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Question For you slaves/sub - 1/4/2013 10:15:20 PM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

Okay so not the most original forum subject. lol

As a Domme I have contacted you. Politely no bow to me sort of thing. Now we have exchanged a coupe cmails and we progress to ym.
After talking a few hours Me asking about you what you want, what you do for a living, why you want to be slave,why you think you are a slave. Nice chat I'm not asking you to be my slave but I ask if there are questions for me. You say lots but you are exhausted and need to go to bed. and can we chat again soon.
Sure I say I'm on yahoo either on my phone or laptop just hit me up.
Now later the next day I send you an email asking you to let me know when you'll be online since there is a three hour difference in our times. You don't answer back.
Do I take it that you just don't have time for me or that your not really as interested as you seemed last night and I should just move on.

Thank you to all the sub/slaves for your time in answering this.

With respect

Lady D

Post #: 1

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/4/2013 10:22:29 PM

muhly22222

Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline

I really don't think anybody here can answer that for you. It's possible they reconsidered. It's possible they didn't check their email (I don't check the email address I use for Yahoo every day). It's possible they were leading you along the whole time. It's possible that they were trying to let you down easy without making you mad.

Whatever the reason, either they will contact you again or they won't. There's not really anything you can do about it, so you don't really gain anything by thinking or worrying about it. If you are spending time thinking or worrying about it, you're just losing that time, and I'm sure there are more productive ways to spend it.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 2

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/4/2013 10:33:57 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

People have all kinds of reasons why they don't follow through. Basically they've changed their minds for some reason and didn't want to tell you. Or maybe their spouse caught on, or they were living out a fantasy and it got too close to not being a fantasy any longer, something legit came up, etc...who knows? There isn't anything you can do so just let it go. It's hard to have unanswered questions, but that's something that can't be resolved, so just move on and forget about this person. Isn't it lucky they showed themselves to be unreliable so early on?

It's still early into things, I'd wait and see what happens over the next few days.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 3

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/4/2013 10:35:40 PM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

I really haven't been spending time worrying about it. lol

I just was wandering around the boards and the question just popped in my head. lol

Thank you

With Respect

Lady D

< Message edited by beardedknight -- 1/4/2013 10:37:21 PM >

(in reply to muhly22222)

Post #: 4

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 1:01:24 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

There could be a LOT of reasons. Don't fret about it.

Also, I'd suggest shorter than a few-hour initial chat, so if contact drops you haven't lost that much time.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 5

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 9:47:53 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

People have all kinds of reasons why they don't follow through. Basically they've changed their minds for some reason and didn't want to tell you. Or maybe their spouse caught on, or they were living out a fantasy and it got too close to not being a fantasy any longer, something legit came up, etc...who knows?

It reminds me of a guy I dated. We had our first date. He called the next day (Friday) and left a message. I happened to be moving from Long Beach to OC that weekend and was starting a new job on Monday. I planned on calling him back on Sunday. Sunday night, I'm packing up the last load and notice the answering machine. I play the message. It's him accusing me of avoiding him and not being graceful enough to come right out and tell him that I wasn't interested. When I called him back, he got lit up.

Bottom line: Real life happens.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 6

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 10:10:31 AM

SacredDepravity

Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

Two things come to mind. As Oside said, real life happens. I don't spend every waking minute chatting with my kinky friends and neither do most people. Maybe someone's been in the hospital or have had some household disaster or just have crashed from all the holiday hoopla. No one can know.

On the other hand, I am willing to hold surface level and conceptual conversations about this stuff with people from most anywhere. That doesn't mean I want to try to sustain a full relationship with them. I deal more or less locally. A few hours drive is a big deal to me. You stated that there is a three HOUR time difference between you and the person to whom you were speaking meaning that they either are on the other side of the country or even live in a different country from you. For many, that is unsustainable in the long term. Better to just not continue things while it is early than to do it when it will be more painful. This is a sucky way of doing it, but there you have it.

Choose a cut off time, OP. After this time, you consider any potential of starting a relationship ended. This doesn't mean if they come back with a very real reason they've been gone so long that you can't revisit the issue then, but it gives you a way to close the book in case there never is a return and explanation. After say, two weeks or a month, whatever, you move on and what happens happens. Don't communicate that to the person. Just let it be a guide in your own mind both now and in the future. If they are having life stuff, burdening them with a time constraint can make you appear impatient and unrealistic. If they are not interested, continued communication can seem stifling and even stalkerish. Let it go. When the time you choose elapses, move on and let life go where it will.

SD

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 10:10:44 AM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

How long has it been without an answer?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 11:31:40 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

It was an excuse because they were bored with you or found you not to be their type. It's the same as when you call a woman for a date and she says she has to wash her hair.

Personally, fix your grammar and you may find you get better responses. I had a tough time even reading this so I can only imagine how difficult it must be to someone trying to read your emails or chats.

ETA: After trying to read it again, I think it's just the way you wrote it like you would be talking to someone in real life with the pauses and such, but I can't read the pauses so I had to actually read it out loud to actually grasp it.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/5/2013 11:34:41 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 9

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 1:18:19 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight
Do I take it that you just don't have time for me or that your not really as interested as you seemed last night and I should just move on.

This is the internet. What that means is that you have no freakin idea what is going on in the other person's life right now. Perhaps their grandmother just died? Maybe they don't like you? Maybe an important project at work blew up? Perhaps their power and/or internet is down? It could be anything. Accordingly, you trying to guess what's going on and making decisions on that basis is just wild flailing. I'd recommend paying attention to you and what you want (which you do know all about).

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 10

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 4:51:27 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It sounds like you're invested more in a casual first chat then they are. Lets say that you were at Starbucks and started talking to the person on line ahead of you. You both had time to kill so you sat down together and continued chatting. When you left, you would tell them you enjoyed the conversation and hope to run into him again some time. Does this mean that if they aren't at Starbucks the next day at the same time they didn't enjoy the conversation or they lied when they said they did? Not at all.

It just means that you're barely an acquaintance and it's way to early to decide you're going to be lovers of bff.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 11

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 6:19:43 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight
After talking a few hours Me asking about you what you want, what you do for a living, why you want to be slave,
why you think you are a slave. Nice chat I'm not asking you to be my slave but I ask if there are questions for me.
You say lots but you are exhausted and need to go to bed. and can we chat again soon

Do I take it that you just don't have time for me or that your not really as interested as you seemed last night

From the scenario you presented here, what stands out the most to me is that you spent a few hours talking with this
person. and yet they did not ask any questions of you. I would not have assumed there was much interest to begin with.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 12

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 7:43:45 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beardedknight

Okay so not the most original forum subject. lol

As a Domme I have contacted you. Politely no bow to me sort of thing. Now we have exchanged a coupe cmails and we progress to ym.
After talking a few hours Me asking about you what you want, what you do for a living, why you want to be slave,why you think you are a slave. Nice chat I'm not asking you to be my slave but I ask if there are questions for me. You say lots but you are exhausted and need to go to bed. and can we chat again soon.
Sure I say I'm on yahoo either on my phone or laptop just hit me up.
Now later the next day I send you an email asking you to let me know when you'll be online since there is a three hour difference in our times. You don't answer back.
Do I take it that you just don't have time for me or that your not really as interested as you seemed last night and I should just move on.

Thank you to all the sub/slaves for your time in answering this.

With respect

Lady D

Lots of people are saying you don't know exactly what this means, and that's true.

But here's the reality check: Male subs don't often get contacted by female dommes. If you contact someone, exchange emails, and spend a couple of hours chatting, and then invite them to contact you, the likelihood is they'll get back quickly if interested. (There can, of course, be other reasons -- they got hit by a truck.) But the odds are if they are not responding quickly, they're probably not into it.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 13

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 9:34:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I remember when I would get emails from men on here. They would send an email asking a question, so I would send them a response back. It was usually a question like, "Hi, how are you?". I'd write back with "Fine"....eerr...how else do you answer that? So then they would continue to ask questions that only take one or two words. they weren't questions that were all that detailed. By about the third question I already knew I was not interested and bored but I wasn't exactly doing anything else either so I'd just continue to answer with one word and figured they'd get bored too eventually and go away lol. But then they would continue. Then when it was time for me to go, I would say "it was nice talking to you. It's time for me to go to bed now".

So then a couple days later they would start sending the same questions again but by that time I had no interest in responding back to them at all so I simply didn't. And never once did I ever ask him any questins whatsoever. His profile and his questions told me everything I needed to know. I keep wondering, op, were you doing this too? Asking questions that only need one word?

The other situation is I would get a dom asking the same types of questions and again, I would do the same thing but eventually he would ask me why I'm only answering with one or two words. I'd write back that his questions didn't ask for any others. I mean how else do you answer, "how are you?" and "So you live in PA?" and "do you like bdsm?" and "Have you ever submitted before?", and etc.....and of course he'd get pissed and come back with something rude.

So again, op....are these the types of questions you are asking?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 14

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/5/2013 11:51:03 PM

darlingcarly

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/10/2012
Status: offline

I would say she probably lost interest. Sometimes I'll be talking to a guy, Dom or not, and I just drop off the face of the planet to them. It's just that we know what we want, and within a short amount of time, we decide whether or not you can give that to us. But being a sub, she probably isn't too big on confrontation. Maybe she thought that as a Dom, you would call her out or make some type of issue and it just stressed her out, so she figured it's best not to deal with it.

It sucks, but it happens a lot. Not saying this is 100% fact, just from my point of view and experience...that's what it seemed like.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 15

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/6/2013 9:59:36 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I remember when I would get emails from men on here. They would send an email asking a question, so I would send them a response back. It was usually a question like, "Hi, how are you?". I'd write back with "Fine"....eerr...how else do you answer that? So then they would continue to ask questions that only take one or two words. they weren't questions that were all that detailed. By about the third question I already knew I was not interested and bored but I wasn't exactly doing anything else either so I'd just continue to answer with one word and figured they'd get bored too eventually and go away lol. But then they would continue. Then when it was time for me to go, I would say "it was nice talking to you. It's time for me to go to bed now".

So then a couple days later they would start sending the same questions again but by that time I had no interest in responding back to them at all so I simply didn't. And never once did I ever ask him any questins whatsoever. His profile and his questions told me everything I needed to know. I keep wondering, op, were you doing this too? Asking questions that only need one word?

The other situation is I would get a dom asking the same types of questions and again, I would do the same thing but eventually he would ask me why I'm only answering with one or two words. I'd write back that his questions didn't ask for any others. I mean how else do you answer, "how are you?" and "So you live in PA?" and "do you like bdsm?" and "Have you ever submitted before?", and etc.....and of course he'd get pissed and come back with something rude.

So again, op....are these the types of questions you are asking?

Or they could just stalk ya nightly for two bloody years :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 16

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/6/2013 12:52:32 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

If it were a Dominant I was interested in and I got an email asking me a question, I'd answer it. In spite of "real life."

One more email on the off chance that something weird did happen would be nice, but my first thought is if there is no response, then there is no interest.

(in reply to beardedknight)

Post #: 17

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/6/2013 4:05:39 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Or they could just stalk ya nightly for two bloody years :-)

Yeah, but that guy emailed more than just "hi, how are you?" every night.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 18

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/7/2013 10:42:17 AM

beardedknight

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/31/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for your time and your answers.

I think that the person in question just was not as interested as first thought. So oh well just have to move on.

Again thank you for your time.

Hope this New Year brings everyone what they want.

With Respect

Lady D

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 19

RE: Question For you slaves/sub - 1/7/2013 10:47:18 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

If it were a Dominant I was interested in and I got an email asking me a question, I'd answer it. In spite of "real life."

One more email on the off chance that something weird did happen would be nice, but my first thought is if there is no response, then there is no interest.

See, I'm one of those people that will look at my email and if I'm interested in sending over a reply, will set it aside until I have time to answer it properly.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 20

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