RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually exclusive?

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 12:51:16 PM

JeffBC

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Ah yes... definition threads... :)
To me, yes there is. But the difference is subjective. I suspect each of us could more or less clearly point out examples of "bully" and "dominant" and I doubt there'd be much agreement on the point. So i don't see an objective difference between the two but I sure as hell acknowledge a subjective difference. If someone told me that a previous partner of theirs was "dominant" I'd infer vastly different things than if they said "a bully".

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 1:58:43 PM

anaturalsubmiss

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One is psychological. The other physical.

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 2:02:03 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss
One is psychological. The other physical.

Question: Is all psychological domination bullying in your mind? That seems... uh.... fairly non-standard. I get it that you're a sexual submissive but do you really think the entirety of the lifestyle M/s crowd are all bullies?

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 2:03:57 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss

One is psychological. The other physical.

Not necessarily.

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 6:34:09 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anaturalsubmiss

One is psychological. The other physical.

I would say using this definition one is a bully the other an abuser

If one needs to emotionally break down & degrade someone to get obedience its very different from punching them in the face until the same is achieved...neither is dominance

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 1/9/2013 6:35:54 PM >

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 6:51:28 PM

Aswad

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~fr~

The Dom/me gets what s/he wants. The bully takes something out on you. Both may be good, bad or neutral.

Most of the people that have tried bullying me over the years are either dead or politicians now, mostly the former, and none have gotten what they wanted from me (not even votes, lol). Those few that have crossed the line for what I consider tolerable behavior have been "adjusted" the one time it takes, so I've gotten what little I've had any interest in getting from them, which is to have them cease making noise in my vincinity. If I'm horribly bored, I may engage an entertaining bully for more entertainment, but I mostly ignore all such people when possible, because they're distractions with no meaningful input or other relation to my life.

Guess it depends on how you define Dom/me and how you define bully.

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 9:30:08 PM

littlewonder

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Same answer as I gave to Athena's. I don't necessarily equate the two. When I see others calling a Dom a bully I always think that they really don't know the entire story. We only have on side. I also think that what some see as bullying, others see as just a normal part of their relationship. I can't tell you how many times I've seen on here where a Dom did something that everyone else sees as bullying but for Master and I, it's completely normal and just a part of our relationship. There is a context to every story and we don't know both sides. Again, I think people get too wrapped up in their emotions and automatically give a reply from their past experiences.

ETA: I see others saying bullying is dominating someone with fear. I don't necessarily see that as true. There have been times when Master uses fear to dominate me. He's a sadist, so of course he will! Yeah, there are times I'm scared to death of what he will do to me, but I'm his slave. I agreed to this. This is who we are. I still love him. I'm not afraid of him as a person though....only at times when his actions make me want to scream and run. This is where my trust in him comes in, where I know in the end he's not going to kill me. Yeah, I may hurt, I may be left with permanent scars, I may be left with bruises everywhere, etc...but I'm still going to be alive and functioning.

So what that says to me is it all comes down to one simple word.....trust.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/9/2013 9:36:04 PM >

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 9:36:24 PM

sexyred1

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Same as in the Dom vs. Asshole thread, they can or may not be mutually exclusive.

Not sure why everyone is trying to make these terms co-exist; when many people have elements of all these things.

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/9/2013 10:37:15 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Not sure why everyone is trying to make these terms co-exist; when many people have elements of all these things.

Uhm... X and Y both are true of many people, and yet you don't see a reason why X and Y should coexist in discourse?

Perhaps you meant to say something else, but if I read you correctly then I'm perplexed over this.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: Are "Dom" and "Bully" mutually ... - 1/11/2013 12:29:02 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Not sure why everyone is trying to make these terms co-exist; when many people have elements of all these things.

Uhm... X and Y both are true of many people, and yet you don't see a reason why X and Y should coexist in discourse?

Perhaps you meant to say something else, but if I read you correctly then I'm perplexed over this.

IWYW,
— Aswad.