RE: Comfort

RE: Comfort (Full Version)

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Baroana -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 2:27:22 PM)
Ahem, someone you don't know from Eve wants you to get naked on a webcam? Sure, go ahead You of course would be comfortable with her posting the video to Youtube, yes?

BambiBoi -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 7:37:51 PM)
Some of the best advice I've ever seen is the most applicable here: Just because there's nipple clamps involved does not mean all notions of interpersonal relationships go out the window. Never lose track of that. If you're ever having a doubt, just compare the lover to another person of similar relationship: Stranger you just met in a bar? Friend from the gym? Friend you've kissed? Relationship of a few months? A few years? Life partner? Just because someone likes getting manhandled in the bedroom and in the basement does not change the way trust, love, and respect work.

DomMeinCT -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 8:42:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Ahem, someone you don't know from Eve wants you to get naked on a webcam? Sure, go ahead You of course would be comfortable with her posting the video to Youtube, yes? Baroana is absolutely correct. Please remember that there is NO SUCH THING as a "private" webcam. The second you open that camera up to someone on the other end, every second of time you're connected can be captured (still photo or video) with $20 worth of legal, easily-accessible software. There's a reason that person invested an hour+ arguing and attempting to influence you into camming with them, and it wasn't simply because they wanted to exhibit their dominance.

littlewonder -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 8:45:35 PM)
there's an extremely simple answer to this. You're not compatible. Move on

tidbit5021 -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 10:01:22 PM)
OP-good for you for sticking to your guns. Don't do anything you are truly uncomfortable doing--at anytime whether you are in the "getting to know" someone stage or have been with someone for a long time. You should always stop and talk about a Dom's request if you are uncomfortable so that you can both understand why. I agree that having one's boundaries pushed can be exhilarating and fun but the time has to be right for you. I've let myself get pushed past my boundaries when in the early stages of chatting with folks occasionally--and always end up irked at myself. Nothing bad has come of it as it has only been messaging, not webcams, but I have to strictly remind myself not to get caught up in the anonymous nature of the Internet. I also think Steven has made a good point--I never even thought of voice-changing software. So, thanks, Steven for the tip!

littlewonder -> RE: Comfort (12/29/2012 11:01:27 PM)
wrong thread. Whoops

Epytropos -> RE: Comfort (12/30/2012 5:07:47 AM)
The only thing that matters is whether the two of you are on the same wavelength. Your willingness to obey and the level of obedience she expects should be roughly the same. Whether that means body mods on day 3 or a chaste hug 2 years down the line is irrelevant; if the two are out of sync, that's a problem (in this case a fatal problem), and if they aren't, then it isn't.

JeffBC -> RE: Comfort (12/30/2012 10:32:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi Just because someone likes getting manhandled in the bedroom and in the basement does not change the way trust, love, and respect work. Nominated for Sunny Quote of the Day Ditto for our much more control-based dynamic. Yeah... whatever... but the fundamentals remain... trust, love, respect, communication, etc.

DesFIP -> RE: Comfort (12/30/2012 11:10:06 AM)
Up the ante. Tell them you'll be at the Starbucks on the corner of Main and Elm (or wherever) tomorrow at 6:00 and will wear a red carnation. See if they show. If this person is on the other side of the world, then it doesn't matter what either of you look like since it's all online anyway. If you're close enough to meet, then do so. For 30 minutes and a cup of coffee. For what it's worth, I've never heard of anyone being raped in a Starbucks.

StrictlyADomina -> RE: Comfort (12/30/2012 6:41:34 PM)
If you don't want to web cam, don't do it. The final decision is always yours. If this person turns out to be insensitive to this what other areas that you have issue with are next? ***************** Your mileage may vary.

FollowingStars -> RE: Comfort (12/30/2012 7:30:25 PM)
FR There's a bone-deep wisdom to the theory 'start out as you mean to go on'. If you want to be fighting to be heard and respected for literally the rest of your life, then by all means bend your boundaries and give in to the insensitive posers littering the universe. Because I guaranTEE you that THEY are letting you know right now how they intend to go on. But if you want to maintain your sanity, dignity, and safety? Then hold fast to the places you feel comfortable and secure. It's your right, period. Sorry... My day to rant a wee bit.

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