quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

So, so far it looks like neither side will send out emails because either they find it not worth their time or because they just don't feel like they should have to lol. It makes me wonder how anyone gets together on here. lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: OhRose

- Cross-posted, as I realized that it wasn't really necessary to aim it at a single group.

So I've been around this site for a number of months now, and of the people that view me, perhaps 1 in 20 will be of interest to me in D/s sexual sense (I.e. Intelligent Dominant women whose profiles actually make me want to get to know them further). Now around 1 in 10 of those that interest me will send a message. I'm an awkward, shy person generally, especially when it comes to things with an air of intimacy or sexuality and tend to just hope that I'll receive a message if I view the person back (Though this is not the case everytime).

So my question, or questions are thus:

Is it down to the submissive to initiate contact?

Do Dominants shy away from making the first move in the direction of getting to know somebody?

quote:

ORIGINAL: muhly22222

The vast majority of the first contacts I'm involved in are me sending out messages. I view it as a low-risk, high-reward proposition. What's the risk of sending a message? Well, I lose 5-10 minutes of my time (or maybe more, depending on the length of the message or how difficult the profile is to respond to). And that's it. If they read it and choose not to respond, it didn't injure me in any way other than the slight loss of time. If they don't ever open it, I only lose the small amount of time I've invested. Would I like to get a response to every one? Of course, but I know that's not going to happen.

But what is the potential reward? At worst, a feeling of finality, knowing that it wasn't going to work. At best, I find exactly what I'm looking for. Yeah, I'll take that chance.

That being said, some of my favorite people to talk with have initiated contact with me. I would think that most people are happy to receive some sort of message. It might be from a person they didn't know existed, or somebody they thought they had minimal chance with, or thought would be incompatible when they really wouldn't. And if not, do you really lose that much?

So my vote is to always go for it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: samdarella

I'm usually kind of shy (pause to let everyone stop laughing. I did say shy not modest) about meeting new people. But then I figured wtf what's the worst can happen. They don't message me back. So if I found a profile, picture or journal entry noteworthy I would drop a couple of lines. Made a few friends that way. And that's how I met Master. I even had to message Him first twice as we didn't really make time to connect the first time around.

quote:

ORIGINAL: samdarella

I'm usually kind of shy (pause to let everyone stop laughing. I did say shy not modest) about meeting new people. But then I figured wtf what's the worst can happen. They don't message me back. So if I found a profile, picture or journal entry noteworthy I would drop a couple of lines. Made a few friends that way. And that's how I met Master. I even had to message Him first twice as we didn't really make time to connect the first time around.