RE: Fear of being outed

RE: Fear of being outed (Full Version)

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freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/9/2013 4:26:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: Hurtsobad @JeffBc if he ordered me to go then I'd be there and I'd expect nothing less than for him to take care of me financially until I could find another job. blinks You would expect your master to do something that he was non-committal to? Am I missing something here? Didn't you ask him this question and his answer was, "I don't know" ?? Who you hand authority over to is your own business but unless I'm missing something dramatic here I would not make the same decisions you are. That's a good point Jeff. If she expects he's going to 'take care of her' until she finds another job... [sm=dunno.gif] If I were in his shoes, I'd probably see her as a millstone round my neck. The dynamic is pretty much already lost.... and slave-girl would soon be out the door on her ass. The fact that she is now in his house, puts her at a severe disadvantage. I wouldn't wait to suddenly find my key doesn't fit the door any more - I'd be gone.

redripper42 -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 9:49:31 AM)
I, too, have concerns about being outed for being in this lifestyle. My job requires alot of travel, and have the benefit of moving around. However, I understand that a small community can be very cruel if they preceive that a person doesn't fit their values. I would do everything possible to keep a six figure job. (even if it means getting off CM) I would take precautions like just listing the state that I am in, or pick a big city. How many great looking women, with a nice rack, at your age, are in Guthrie? With the book "Fifty Shades of Grey", I think BDSM is not the taboo that it was previously.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 1:26:16 PM)
Ok, I realize the OP has disappeared, but WTF?! She has a "six figure" job, but a recent problem was: quote: ORIGINAL: Hurtsobad ...Downsizing of a company loss of my job, ... So no more six figure salary, unless that was past and there is some new job. In either case, with a salary like that, it should be pretty easy to move. What happened to the place she was living in? Was it sold, or did she rent prior to moving in with him? Quite frankly, I agree with those saying she keeps defending him because she has some fear of moving on, and some warped idea that as a slave, she isn't free to say, "fuck this shit, I'm outta here." Which would definately be my move with what she described. Also, (as someone else also mentioned), how can you be worried about being outed and yet play publicly at all? Saying you "trust" those people in the community is meaningless. If your career is down the tubes if anyone finds out about your kink side, you don't play publicly. And what else, is the time lines just don't add up. She's been in this career for 30+ years, and her profile indicates she 47? Even if she didn't updated her profile, it is not even three years old yet. So she has had this same career since she was 17? Sorry nothing adds up here and it is seriously sounding like bullshit to me.

theRose4U -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 9:18:47 PM)
Lafayette this is yet another example of newbies that come here with a cartload of crap to sell & we are the bad guys for pointing out: -different facts as story unfolds -reality as it applies in our own relationships -fallicies in logic (ie master should pay for me because __) -or thet the whole tale just smells like crap Be we the big bad meanie dominants "gang up on new people & are just mean" Ummm yeah sorry i have a life apparently is no excuse

LafayetteLady -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 9:55:06 PM)
Totally. My only thing is that when two people are a couple and share a household, each should be expected (in my not so humble opinion) to help financially while the other seeks work. It is part and parcel of how couples are supportive of each other.

absolutchocolat -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 10:13:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Sounds to me that you're just scared to be alone. there's therapy for that. QFT. This guy is going to get you outed AND he cheats? Run like hell and take your papers and dignity with you.

heartcream -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/23/2013 10:24:03 PM)
L E A V E. Love yourself, save your own life, spare yourself all this crazy drama, go find peace, you deserve he is a douche bag, whether a gentle giant douche bag or not, he is a douche bag, you deserve better. Ask your Higher Self to guide you to the right place for you to flourish.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/24/2013 12:43:41 AM)
Whether a friend, a lover, a family member, or a play partner, if trust is not present then there is no relationship. Period. That's the standard I keep to take responsibility for my own emotional life. If something different works for you, then your posts do not reflect that.

Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Fear of being outed (1/24/2013 8:13:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hurtsobad 2. Can you continue to live with someone you don't trust? ~~Its hard 5. You say that at the board meetings, he would be able to play with other women, and you don't trust him not to do that? Why not? You can't be with him 24/7, and you're going to have to trust him when you're not there. ~~this is where there is more to the story....I was going thru some pretty major life changes and he felt as if he would put our relationship on hold. He didn't communicate this with me so although I was loaded down with family issues I continued to bust my ass to fill a slave role & only to find out 3 months later.....we did not have a relationship. I asked to get out, within 30 minutes he was online talking with a friend & she asked him if she needed to find him a "good girl" & he said yes. Our negotiated terms before the relationship started was if he was going to play with another he insisted I be there for all the negotiations (not my request) HIS INSISTENCE, within 4 months of the relationship he started negotiating play with a female, they exchanged phone numbers and started texting. I found out from a mutual friend he had contacted her and started all this on his own. He does not deny this happened. 2 other times he has negotiated play without me and I would find out the day before and the day of....@ this point I asked if I could play with someone and he said NO. He wasn't playing with me and hadn't for over 4 months. Edited to add: If you don't trust him to keep his hands off other women, either he's broken your trust before, or someone else has ~~He has broken my trust I have to tell you that it sounds like there is no fixing this. I have been married for 20 years to my husband/ master. If he had done any of this we would at the very least separate, 20 years of marriage or not.

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