RE: Online Relationships - Support and Validation.

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RE: Online Relationships - Support and Validation. - 6/18/2006 12:50:25 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

i've only had a couple of people call me on the phone to check and see if i was alright (aka: not suicidal), but i think it only made them feel better. then again...it might have been just my perspective.

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(in reply to kyraofMists)

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RE: Online Relationships - Support and Validation. - 6/18/2006 10:42:24 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

My dom and I didn't do cyber bdsm I mean he told me things to do and stuff and i followed and the D/s was there but aftercare wasn't an issue since we didn't scene.

However someone did mention staying online as needed instead of logging out and that works.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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RE: Online Relationships - Support and Validation. - 6/18/2006 11:54:17 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I really don't think you can give aftercare online. Maintaining online contact is not the same as an arm around a person.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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RE: Online Relationships - Support and Validation. - 6/19/2006 1:44:02 AM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Please allow me a bit of a ramble here to start while I set the stage to where my response comes from.

My sub and I use 3 main forms of communication:

1) Email: mainly used to inform the other if we won't be around at a usually expected time.
2) Messenger: Often used to have brief chats with each other while one, the other or both are working on or around the computer and we like to just remind each other we are close by.
3) Voice: By far our main communication, sometimes up to 8 hours per day. We love each others company and talk about our many varied interests as we get to know each other even more. We both love politics and share many views. We discuss posts on CM (and other forums). We discuss D/s as we see 'defined' by others and how we see it for ourselves. We laff and joke about not being 'real'. We wonder about the limitations of others if they need eye-contact or a personal touch to be able to communicate with each other. And of course, we play.

We have learnt to read each other from voice. We don't need to see the eyes... we don't need to feel the hug ... we can express all of these things in our words and expressions. Aftercare can also be given in words. A reassuring tone, gentle speach and soothing words can convey equal to or even more than a simple hug. A hug in aftercare, no matter how important physical contact is to you, is really just a way to provide support to the mind. If that can be done via voice, where is the difference?

But then, Linda and I are basically weird. 15 minutes later we could be enjoying another Bush-bashing session in another political discussion and completely relaxed in each others company. And we both agree - to make such a transition is nothing to do with being online - we are both the same in r/l.

Brosco

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(in reply to meatcleaver)

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Post #: 24