The Impossible Task

The Impossible Task (Full Version)

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AthenaSurrenders -> The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 1:44:05 PM)
Is it ever ok for a dominant to give a submissive a task he or she knows to be impossible? I'm not basing this on any particular order or incident, so feel free to invent your own hypothetical situation or share a real experience to illustrate your point. I've heard many people state than being given unrealistic orders and tasks can be damaging to a relationship. I can certainly see that point - even a strong person's confidence would be undermined if they were constantly made to feel like a failure, and if punishments were doled out for failure it could well border on abusive. On the other hand, I've heard people talk of using an impossible order as a tool, perhaps to instill the expectation that the dominants orders should always be attempted, as the obedience itself is the goal rather than the outcome of the task. I dimly remember someone here talking of setting a near-impossible task in order to watch how the submissive tackled it and learn about how she prioritised and dealt with the pressure, and give them something to work on. I can see it being used for 'funishment' scenarios. Can anyone offer any other reasons why they might assign an impossible or at least unrealistic task? Have you done this, or been on the receiving end? Did it turn out positively? Can it ever be a good thing? If so, where is the line drawn between using it to good effect and just making someone's life very hard for no good reason? How would/did you react as a sub? Does it make any difference to your answer if the task is a fun or sexy one as opposed to a serious subject? How about if it is obviously impossible vs just very very difficult?

OsideGirl -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 1:52:08 PM)
Unless it's done as a funishment thing, I believe that it does harm to the relationship. I believe that a good dominant sets his submissive to succeed. Setting a submissive up to fail just causes frustration and resentment, and if the submissive ever finds out that she was deliberately set up to fail, her trust in him will be harmed.

mnottertail -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 1:58:01 PM)
Yes, the Kobiyashi Maru conundrum. Fail elegantly, and learn that, you can't always win. And a very clear debriefing. Catch them doing right. Know that failure is acceptable in small measures. There is won't.............and can't, we all have limits.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:03:31 PM)
~FRing it~ Intentionally setting someone up to fail is just not okay in my book. To each their own, so Im certainly not judging anyone else. For me personally, it crosses a line for me. I have always operated from the belief that I am ultimately responsible for my submissive's physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Continually setting them up to fail with tasks that I know will be impossible for them to complete violates their mental and emotional well-being IMHO. I guess the only exception to this would be if its all part of a dynamic that both people agree to or its being used as funishment (which Im assuming both people are on board with).

kiwisub12 -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:13:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Yes, the Kobiyashi Maru conundrum. Fail elegantly, and learn that, you can't always win. And a very clear debriefing. Catch them doing right. Know that failure is acceptable in small measures. There is won't.............and can't, we all have limits. No no - the Kobiyashi Maru scenerio gave a second ending - cheating wins. [:D] So if you have an impossible task, think outside the box for a solutions and i have to love anyone who can come up with Star Trek examples.........[:D]

Kana -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:14:46 PM)
I can't help it-it fits too well. Forgive me, please "Are you going to Scarborough fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme Remember me to one who lives there He once was a true love of mine Tell him to make me a cambric shirt Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme Without no seam nor needlework Then he'll be a true love of mine Tell him to find me an acre of land Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme Between the salt water and the sea strand Then he'll be a true love of mine Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme And gather it all in a bunch of heather Then she'll be a true love of mine Are you going to Scarborough fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme Remember me to one who lives there He once was a true love of mine"

ARIES83 -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:16:07 PM)
I can think of a few times it could be useful, but personally I see more practical benifits comming from tasks that require struggle to complete but are completable. I'd be interested in reading peoples experiences with this as well. -Aries

littlewonder -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:17:01 PM)
impossible? No. He's more the type who feels nothing is impossible. He has however, given me orders that he knew would be incredibly difficult for me or just outlandish just to see if I would do it, which of course, I cringe, I take my time, I hem-haw but eventually I get to it or he stops me before I do it because he just wanted to see if I would do it. There have been times when I have cried my eyes out and begged him. It hasn't ruined our relationship yet either. But now that I posted this....I just know he's gonna get some kind of ideas. [8D]

mnottertail -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:19:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Yes, the Kobiyashi Maru conundrum. Fail elegantly, and learn that, you can't always win. And a very clear debriefing. Catch them doing right. Know that failure is acceptable in small measures. There is won't.............and can't, we all have limits. No no - the Kobiyashi Maru scenerio gave a second ending - cheating wins. [:D] So if you have an impossible task, think outside the box for a solutions and i have to love anyone who can come up with Star Trek examples.........[:D] I don't know that cheating won, a different paradigm was envisioned, working outside the box. But, actions have consequences and it may lead slavegirl into a real motherfuckin nasty Romulon piss-up.............

ARIES83 -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:23:46 PM)
Romulan*

Kana -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:24:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder impossible? No. He's more the type who feels nothing is impossible. He has however, given me orders that he knew would be incredibly difficult for me or just outlandish just to see if I would do it, which of course, I cringe, I take my time, I hem-haw but eventually I get to it or he stops me before I do it because he just wanted to see if I would do it. There have been times when I have cried my eyes out and begged him. It hasn't ruined our relationship yet either. But now that I posted this....I just know he's gonna get some kind of ideas. [8D] That's because he has a whole hell of a lot more faith in her (And her various and sundry capacities and capabilities-hehehehehe) than she does

littlewonder -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:25:51 PM)
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

seekingreality -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:34:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Is it ever ok for a dominant to give a submissive a task he or she knows to be impossible? I once knew a domme who liked what she called "No win situations." These were tasks that no matter how you did them she would judge you did them wrong. It really never did much for it, because i couldn't take it seriously. It someone asked me to do a task that seriously couldn't be done -- be ridiculous, like, Pick up a car -- I would simply tell that, "Sorry, you are asking for something that is impossible." But if someone continued along those lines, I imagine I could quickly become bored of them and discontinue the relationship.

myotherself -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 2:54:56 PM)
I briefly dated a guy who set stupid/impossible/limit-breaking tasks. One day it was 'don't wear a bra for work'. Yeah, right. I'm not exactly tiny in the chest department and I work with children. Not appropriate! He got pissy when I said that broke the 'thou shalt not mess around with my career' limit, and said the next day I was to work all day with a butt plug in. Same response. So his final idea? Go into a bar near where I live, pick up a guy and have sex with him. That was pretty much the final nail in the coffin for that relationship. Thankfully! lol

mnottertail -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 3:00:30 PM)
Was the guy at the bar any good?

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 4:01:38 PM)
I wouldn't even try. I can't respect someone who gives me impossible orders. I must have faith that the order can be achieved, otherwise I would doubt every order I was given.

SimplyMichael -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 4:02:25 PM)
Its not important that the task is impossible. What is important is why its being done, how she will react and do yoi have the skills to fix it if it backfires. Telling her that if she was a good girl she would have forced her ass back against the wall and the huge buttplug mounted on the wal but if she loved you her lips would be pressed to the base of your cock and her tounge trying to lick your balls and tell her she is slut for fucking her ass and a whore for gagging on your cock. For someone that would be an impossibly hot mindfuck. For another woman it would make her feel like a failure. Setting another woman up for a failure she fears and when she fails showering her with love might be cathartic. However, in the hands of most its a train wreck...

myotherself -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 4:09:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Was the guy at the bar any good? You were amazing, honey. The best. Now, about that $50 you owe me....[:D]

Focus50 -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 4:35:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders Is it ever ok for a dominant to give a submissive a task he or she knows to be impossible? Absolutely yes, it IS ok if the sub is inclined to get hung up on the fear of failure. To me, it isn't about her always succeeding no matter what I task her with, it's about trying her best. If I think she is hung up on not failing me, my preferred "task" is to fit her out with a hogtie and have her release herself. For those who don't know me, I tie my girl up like I mean it. There is no wishy washy "you're not sposta undo the ropes" kinda nonsensical rules in my D/s - she absolutely can, *IF* she's able to.... So once hogtied, I encourage her to get free; I dare her; I berate her; I fuck with any fears about spiders coming toward her or the house catching fire etc - whatever it takes to TRY HER BEST to get free. It's always ended in a mass of sweat and tears and feelings of hopelessness and failure etc and only then do I comfort her and explain the real lesson she's just learnt and how she's passed with flying colours. First is that I, the Dominant, define success and failure, not her. Second is that I'm in charge and make the choices in this relationship, not her. Third, had she gotten free, the failure is all mine for tying lousy knots. Assuming she hasn't hurt herself in the process, the lesson ends with me explaining that the choices are all mine and that it suits me to leave her bound for the interim. That she's to suck it up and "let it go", let out everything pent up inside and relax as best she can until I decide to release her. Or she can have another crack if she wants.... lol What's always followed has been 2-3 hours of blissful sub-space (and Dom-space). Despite her only seeing my best poker face, fringe benefit for sado-dom me is getting to watch my favourite naked, squirming female trying to undo a hogtie. [8D] Focus.

kalikshama -> RE: The Impossible Task (1/4/2013 5:04:22 PM)
quote: If I think she is hung up on not failing me, my preferred "task" is to fit her out with a hogtie and have her release herself. For those who don't know me, I tie my girl up like I mean it. There is no wishy washy "you're not sposta undo the ropes" kinda nonsensical rules in my D/s - she absolutely can, IF she's able to.... If you'll pardon the brief hijack, someone on another thread mentioned hogtying for an amount of time that did not seem reasonable to me. I know everyone is different, but how long do you usually leave your girls in a hogtie? Or, in this scenario, after how long would you release her?

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