/2012 1:46:38 PM >

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 1:47:23 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		My Kittyboi is 21, so not much older than you. I'm 41. Pretty big difference there, right? Here's what he has that you don't, at least as far as I can tell from your profile:

He has a life and a personality outside of kink and it shows on his profile. He talks about his vanilla interests and skills, such as sewing and cooking. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see how those would be useful to a dominant. He also talks about the things he enjoys in a D/s relationship that have nothing to do with kink sex; simple things like feeling safe and warm in the arms of his dominant.

Your profile contains very little information about you, and what is there makes you look very confused. You're new but you've been submissive a long time? You're a switch but you're a sub? Make up your mind! Right now, you're giving very mixed signals and that's going to work against you. If you send the same mixed signals in person, all the TNG munches in the world won't help you. So take some time to figure out who you are and what you want. Most 19-year-olds don't have the faintest clue about either of those and that is going to hinder your ability to find a partner until you have a solid grasp on what you want/need from a BDSM relationship. It's kinda hard to hit a target if you don't know what you're aiming at, ya know?

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 1:59:09 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

Patients is a virtue, Grasshopper.

So is patience.


Hellboy, life isn't a drive-thru. Vanilla relationships don't fall from trees and BDSM relationships are even harder to find. Get out and make friends first. As OsideGirl says, look into the TNG groups that are out there and just let things happen. People desperate for a relationship just come across as desperate, and that's one of the most unattractive things out there.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 2:08:43 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		<<< can't spell even with a brand new shiny Spell Checker on her ToolBar.
i have Fail'd at Epic level, no?

_____________________________

FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
: Disclaimer :
Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
Granting of Fae-Wishes VOID where prohibitededed.
Individual results may vary.


(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 2:10:08 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		You're going to get basically the exact same responses here as you did on Fetlife.

Also just like there, your profile says nothing about you and what you can offer to a dominant woman.

Great, you're looking for a dom and are a sub.

What else? Who are you? What do you offer? Skills, interests, stories, activities, etc? What are you doing with your life? Why should a woman of any age be interested in you and spend time with you?


For those of us open to younger men we have to have a reason to be interested in you as an individual. You give no info there or here about yourself to even start from. Begin with that and while it is still likely to take some time to find the right person(s), it's sure as hell going to increase your odds of doing so.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 2:24:55 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Have you specifically been told that the issue is your age?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 5:17:38 PM   
helboy2323


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/27/2012
Status: offline 		Yes i have been told i am too young and therefore unable to find a Domme at all

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 5:23:47 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

I'am 23 and look for women between 28 and 37.It turn me on to be with older woman.


That's YOUNG to me.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 5:30:57 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: helboy2323
any help on this matter?

Yes: Fuck the ages. Just go and get yourself a domme. You may meet your domme tomorrow when crossing a street.

_____________________________

"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

(in reply to helboy2323)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 5:31:51 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		OP, I think you might want to seriously consider the fact that you didn't respond to my questions and comments -that *normally* isn't some big sign or anything (my ego isn't *that* big), but it is part of a pattern you show and likely has a big amount to do with what the problem you're having is: when others on Fetlife asked you the same sorts of things you dodged on them too, then deleted your OP instead of honestly addressing our questions and suggestions.

Frankly, I think maturity is largely your issue.

I'll date and be served by males younger than me, but I also will use "you're too young for me" as a tidy way of telling a young and immature person that I find them *both* (whereas, if they were young and showed a great amount of maturity and promise I wouldn't).

You may well be getting short-hand for "you *act* too young*.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 6:02:12 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		Without really knowing you, and seeing your profile and your responses to this thread I'm going to say that your lack of life experience has directly affected your maturity level and that may be the reason women aren't interested in you. There's nothing to do about that scenario except just keep being yourself and do whatever you can to improve yourself. We all go through that phase and it's nothing to be angry or ashamed of. This too shall pass.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 7:28:53 PM   
jay1371


Posts: 29
Joined: 12/16/2012
Status: offline 		Be yourself bro...let your target audience see you for who you are and not just what you want. Hell, if your looking to serve someone, at least in my humble opinion, it's better to show what you can bring to the table then just specifically what you want. I too am trying to achieve that...and I should probably add more to my profile myself lol. But good luck bro. Imo being yourself is the most important, but that doesn't mean you can't specifically show the qualities of yourself that will get noticed right? ;) Happy Holidays

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 8:05:10 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Jay, you're showing that you have potential. You're correct in thinking more things in your profile will help. Put in non kink interests and what kind of (nonsexual) skills you have that a lady might like. For instance, are you a good cook? Do you play an instrument?
Also, you might wish to put in a different profile pic without the hoodie. Let them see your face better.

Merry Christmas. Consider that a gift from an anonymous experienced Dom to a newbie who shows promise and maturity past his age.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to jay1371)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 9:19:11 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Yeah, not to sound condescending, but you've been doing great around here Jay with seeming to really take stuff in. Awesome.



_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 9:38:22 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Aw, I liked the hoodie pic

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 12/24/2012 9:39:12 PM >

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 9:45:27 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

I'am 23 and look for women between 28 and 37.It turn me on to be with older woman.They know who they are and know many things that this ''wonna be''young girls don't. lol.And if they are slim with long black hair to their ass and this specific light blue eyes
I'am forever her servant.But it is so rare to find this type.



So, in other words, you're looking for a slim, blue eyed, long dark haired, 28 to 37 year old Fetish Delivery System? I wish you luck with that. I think when you grow up enough to accept that women are people, not fantasy objects and start looking for one who appeals to your heart and soul rather than one who just appeals to your eyes, you might have better luck.

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Age - 12/24/2012 9:48:03 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: helboy2323

Yes i have been told i am too young and therefore unable to find a Domme at all



There is a cure for being too young to find a Domme. It's called time. There's also a cure for being too old to find a Domme. It's called death. Be glad you've got the time.

(in reply to helboy2323)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Age Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094