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NuevaVida -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/9/2013 7:20:01 AM)
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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I believe what many people are expressing though, is that they don't feel inclined to post more meaty, thought provoking threads.........because of the way their efforts are treated. If a person puts a lot of effort of any sort into writing something, only to have it shit all over (as they perceive it...) that will very likely cause them to avoid doing so again. I can't honestly say I've ever felt that way, at least not that I can remember. BUT, that is the gist of what I am reading from many. And some of that 'many' are posters whom I've enjoyed immensely. Some of whom, actually post intelligent, and thought provoking shit!
Well, I can relate to this, actually. Last week there was a thread I posted on - by AthenaSurrenders, I think - about setting someone up to fail. I wrote a pretty lengthy post in it. A couple of days later I came back to the boards and it was gone. I was very annoyed about that and felt like my time and effort were all for naught. I considered Cmailing the mods to ask why, but never did. My initial thought was OK, the last time I complained about a thread being pulled (this one) I was told I shouldn't have jump to conclusions and should give the benefit of the doubt. So I thought maybe it was pulled to clean it up because maybe it got ugly. So I waited but it never came back. Then I felt annoyed.
I know this would create more work for the mods but I'm wondering if there can be a section here which lists pulled threads and why they were pulled, so we're not coming back here looking for something we thought we posted meatiness too, and it's poofed. So yes, I see what you're saying, since one of my first reactions was to not put effort into my posts anymore if they're just going to vanish. It was an initial, emotional reaction, which has obviously quelled a bit since here I am posting to you. [;)]
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I know that my tastes are not those of everyone. I would rather read stuff I perceive as biased and offensive, but intelligently written, than a bunch of mindless fluff that is all polite and totally within every possible imagined boundary of TOS, whether it be written or creatively made up by some nanny mod.
There is a poster that made a return from the past, on this thread. I couldn't disagree more with a lot of their old posts. I dislike the persona, I dislike many of their opinions. I dislike their propensity to make wild assumptions based on their biased and offensive views and attack others for it. To say the putz does NOT give me the warm fuzzies is an understatement. BUT....... I do see value in their participation here.
#1 Many people DO enjoy what they write.
#2 For being a putz, they do appear to be reasonably intelligent.
#3 It gives ME a way to grow. I like finding things offensive because I can look at why, what there is within me that causes me to be annoyed they exist and speak, and deal with it.
#4 I am an adult and I do have the ability to avoid reading the writing of putzes.
#5 This is a free site, available even to people I happen not to like.....and that is a good thing. I don't like a lot of people. That's no reason for them to not have the same rights and freedoms I do. That's the mindset of the society I want to live in.
I share your sentiment here, other than I *do* like a lot of people. I feel the same as the above about a poster or two, and yet I enjoy reading what they have to say for those same reasons. I don't mind feeling offended by *opinions* - I've found that when I do, it means I need to examine something within myself, and I do grow from that. What *I* personally do mind is having to sift through the fuck you's and the name calling and the (what I feel) inability to have a reasonable debate/disagreement/discourse. Look at how Hill and tazzy went back and forth for pages. I found it fascinating. They both brought up good points, I disagreed AND agreed with both of them at times, and I was impressed by their tenacity to not only continuing their sparring but to do so without letting it decline too far into the lobbing of insults.
That's MY idea of being an adult. When a thread devolves to pages of mud slinging, that's when I think "This is not adult behavior" and I completely lose interest. And yes, I *have* reported threads like that in the past because I find it totally annoying to open up what I think could be an awesome and meaty topic, only to have to sift through pages and pages of "fuck you" "no fuck YOU" (or anything similar). That's the kind of shit that makes ME stop posting here.
I don't prefer everyone get along and sing kumbaya here all day - that would be horribly boring. But it's my personal preference that debates can occur in an adult-like manner, so others don't feel the need to call in the "nanny" as has been referenced here. Remember the old adage our parents used to tell us (at least mine did, anyway)? "If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one." To me, that applies to the debates here, the disagreements, and pages of posts about how pretty someone's hair is.
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It is my perception, that moderation here is biased. If a person does not share a mindset that is somewhat aligned with that of current moderation, or at the very least kisses ass with those that have that mindset, they are scrutinized more heavily than the posts that are more closely aligned with the moderators personal views. That is why I have understood, at times, the displeasure of some male dominant posters. I don't necessarily agree with it, and I certainly don't agree with the alternate some of them would have preferred, but I understand it. I also understand the mindset of the submissive women that champion them. It is nearly impossible for many, to remove a personal relationship philosophy from all interactions with others. Especially when you have people in power, who's actions only serve to emphasize it, in their point of view. We had a stellar example of that earlier in this thread.
Of course moderation is biased; it's being handled by people. And right now it appears it's only being handled by two people (at least i only see two mods posting anymore). As for me, I agree with some of the moderation and disagree with some of it. I don't consider myself an ass kisser, I just think hey we're all humans on this planet doing the best we can and to give each other a break. I would never have the time it takes to freely volunteer at moderating, so I appreciate the time that they spend, even if I disagree (and as you probably know, I heavily disagreed during the sock-puppet days).
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Long story short, if the powers that be want more meaty threads they are going to have to reassess how they deal with the posters that have the ability to create them, and post on those threads. Intelligent people do NOT enjoy having their work evaporated at the whim of a temperamental system.
Agreed.
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As for the pixel issue. I can only speak for myself. Many of the posters here are really just pixels to ME. Though they are more to others. It's simply based on what I value. What a poster offers MY brain for stimulation. Some posters can disappear and I never realize it at all. Others I would miss almost immediately. Saying that does not negate the value of any individual poster as a human being. It's just reality.
Expressing it the way you just did does not negate their value, but I do feel a broad statement of "Most of you are just pixels on a screen" kind of does. I know when I've seen you say that, it's made me think twice about ever replying to one of your posts because why bother, if it's just pixels you don't care about? I haven't been personally offended by it, but it made me consider shrugging you off as someone not to bother with. I'm glad I didn't, because I'm rather liking this discourse and maybe others might get something out of it, but I personally don't like to spend a lot of energy on someone who equates me to a dot. Now I know you have never said "NV I think you're a dot" (which would be better than a dolt, I suppose), so I don't take your "pixels" comment to heart, but in a general sense, if I see someone referencing "most of you" then I might automatically lump myself into the majority there - I mean, *I* think I'm pretty damn special but I don't expect the rest of the world to. [;)]
For what it's worth, I am appreciating this conversation, so thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic.
From one cool dot to another. [8D]
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