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RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 4:19:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Honestly, I don't care if someone else thinks we're dishonoring D/s. I'm in an amazingly happy relationship with the love of my life and have been for 13 years.

Part two is why do they care about what I do in my relationship?
This is very much how I see Dominance.

Last time I checked, I was the person in control around here. As a responsible person, I try to look at various angles, and take that into account into making decisions. Once I've done that, I don't care very much about dissenters.

My old sig line.......

"I really appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 4:25:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Yeah, I honestly don't give a crap if someone thinks I'm not really a submissive, or if they think our relationship isn't really D/s. The bottom line is that I'm happy and don't need to match anyone else's definition to be so.

That's why I don't get people that get so hung up on what the difference between a slave and submissive. Who cares? As long as you're happy, why bother?

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 12/31/2012 4:26:40 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 5:45:59 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Yeah, I honestly don't give a crap if someone thinks I'm not really a submissive, or if they think our relationship isn't really D/s. The bottom line is that I'm happy and don't need to match anyone else's definition to be so.

Yeah, color me in that square too. I am truly happy. I can live with not being twuly dominant.

That's why I don't get people that get so hung up on what the difference between a slave and submissive. Who cares? As long as you're happy, why bother?
I get why people who aren't in a relationship do this. It's a lot of posturing and positioning for status of some sort (most domly dom and most submissive sub). What confused the hell out of me is the rare time or so I've seen someone in an established, happy relationship doing it. I mean seriously, at that point you're not involved with the larger group any more. You're not "running the race". There's no status or position.



_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 6:01:18 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I get why people who aren't in a relationship do this. It's a lot of posturing and positioning for status of some sort (most domly dom and most submissive sub).


There's a profile on the other side that says, "I'm a slave. If you don't know what that means, then don't contact me." Everytime I see it, I think to myself, that statement is the reason she's been looking for so long.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 6:10:25 PM   
aldorax


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: MD/DC/VA
Status: offline
I think it's just a matter of ego and belief that one body of understanding *must* be the only acceptable one. GRARGH....hate people like that, I do.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 6:43:41 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13

Recently someone commented to me that loving your sub was an insult to the dynamic of the D/s relationship.  He basically said that if I loved my sub (which I do, and i also care about her, and respect her) it was a disgrace and he would "out" me.  I told him that yes, it may muddle things up a bit, but that in my opinion caring about your sub and respecting them as a human being, even loving them can add extra dimensions to the intensity of playtime.

What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?


Love is just another way
of saying what you meant to say
when words fall short of what they mean to you.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to TYPHON13)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 8:04:45 PM   
stevetng1957


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/30/2012
Status: offline 		I think that to have the true relationship and allow it and you and your sub to grow there have to feelings, trust. Call it love or a deep caring you can't hear what your sub wants, and they can't come close to satisfying your wants without the feelings. Let him out you if your sub stands with you, it doesn't matter what others think.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: D/s and love - 12/31/2012 8:24:50 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I've seen that one. The immediate thought in my head is "Nope, I don't so I'm not going to contact her."

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: D/s and love - 1/1/2013 9:54:02 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13

Recently someone commented to me that loving your sub was an insult to the dynamic of the D/s relationship.  He basically said that if I loved my sub (which I do, and i also care about her, and respect her) it was a disgrace and he would "out" me.  I told him that yes, it may muddle things up a bit, but that in my opinion caring about your sub and respecting them as a human being, even loving them can add extra dimensions to the intensity of playtime.

What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?




It never fails to amaze me the stupidity of some people. The only insult I see occurring is this idiot that is thinking loving within the D/s dynamic is an insult.

I have three women I am very much in love with. This love is essential to the strength of our dynamic. Enough said!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to TYPHON13)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: D/s and love - 1/1/2013 10:25:34 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Sure sure Knight... you've got three slaves now but... you're doing it wrong.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: D/s and love - 1/1/2013 11:13:21 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: online 		I met a man from CM for coffee who told me that a master cannot be in love with his slave, because then he is ruled by his emotions and cannot exercise the needed authority and control. I told him that in my view, any master who can't enslave and control the woman he loves shouldn't be calling himself a master. Nothing like a newbie (me) with strong opinions!

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to TYPHON13)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: D/s and love - 1/1/2013 2:47:34 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Sure sure Knight... you've got three slaves now but... you're doing it wrong.


Actually... Two slaves... The new love in my life is one that we are still on a path of discovery to what is best and fits for all of us. Lets call her my fuck toy for sake of discussion... ;)

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: D/s and love - 1/13/2013 4:14:31 PM   
SayangKitty


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I met a man from CM for coffee who told me that a master cannot be in love with his slave, because then he is ruled by his emotions and cannot exercise the needed authority and control. I told him that in my view, any master who can't enslave and control the woman he loves shouldn't be calling himself a master. Nothing like a newbie (me) with strong opinions!



I agree with you :) the biggest reason I trust my Master is because I know He loves me. It doesn't mean He hasn't got authority or control; it means the opposite.
I've got nothing against M/s relationships without love, whatever a person likes is their business, I just wouldn't trade mine for the world.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require...

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: D/s and love - 1/13/2013 4:23:27 PM   
Dreadmath


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/10/2013
Status: offline 		Oh but of course! When I signed the all mighty Contract of Domination to receive my dominant certificate (because you need one to be a proper dominant yes!) one of the terms was:

-You are hereby prohibited from loving the person you grow closest to.

I signed it right away, because exercising the proper control and authority to someone I don't love has always been my lifelong goal...

(in reply to SayangKitty)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: D/s and love - 1/13/2013 7:18:27 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:



"I really appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."





I quite miss that sig, it was one of my favorites.


There are many different nuances of love, whether it is between friends, lovers, family, for one's furry pets, or even a man and his sport of choice. And given that broad spectrum, it must be understood that D/s without love (of any variation) is abuse.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: D/s and love - 1/13/2013 7:56:31 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13
What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?

I do love my submissive and I wouldn't have it any other way. If I didn't love him & he me on some level, the dynamic would not last, IMO. However, there are as many ways to have D/s dynamics as there are people IN them. Besides, why should that other person give a rat's ass how you conduct your dynamic. It's your dynamic, not his.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to TYPHON13)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: D/s and love - 1/14/2013 8:28:32 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreadmath
Oh but of course! When I signed the all mighty Contract of Domination to receive my dominant certificate (because you need one to be a proper dominant yes!) one of the terms was:

-You are hereby prohibited from loving the person you grow closest to.

I signed it right away, because exercising the proper control and authority to someone I don't love has always been my lifelong goal...

OK, I vote we keep him. We've been needing someone to replace MadRabbit, no?


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Dreadmath)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: D/s and love - 1/14/2013 8:31:51 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I was actually thinking we need to keep him too. He makes a nice addition to the room don't ya think?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: D/s and love - 1/14/2013 11:39:04 AM   
Dreadmath


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/10/2013
Status: offline 		Now I know how a collectible figurine feels like ^^

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: D/s and love - 1/14/2013 11:47:11 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If she isn't worthy of my love, she sure as hell isn't worthy of my dominance.

(in reply to Dreadmath)
Profile   Post #: 40
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