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TabooDominant -> Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:00:23 PM)

Hello all,

New to the site although not to online but wanted to get some feedback on how my profile reads for this site from the ladies its intended to reach.

Ideally I am hoping to get across that I am not one of those "slut on your knees" in the first message types but also that initially at least play would be online.

Grateful for feedback from anyone who has the time.



OhRose -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:08:53 PM)

Doesn't say much about who you are, and what exactly you would offer to a relationship. Go into a bit more detail, maybe list some hobbies, sexual interests, etc etc. You also say you want people who seek "real dominance", that's a subjective opinion, try explaining what your opinion of it is.



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:13:09 PM)

Thank you Rose. I guess "real" for me means more than roleplay people who can talk a good game or get very carried away with the internet D s and who can be a master that sort of thing. Perhaps does need more explaining but I don't want to offend people and open a can of worms either!!

Hobbies etc? Is that something people actually like to read? It felt a bit online dating for me.

Will definitely list some sexual interests, I guess for me though its different with every girl what really interests me.

Thank you for taking the time.



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:21:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OhRose

Doesn't say much about who you are, and what exactly you would offer to a relationship. Go into a bit more detail, maybe list some hobbies, sexual interests, etc etc. You also say you want people who seek "real dominance", that's a subjective opinion, try explaining what your opinion of it is.


I've made some revisions, if you have the time I'd appreciate your thoughts.



kalikshama -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:30:58 PM)

quote:

Hobbies etc? Is that something people actually like to read? It felt a bit online dating for me.


This IS online dating. Most women want to be approached as a woman first. Stick around and you will see thread after thread on which the majority of women tell men they'd like to see more vanilla stuff in his profile.



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 3:36:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Hobbies etc? Is that something people actually like to read? It felt a bit online dating for me.


This IS online dating. Most women want to be approached as a woman first. Stick around and you will see thread after thread on which the majority of women tell men they'd like to see more vanilla stuff in his profile.


Thanks Kalik. I have added some following Rose's advice. As I said, here to try and gauge the tone of the site, thanks for the advice!



DarkSteven -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 4:17:47 PM)

Sorry to say, I think it needs some work.

1. Pic is of you half naked. The implication is that you're all about play, despite what your profile tries to say.
2. I don't like negative statements about how you're not a "get on your knees now" jerk. I'd replace them with something about it being your first initiative to get to know someone.
3. I like the second paragraph. It tells about you in an informative, non-boastful manner.
4. The next four paragraphs say that it's all about kinky play for you. This kinda negates your first paragraph.

Finally, I don't think the word "slave" is what you want.



TheLilSquaw -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 4:25:33 PM)

I like your profile picture.
Your shirtless not nude or showing genitalia or using stolen pics.
I am not a fan of the line that says, ""hey slut get on your knees"
Beyond that I like it, it tells about what you enjoy in and out of the lifestyle.
I think BOTH are important.

It also tells what you are looking for.





TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 4:48:45 PM)

Thank you both, I have changed the 'get on your knees' line, it wasn't my attention to thing of it in a negative way. I think Steven you're right that its better to consider the positive rather than the negative.

I like my pic, I guess, I am about play although respectful play really and not immediate play. I'm not really a 'scene' sort of person so I think the balance works for what I am looking for, thanks Steven for the thoughts though, I do respect people who are confident and considerate enough to give constructive advice. I may well revise this depending on the sort of people who reply.

Thanks LilSquaw - always easier to take the advice when its largely positive, but thank you.



OsideGirl -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 5:25:26 PM)

Absolutely lost me at references to "full submission" and "real domination and submission". Especially since you're looking for online and say that you're not interested in 24/7.

Expecting "full" submission from her while in a part time relationship, is unrealistic and very one sided.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 5:29:35 PM)

Only part that stuck out for me was the whole real dominance and submission thing and then the deal with online BDSM. Now I do realize that people are very successful at doing online relationships, but when I hear the word "real"...online just doesnt come to mind. But thats just me. It could stick out for your target audience as well. Just my thoughts

Other than that, you didnt come off like one of those "I am dominant, hear me roar" douchebags. Kudos for that.



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 5:38:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Absolutely lost me at references to "full submission" and "real domination and submission". Especially since you're looking for online and say that you're not interested in 24/7.

Expecting "full" submission from her while in a part time relationship, is unrealistic and very one sided.


Thanks for taking the time. Given this has come up a couple of times I think my intention is clearly ill written so I've tried a different take!

My desire is more to differentiate from people who wish to be part of the larger IRL community. I think thats a choice and one I don't choose to make. I haven't found the UK community at large to be something I choose to engage in. I have respect for people who do, choosing a username without the title Master given the connotations associated with the word. Plus I largely subscribe to the view that if you need to call yourself that then you aren't.

I have also removed the word "full" as you're right that probably is a poor choice of words given the number of 24/7 live in people here.

Thanks again Oside, I'd welcome your thoughts on the changes if you get a chance.



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 5:40:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

Only part that stuck out for me was the whole real dominance and submission thing and then the deal with online BDSM. Now I do realize that people are very successful at doing online relationships, but when I hear the word "real"...online just doesnt come to mind. But thats just me. It could stick out for your target audience as well. Just my thoughts

Other than that, you didnt come off like one of those "I am dominant, hear me roar" douchebags. Kudos for that.


Thank you Trinity. I've made some changes based on the feedback from Oside and Steven above on that issue and I think yours has further clarified that my intention was not getting out!



JeffBC -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/27/2012 8:13:12 PM)

I generally see things the same way the other posters although I'm less certain I'm correct. What I mean by that is, as you have already noted, the discussion forums tend to have an awful lot of 24/7 folks in them. Many of us are married or hoping to be so. For us, words like "total" and "real" have a very different meaning for obvious reasons... kind of like dating isn't the same as marriage even though both are very intense experiences. But what we all think on these forums isn't the same as what people on the profile side think. There are tons of "sex slaves" and "fin slaves" and "online slaves" and whatnot over there. So our label usage and perspectives may not be applicable to the larger population.

That being said, I'd like to just toss in a few points. The issue with the word "real" is that by implication what someone else does is "not real". The issue there is that what EVERYONE is doing is very "real" to them. Words like "true" and "natural" have the same problem. That's how they become offensive. I have found it's best just to talk about what I want. The word "true" or "real" doesn't add anything in terms of usable meaning and it causes offence.

You've already noted the issue with "full"... yup... it's a perspective thing. For someone like me, "full" means "I own a slave" -- like in the non-BDSM usage of that phrase. Clearly there could be no "full" submission in an online or part-time relationship by my measures. Again, the problem is my measures (and the measures of a lot of posters here) may not be very applicable to the dating side.

Overall I like your profile. I've read several iterations of it before I had a chance to write this and I like the improvements over time. I think you're at a place where it's wise to say, 'Close enough and I'll adjust over time if I'm drawing incorrect people." If it turns out that your usage of the word "slave" is getting wrong people who then call you a "fake" you'll know to change it :)



TabooDominant -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 8:51:35 AM)

Many thanks for taking he time Jeff and appreciate your thoughts. I agree with what you say and I think I'll adopt the close enough for now and adapt it depending how it comes approach.

Thank you to all who've helped and offered their advice.



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 9:00:53 AM)

Y'know Taboo, merely by the fact you asked for advice and then accepted it graciously reflects well upon you and makes me think you'll figure it out. Welcome on board.



BambiBoi -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 12:29:41 PM)

Since Athena believes in you, I believe in you. That's how that works. After all these helpful feedback and edits, I will offer my opinion as second round notes:

Picture: I'd like to see another few photos. One suggests "this is the one photo where everything looks right" but I suspect you're a handsome chap. Exploit it. A vanilla photo as well. I say this with all the love in my heart, you may want to ask your barber if you have a "unibrow."

Audio greeting: If you're not a cockney bumpkin, I suggest it. As I said in another post, practice what you want to say so it sounds conversational and natural.

Text: Great use of grammar. That's a major turn on. I'm going to be blunt, your profile needs a lick of humility. You can't say you're looking for a slave to push and expand their limits and then back peddle with "maybe real time, mostly online." I have a great sense of smell. And you smell green. Own up to it, and just be honest. "I'm learning more about the D/s world every day, and am seeking someone to grow with online or maybe in person. I think the idea of pushing limits is taboo and sexy, but I do respect your needs. I'm not particularly hung up on protocols, but a desire to serve must be natural. I like a slave mentality in a submissive."

Right now, it's like you're pretending to be inventing this new-age, third-wave BDSM. So cutting edge and different that you don't care about "Your sub calling You MASTER." To this point, scratch paragraphs 4 and 5, and rewrite them. If I may humbly suggest, consider that you are newer and still learning rather than that you have it all figured out.



JeffBC -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 1:00:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi
I like a slave mentality in a submissive


As always, a big [LIKE] but I gotta quibble with the above.

Man, I wouldn't touch that "slave mentality" thing with a 10,000' pole unless I was prepared to define what I meant by that (and then be prepared for endless accusations that I was a fake). Every time I see something like that I hear "clueless newb" who's spent too much time in online Gor (or maybe online BDSM). And what would that sentence even mean? If the person has a "slave mentality" (whatever that is) then aren't they... deep in their very own psyche... a slave. That's kind of the "problem" I have with Carol. I can label her and our dynamic anything I want but I can't release her because (drumroll please) she has a slave mentality so she's stuck being a slave (and I'm stuck being her master).



BambiBoi -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 2:03:02 PM)

I agree, it's not perfect and drawing the distinction between slave and submissive opens more questions than it closes. But I think Taboo wants to indicate he wants less of a bratty type and more of the type that tries very hard to obey. If that's the case, just say that, right? "I don't mind a bratty girl who knows she'll be getting some funishment" or "I'm not interested in faked disobedience for faked punishment, I want a submissive that wants to obey."



JeffBC -> RE: Profile Feedback (12/28/2012 2:13:11 PM)

I agree with your point (as pretty much always). But the specific wording you recommended seemed both impossible and a bear trap of "true sub/slave" crap. I thought I'd save the OP a whole bunch of hate mail LOL.



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