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RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 2:06:17 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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Ask me in a couple of years, when I ask the question.

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RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 2:39:59 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: altruistic

WHO IS GENUINE OR JUST IMAGINING.

DO WE WAIT AND WAIT

OR WASTE TIME SENDING MESSAGE???????????????????????S

You should certainly wait, and then wait some more, and then, a little more after that

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Post #: 22

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 4:13:55 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: altruistic

WHO IS GENUINE OR JUST IMAGINING.

DO WE WAIT AND WAIT

OR WASTE TIME SENDING MESSAGE???????????????????????S

I choose door #3.

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Post #: 23

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 4:15:00 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

WELCOME TO COLLARME!

IF YOU DON'T SEND MESSAGES YOU WILL NEVER MEET ANYONE. IF YOU THINK THAT DOING THAT IS A WASTE OF TIME, YOU EXPECT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN ALL AT ONCE WITH NO EFFORT ON YOUR PART.

WHY DO YOU HAVE PIC OF A LOVELY 20SOMETHING GIRL TIED AND GAGGED WHEN YOU ARE A 60 YEAR OLD MAN?

I'M NOT SURE EITHER, BUT I HAVE TO BELIEVE IT WAS BETTER VIEWING THAN WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.

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Post #: 24

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 4:17:34 PM

Alltiedup57

Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2012
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I have a quesition I'm good at talking to people on the site but get reallyyyyyyyy timid n shy meeting in person.
It's embarrassing , it happened again today.
I like to meet n if we click on the second time possibly play not the first.
Anyone care to help me ...... Please n thank you lol

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Post #: 25

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 4:26:30 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Message everyone. We're all just part of your imagination so you're really just messaging yourself.

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Post #: 26

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 5:27:04 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I have a quesition I'm good at talking to people on the site but get reallyyyyyyyy timid n shy meeting in person.
It's embarrassing , it happened again today.
I like to meet n if we click on the second time possibly play not the first.
Anyone care to help me ...... Please n thank you lol

What's the question? Are you chickening out when it comes time to meet?

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Post #: 27

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 9:58:04 PM

Alltiedup57

Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2012
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I meet the person but get real quiet n as bad as I want to speak I can't !
When I do it's all wrong. I like to take things slow n have noticed a lot of Doms want to play same day you meet.
I prefer to get to know the person's likes n dislikes first.
Is there something I can do?

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Post #: 28

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 10:31:23 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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In theory, timid and shy shouldn't be a problem. Those words might describe Carol. Being the domly dom that I am a guided her into telling me the story of her life because... You know... That's what I was there for. This was just two vanilla people meeting but the principle is the same. I think your problem is the doms you're meeting. Does it state clearly but not defensively in your profile that you won't be playing on a first date?

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"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
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RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 10:44:54 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: altruistic

HOW DO WE KNOW..
WHO IS GENUINE OR JUST IMAGINING.
DO WE WAIT AND WAIT
OR WASTE TIME SENDING MESSAGE???????????????????????S

WHO IS THIS WE YOU SPEAK OF? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM!!!!!!

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Post #: 30

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 10:48:29 PM

TheBoyDownBelow

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alltiedup57

I meet the person but get real quiet n as bad as I want to speak I can't !

That is so very me too. In person I warm up very slow. It is embarrassing. Often I just say the wrong thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Being the domly dom that I am a guided her into telling me the story of her life because...

Awesome!!! Guess I should be able to reverse that as well, being just me and tell my story or ask for their one. Thanks for the suggestion.

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Post #: 31

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 11:56:31 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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~FR~

I wonder if, in 10 years when I am 60, if I should post a pic of a hot young guy as my avatar?

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RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/26/2012 11:57:08 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBoyDownBelow
Awesome!!! Guess I should be able to reverse that as well, being just me and tell my story or ask for their one. Thanks for the suggestion.

Might or might not work. If the person you are meeting wants a quick fuck or is narcissistic then it'll bore them to tears. But if, like me, they are there to meet and learn about a person then you might think of you ... Uh .... Helping out a bit as service :)

Alltiedup's problem, I suspect, is that she was meeting the first type but wanted the second type. I can't really imagine her being so reticent on a first meet with me simply because I wouldn't allow her to waste my time that way. I'd start digging which she may or may not appreciate. Carol was pretty pissed at me after that. She was angry that "I did all the talking.". In hindsight and expressed in BDSM terms she was actually angry that I non-consensually dominated her since factually she did, by far, most of the talking -- but I controlled the conversation.

As the sub you have an easy way out. All ypu need to be able to get out is "So where would you like to start?". Any personality I would recognize as "dominant" (as opposed to "top") would see that as an open invitation to take charge and do so.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 33

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 7:01:42 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

To the OP:

It is amazing that you reached the age of 60 and have to ask this question.

I have to admit, this was My thought as well. Do many sixty year old men think posting an avatar of a young chick in bondage is going to have women throwing themselves at the guys?

I'm guessing the profile was made in a hurry during a time when the smaller head was in charge of the thinking.

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Post #: 34

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 7:15:47 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

Strangely enough DarkSteven, when I politely told the OP I wasnt availble I was told I was here just to wank and that I was an idiot. Go figure eh

...and he just messaged me to say it was a shame I was so far away.

I'm guessing he types in all caps cos his crap eyesight makes it mandatory. I'm assuming he has poor eyesight as he couldn't read all those bits on my profile that mention I'm in a relationship and not looking for anyone.

I would never accuse him of being an idiot though. That would just be rude

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Post #: 35

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 7:58:27 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I meet the person but get real quiet n as bad as I want to speak I can't !

Tell them ahead of time that you are shy in person.

quote:

When I do it's all wrong. I like to take things slow n have noticed a lot of Doms want to play same day you meet.
I prefer to get to know the person's likes n dislikes first.
Is there something I can do?

I see that you have tried to address this in your profile but it still needs a lot of work. Using words like "discrete" and "I crave this n think about it 24/7, an cant stop!" give the message that you will put out on the first date. Your message is inconsistent and men may just tune in on the part they want to hear.

Unless you are a married cheater, don't use the word "discreet." I can't tell from your profile if you are still with the person from the 8 year relationship and recommend you clarify that.

I also suggest you join fetlife and look for local BDSM groups to join.

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Post #: 36

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 8:21:46 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Unless you are a married cheater, don't use the word "discreet." I can't tell from your profile if you are still with the person from the 8 year relationship and recommend you clarify that.

You have to dig for it. In the last journal entry, she states that she has to be discreet because she has a son living at home. I agree that using that word is not going to help her.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 37

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 8:22:58 AM

mnottertail

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Yeah, that should be up front, I should think.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 38

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 3:05:51 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
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OP, you talk about people being fake yet you have a STOLEN picture on your profile.
Yes, stolen unless you have the models permission to use it.

So aren't you being fake as well as a thief?

BEFORE you message someone READ their profile, don't simply look at the pretty pictures.
Saves a lot of time and trouble and keeps you from looking like a total asshat.

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Post #: 39

RE: HOW DO WE KNOW.. - 12/27/2012 4:46:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alltiedup57

I have a quesition I'm good at talking to people on the site but get reallyyyyyyyy timid n shy meeting in person.
It's embarrassing , it happened again today.
I like to meet n if we click on the second time possibly play not the first.
Anyone care to help me ...... Please n thank you lol

I'll meet with you, but only if you can control your laughter if I take my clothes off.

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Post #: 40