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RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 1:54:58 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxogirl
I think one should think and discuss it with there partner before they get it.

Good. It's good to know yourself. That will be useful information for you when you're trying to start another and hopefully more positive relationship. But what is your response to Carol who doesn't agree? She thinks that she should be my property rather than "discuss". Sure, we DO discuss things but that's not the bottom line for her. Is she wrong? Can you justify that?

I got a tattoo that said "slave" above my cunt and regret it because I'm no longer with that person and it's hard to explain that tattoo to others that I try to be with. I told him I wanted a tattoo because it was less painful than a branding.
And so just like on the other thread YOU made a bad decision about who to obey and you paid the price for it. Were I you I'd be giving more warnings about giving away authority to people you don't know than I would tattoos.

About punishment, my daddy dom and I agree that the law is the up most punishment. Other than that, why should he hit me out of anger or because I'm doing something wrong? I see it as, unless its a "punishment" or something for sexual pleasure (not always mine, mostly his) it shouldn't be done. If no one is getting any sexual pleasure why is it being done?
Because it works for the couple involved. Does success really need a justification? If you really want to understand why it works my experience is that it's a unique answer for each couple and it's way easier to gain actual understanding face to face in someone's living room than it is online here.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 21

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 1:54:59 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxogirl
If no one is getting any sexual pleasure why is it being done?

I'm confused. I thought this was explained...??

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Post #: 22

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 2:02:14 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxogirl

If no one is getting any sexual pleasure why is it being done?

Because the people involved feel like doing it and find it pertinent to their lives- there doesn't need to be more of an answer than that. Adults are free to choose how they interact with each other.

Why do they have to be getting sexual pleasure? If a man gets up in the morning to make breakfast for his woman, and he isn't getting sexual pleasure out of that, why does he do it? Because he feels like it, and it enhances his relationship and/or view of himself.

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Post #: 23

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 2:22:16 PM

RedMagic1

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxogirl
I got a tattoo that said "slave" above my cunt and regret it because I'm no longer with that person and it's hard to explain that tattoo to others that I try to be with.

In case you're interested in my general thoughts about body modification:

You can remove a wedding ring more easily than a tattoo. Therefore, a tattoo in honor of another person is a more serious commitment than a marriage.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 2:39:46 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxogirl

Is there a "loving" way to harshly punish your submissive? And is leaving any lasting marks on a person okay (ie, tattoos, scars, branding, etc.) Thanks for responding. I'd appreciate hearing from submissive women.

Absolutely. If a submissive needs to be "punished" (I prefer terms like "educated" if we're not talking something physical) all that's really needed is a reminder of why the inappropriate behaviour is inappropriate. That can come in any number of forms, from withholding and denial, to an annoying task ("I will not..." in handwriting comes to mind)...you name it.

This also depends on the dynamic. I've never had to "punish" my girl. If she did something I didn't like, I'd tell her. We'd discuss it. Maybe there's mitigating circumstances I'm not aware of; maybe she didn't understand my view on something. If it's a lack of education on what I want, then I dropped the ball, and I have to correct the situation. If it's refusal to do what I want, I want to know why, and from there we work it out. I'll repeat for edification, this has never been an issue in the dynamic I have with my girl: however, this is how I would prefer to deal with it. That probably won't work for others, but that's fine; to each their own.

Lasting marks, as said throughout the responses you've received so far, require consent and a few brain cells. If you've got those, and you want to make lasting marks, all the power to you. It's a limit for my girl and I don't worry about it, because I don't want to mark someone permanently unless we're permanent and they want it. I'm quite content with her wearing my ring, and her collar (and once the chain is adjusted to fit her better, her necklace for public wear, since she doesn't want to advertise her interests).

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Post #: 25

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 8:21:34 PM

JeffBC

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Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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Uh... Red? Have you ever tired to remove a wedding ring? I could carve the tattoo off with a butter knife and that'd be much easier.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Post #: 26

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 9:48:29 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Uh... Red? Have you ever tired to remove a wedding ring? I could carve the tattoo off with a butter knife and that'd be much easier.

I see you need my welding services. Contact me on the other side for an estimate.

You're good with pain, right.

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

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Post #: 27

RE: Punishment question - 12/31/2012 10:25:41 PM

TimeLimited

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Joined: 7/4/2012
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I should note that I am a DOM who has visited this issue in discussion with others before.
======================
It is an individual choice or a shared choice depending on the dynamics of the agreements in place. Personally, I would NOT brand nor otherwise permanently mark her for any reason. I do not like brands, tattoos, cuttings nor anything else that intentionally makes for imperfect skin tones.

I have on very special occassions used wax, body paint or lipsticks to label the sub or use her to wish someone a special day, but those will come off with some scrubbing.

In play with someone that I have established a pattern with / someone that I have played with before and expect to again, I may make a mark that will last a few hours. I have left a few that lasted up to a week on those that cherish such marks.

My most effective punishment has always been to do nothing when play time was scheduled. The loss of my time and attention has without fail been far more effective that "beating them within an inch of their life". It has been more true when I kept the date and then done nothing but park them nude and ignored them. I do make the offensive event known and why this is happening.

< Message edited by TimeLimited -- 12/31/2012 10:29:11 PM >

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Post #: 28