Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue?

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Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 7:41:37 AM

pleasetame

Posts: 75
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

This is a response to someone accusing me of being a racist because I declined an offer. I guess I want to understand why people think this way. When I went to respond to the accusing email I was blocked. So many say..."it is rude to not answer emails" but when you politely say "no thank you" you are attacked. This bothers me.
Response:
Why the response Sir, I was polite enough to say "no thank" and to reply to your post at all, maybe I should have ignored you. My looks are not an issue the fact that Im married and in a high profile career is an issues and my husband does not want my picture posted since we are known in a vanilla world.

You do not have to be insulting because someone declines your offer. In a very small community I do not think race is the issue with you finding the right submissive to serve you. I think it is your reputation for being insecure about your race and your wanting to always bring that to the fore front of every issue and to use it as an excuse for anything in this world that does not go your way. Reality check, this is 2006, not 1966 as a race we are all humans. I do not use the fact that I am a woman as a reason for me not progressing in my career or any other issue in my life.

Post #: 1

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 8:10:18 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I wouldn't have responded to the second email at all. It is his problem, not yours. Even if you did not want to date outside your own ethnicity this would not make you a racist. It is a preference as any other. Some men do not want to date someone as tall as me for example, some women do not date bald men. Everyone has a right to date whom they choose, and that does not make a person racist. Shrug it off. At least I would

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 2

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 8:25:47 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasetame

This is a response to someone accusing me of being a racist because I declined an offer. I guess I want to understand why people think this way. When I went to respond to the accusing email I was blocked. So many say..."it is rude to not answer emails" but when you politely say "no thank you" you are attacked. This bothers me.
Response:
Why the response Sir, I was polite enough to say "no thank" and to reply to your post at all, maybe I should have ignored you. My looks are not an issue the fact that Im married and in a high profile career is an issues and my husband does not want my picture posted since we are known in a vanilla world.

You do not have to be insulting because someone declines your offer. In a very small community I do not think race is the issue with you finding the right submissive to serve you. I think it is your reputation for being insecure about your race and your wanting to always bring that to the fore front of every issue and to use it as an excuse for anything in this world that does not go your way. Reality check, this is 2006, not 1966 as a race we are all humans. I do not use the fact that I am a woman as a reason for me not progressing in my career or any other issue in my life.

Replying to mails or not replying to them isn't the issue....personal choice is....... If you are secure in the knowledge that you have no racist issue, then that's the end of it. You just CAN'T account for every other human's reactions or behaviour.......so basically, don't even try.

agirl

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 3

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 8:38:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Never expect anyone to share the same values and manners that you do.

Be happily surprised when they do.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 4

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 8:50:46 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

That sort of response is a feature not a glitch. You learned something valuable from it... that you don't want to have anything to do with the jerk.

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 5

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 10:53:11 AM

pleasetame

Posts: 75
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

Thank you everyone, this makes me feel better. I attempt to be respectful to all.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 6

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 11:13:26 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

My respect for went through the roof for declining when it wasn't your scene for what ever reason.. I wish more folks would learn to do that just as I wish more people would learn toaccept rejection of an offer with grace and the understanding that not every body is in the buying zone for what they have to offer all the time....

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 7

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 11:49:28 AM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline

I wouldn't care if the person was pink with yellow dots - if they are a tit they don't get a response.

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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 8

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 1:08:37 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Actually I am also one of those who replies to almost every email I get. I have frequently replied, "Thanks but no thanks" with the reason if there was a specific one. Maybe I'm lucky but I usually get back an appreciative response for considering it and replying instead of leaving them in limbo.

However, if someone is outright rude and obnoxious or I feel they are baiting me...I just let it go. Why waste your energy on a jerk?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 9

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 1:16:35 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I am another like that. I believe that if someone took his time to write to me, the least I can do is answer, Having said that, I have gotten many rude responses or those who try and convince me otherwise, after I have said no.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 10

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 1:25:38 PM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

I did the same thing.. I would write and say..thanks but I am not interested at this time... most of the time... I didn't get anything back...once in a while..a thanks for responding at all...and then of course..the occasional rude one.

You know you aren't racist..if it makes that persons ego feel better to think that you are... let them.. they obviously need it to get thru their day.

~Ticia

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 11

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 1:37:50 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I am another like that. I believe that if someone took his time to write to me, the least I can do is answer, Having said that, I have gotten many rude responses or those who try and convince me otherwise, after I have said no.

I do not even respond anymore at all because I do not want drama in my mailbox in the form of someone who is angry that I rejected them. If they didnt read my profile to see that I wasnt looking, I doubt they will respect if I reiterate it to them.

I think it is nice that you respond to all of them though bandit...lol. I tried when I was looking, but then I gave up because like you said, many of them took it as an invitation to argue the point with me. I figure many of them have sent out an email to many many submissives, so they weren't probably going to notice if I did not write back.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 12

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 1:38:03 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

When you write someone back rejecting future consideration you are just going to get some replies back that are quite negative. Being called a racist is just one of the many reasons impolite and insecure people might use. Just like the other negative responses you just have to ignore it. Not your problem but theirs.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 13

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 3:16:36 PM

JassWolf

Posts: 59
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline

The "race card" is an interesting one (I hope I don't get flamed here, lol!) but I've run into folk applying for jobs who will bring 'racism' up in the apparent belief that it may get them an edge ... I don't know whether they think we'll be intimidated, or whether they're looking for a sympathy boost, or what, but the net effect is that we run like hell.

And no, we don't hire that sort.

And no, you shouldn't respond to it. I respect the fact you didn't and hope you're by now over feeling bad that the jerk was either trying to manipulate you or being defensive with no reason.

Best wishes in your own search!

JW

_____________________________

The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? -- Thoreau

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 14

RE: Should subs respond to posts- Is race an issue? - 6/18/2006 6:19:50 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasetame

This is a response to someone accusing me of being a racist because I declined an offer.

It is sad that racism exists on both sides of the fence. And it is disheartening that someone would draw the so-called "racist" card to accuse you. According to your account of what happened, and what led up to you declining his offer, I believe you were very open, honest and discreet about it. That in itself should be sufficient.

< Message edited by iliv2servher -- 6/18/2006 6:21:21 PM >

(in reply to pleasetame)

Post #: 15

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