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The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:13:56 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		Okay, so I'm admittedly relatively new, and I know the adage about not judging a book by its cover, but still... is it just me, or does someone's profile name have the ability to make you turn away before even reading their profile? In the bdsm community especially, is it not less a judgmental thing than a real indicator thing? For example, if someone's name was 'WomenAreBitches' (please god don't let that really be someone's name... I just improvised!), isn't it reasonable for someone who isn't into degradation or humiliation to assume things from that?

I'm probably rambling, so I'm going to hush now

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:15:11 PM   
ccc3333


Posts: 156
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		i think there is womenarebitches on this site.

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:19:25 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		Oh, I so hope you're kidding...

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:22:38 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Well... since my nick is crazyml I suppose I'm hoping that people don't take nicknames too seriously.

There is a (long and boring) reason for crazyml, which has nothing to do with my actually being crazy.

But yes, there are some nicks out there that cause me to make assumptions about the person.

There's one that suggests a desire to be beheaded, for example, that gave me pause.

The dom nicknames that begin "Sir-something-or-other" always make me want to ask them if they really are a Knight of the Realm. As for the ones that begin "Lord" or "Master" - I confess that my first assumption is that they're an asshat (that isn't to say that they all are - I'm pretty sure I've met and got on well with at least one chap who uses Master-something-or-other.)



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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:22:39 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I don't care if it's reasonable or not. There are a ton of nicknames that I would reject summarily. Sure, I might be wrong but odds are I am not.

FuckMeWithABaseballBat (made up nick) is not going to get a message from me... ever. If that's what someone wants to lead with it's a virtual certainty that we are not compatible. She might be a wonderful woman.... but not for me. When I read FollowingStars I hear happy, magical in some ways... a bit child-like even... That sounds like someone I might want to form a relationship with. We'll discuss baseball bats later.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:23:44 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		I think the wrong screen name is a huge issue on a lot of sites, not just this one. I couldn't believe some of the email addresses displayed proudly on applications when I was a clerk in a human resources office. My favorite was one applying for a management position who had an email address starting with "dumbassgoat". You can't make this stuff up.

I have been turned away by a few based on screen name alone. You have a blank slate of creativity to pick a user name. If the name you choose is rude, gross, mean, or whatever, then it says something about you. And, yes, here I worry when I see certain things in a screen name. If everything else looks good, then I will ask about the screen name and go from there, but often those assumptions are true.

Of course, if anyone understood mine more completely, they may have similar concerns....

SD


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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:24:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Well, I know that when I was single, guys that had Master or Sir in their name received an eye roll and I moved on.

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:24:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me what someone names themselves says a lot about themselves. If I see someone with a highly sexual name, it means that's pretty much all they are seeking. If they name themselves something with Master or Dom in their name it makes me feel as if they are playing a role instead of just being who they are. I like people with names they put some thought into and means something more to them than just sex. For example, mine is the name of a s song by David Bowie. I am a huge Bowie fan so it means something to me. Master's name is from a book that he likes.



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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:25:51 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		crazyml, I often feel the same way regarding the asshat remark.

JeffBC... I so loved your response that I'm still sitting here smiling as I type :)

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:27:48 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Hey hey now! I put a LOT of thought into mine. After deep deliberation I decided my name would work. I figured if I attached my province to it then it'd likely be unique so usable. How's that for some deep thought?

(kidding, I know it's easier for those of us who can afford to be out)

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:31:43 PM   
SacredDepravity


Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

FuckMeWithABaseballBat



Thanks for that image for soooooo many reasons....

And you owe me a new laptop! The spit take was enough to bathe the dog.

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:35:00 PM   
TheBoyDownBelow


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline 		Let's look at your screen name. I could mean that you love to watch the night sky and its stars. Or it could mean stalking Ben Affleck. OK, he's not a good example. ;) IMO the interpretation of one's screen name as a lot do with yourself.

Mine was meant to be the opposite of "The Girl Next Door" with a D/s twist, though I have been called Australian... LOL


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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:40:10 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		Mine was just... well, I think of stars as dreams (you know, wish upon a star kind of thing) and me? I'm just a girl chasing dreams, sooo... :)

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:44:30 PM   
TheBoyDownBelow


Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FollowingStars

Mine was just... well, I think of stars as dreams (you know, wish upon a star kind of thing) and me? I'm just a girl chasing dreams, sooo... :)


See, I got yours wrong...twice! ;) Keep on dreaming, until they come true!

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:47:08 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Don' t feel alone. A good portion of women avoid screen names that are kink-centric, sexual terms, and/or one trick ponies. Even before the profile, the screen name is the first impression. If that impression is distasteful, women won't want interaction with that person.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:49:12 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~

Screen names definitely make a first impression and not always a good one. I'm okay with most honorifics (Sir, Lady, Mr.), although some like Princess and Goddess make me roll my eyes a bit. However, I won't write to and probably won't respond to anyone with a fetish (toilet, foot, diaper, etc.), a sex act, or a cliche role (worthless, pathetic, whore, etc.) as part of his/her/xir screen name.

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Dark Muse
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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 4:52:23 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Thankfully, I've only gotten a couple of emails over the years, asking if I was into water sports.

I saw a new user on the forum the other day whose name started with shut up. Much to my surprise,
there are more than a few pages of users on the other side that also start with that.

Oh, and..Macaroon!


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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 5:00:18 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FollowingStars

Mine was just... well, I think of stars as dreams (you know, wish upon a star kind of thing) and me? I'm just a girl chasing dreams, sooo... :)

I win.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to FollowingStars)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 5:00:47 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		There was one on the other side (since deleted by the mods) that referred to rape....and in his profile he bragged about being a convicted rapist.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: The name says what? - 12/30/2012 5:01:25 PM   
FollowingStars


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		Yes, Jeff, you do!

_____________________________

Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option.

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