Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Comfort


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Comfort Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 2:27:22 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Ahem, someone you don't know from Eve wants you to get naked on a webcam? Sure, go ahead

You of course would be comfortable with her posting the video to Youtube, yes?

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 7:37:51 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		Some of the best advice I've ever seen is the most applicable here: Just because there's nipple clamps involved does not mean all notions of interpersonal relationships go out the window. Never lose track of that. If you're ever having a doubt, just compare the lover to another person of similar relationship:

Stranger you just met in a bar? Friend from the gym? Friend you've kissed? Relationship of a few months? A few years? Life partner? Just because someone likes getting manhandled in the bedroom and in the basement does not change the way trust, love, and respect work.

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 8:42:19 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Ahem, someone you don't know from Eve wants you to get naked on a webcam? Sure, go ahead

You of course would be comfortable with her posting the video to Youtube, yes?



Baroana is absolutely correct.

Please remember that there is NO SUCH THING as a "private" webcam. The second you open that camera up to someone on the other end, every second of time you're connected can be captured (still photo or video) with $20 worth of legal, easily-accessible software.

There's a reason that person invested an hour+ arguing and attempting to influence you into camming with them, and it wasn't simply because they wanted to exhibit their dominance.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 8:45:35 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		there's an extremely simple answer to this. You're not compatible. Move on


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 10:01:22 PM   
tidbit5021


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline 		OP-good for you for sticking to your guns. Don't do anything you are truly uncomfortable doing--at anytime whether you are in the "getting to know" someone stage or have been with someone for a long time. You should always stop and talk about a Dom's request if you are uncomfortable so that you can both understand why. I agree that having one's boundaries pushed can be exhilarating and fun but the time has to be right for you.

I've let myself get pushed past my boundaries when in the early stages of chatting with folks occasionally--and always end up irked at myself. Nothing bad has come of it as it has only been messaging, not webcams, but I have to strictly remind myself not to get caught up in the anonymous nature of the Internet.

I also think Steven has made a good point--I never even thought of voice-changing software. So, thanks, Steven for the tip!

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Comfort - 12/29/2012 11:01:27 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		wrong thread. Whoops



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 12/29/2012 11:02:20 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to tidbit5021)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Comfort - 12/30/2012 5:07:47 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		The only thing that matters is whether the two of you are on the same wavelength. Your willingness to obey and the level of obedience she expects should be roughly the same. Whether that means body mods on day 3 or a chaste hug 2 years down the line is irrelevant; if the two are out of sync, that's a problem (in this case a fatal problem), and if they aren't, then it isn't.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Comfort - 12/30/2012 10:32:39 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi
Just because someone likes getting manhandled in the bedroom and in the basement does not change the way trust, love, and respect work.


Nominated for Sunny Quote of the Day


Ditto for our much more control-based dynamic. Yeah... whatever... but the fundamentals remain... trust, love, respect, communication, etc.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Comfort - 12/30/2012 11:10:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Up the ante. Tell them you'll be at the Starbucks on the corner of Main and Elm (or wherever) tomorrow at 6:00 and will wear a red carnation. See if they show.

If this person is on the other side of the world, then it doesn't matter what either of you look like since it's all online anyway. If you're close enough to meet, then do so. For 30 minutes and a cup of coffee.

For what it's worth, I've never heard of anyone being raped in a Starbucks.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Comfort - 12/30/2012 6:41:34 PM   
StrictlyADomina


Posts: 103
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline 		If you don't want to web cam, don't do it. The final decision is always yours. If this person turns out to be insensitive to this what other areas that you have issue with are next?
*****************
Your mileage may vary.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Comfort - 12/30/2012 7:30:25 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		FR

There's a bone-deep wisdom to the theory 'start out as you mean to go on'. If you want to be fighting to be heard and respected for literally the rest of your life, then by all means bend your boundaries and give in to the insensitive posers littering the universe. Because I guaranTEE you that THEY are letting you know right now how they intend to go on. But if you want to maintain your sanity, dignity, and safety? Then hold fast to the places you feel comfortable and secure. It's your right, period.

Sorry... My day to rant a wee bit.

_____________________________

Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option.

(in reply to StrictlyADomina)
Profile   Post #: 31
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Comfort Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.092