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RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/10/2013 10:38:20 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
It's not just subs - I've lost count of the number of dom profiles I've seen which outline the most ridiculous scenarios for 'real life'.

Or pretty much every single master seeking a slave profile.

My constant thought reading those things is, "Do you have any idea what a fucking pain in the ass owning a human is? It sounds more like you want lots of kinky sex. Find yourself a sub or bottom."

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/10/2013 11:46:39 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Certainly can't disagree with that!

One thing Master told me right from the start is that he doesn't do micromanagement. He wants his sub or slave to make his life easier, not complicate it.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/10/2013 2:02:35 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

It's the Internet. No one is as slutty, or as bad-ass as they portray themselves to be.

I am WAY sluttier than I portray myself to be!

_____________________________

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(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/10/2013 4:11:21 PM

VioletViolence

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline

Thanks all, pretty much got the responses I figured I would, but it was bouncing around in my head so I thought "Why not discuss it?" @TNDommeK & MissAsylum, I'm not a pro and I get this sort of crap all the time. Obviously it's part and parcel of being the D in the D/s equation. I admit part of why I posted was my curiosity as to whether or not this is a widespread thing, or whether it's just the guys stuck in vanilla marriages who've been wanking over it since their teen years but have never once in their life been hit/humiliated/peed on (Yes, I'm generalizing, please don't hate me). @JeffBC, what you said about subs realizing what hard work owning another human being is, oh man are you preaching to the choir. More than half the time I'm reading through a profile and going "So when am I going to find the time to go to work, see my friends and my family, have some time for me, etc in and amongst being the Domliest Domme who ever Dommed and kept you in forced servitude 24/7 with no support from you while you're locked in the closet". Maybe it's my weird aspie brain but I have such a huge stumbling block over people who prefer the fantasy to reality, especially when they have no real intention of seeing if the fantasy really is something that they like. I myself can not have detailed, seriously sexy fantasies about something that I've never experienced. My brain will ponder it and go "Hmm, well this could be hot, but lets try it to be sure". It's not something that keeps me up at night, but I do find human behaviour to be incredibly fascinating.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/10/2013 9:58:38 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletViolence
@JeffBC, what you said about subs realizing what hard work owning another human being is, oh man are you preaching to the choir.

Actually... while I also agree with what you're saying and it happens in the male dom world, I was more referring to all the male doms who have never owned a human thinking how cool it would be. My general assessment is that most of them read the first chapter on "getting blowjobs" and tossed the book aside at that point. That bit about "assume responsibility for a human life" doesn't get much air time.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to VioletViolence)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/11/2013 1:09:45 AM

InnerExtrovert

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/31/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Yet, in the back of my mind, I want to ask.... what about diseases? When I do ask, I typically get told... well.. thats what blood tests are for.. duh. And that simply makes me shake my head. You could fuck someone tonight, get blood tests tomorrow, fuck someone else, and the disease you caught from the first one wont have shown up in the blood tests.

Yes, I've heard that answer also and when meeting someone new that response is a deal-breaker. The general idea, for me anyway, is to NOT have my test come back positive to begin with. If my partner isnt responsible enough to protect himself I'm not sure I can trust him to protect others.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/11/2013 10:41:44 PM

tidbit5021

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

I'm a bottom and I like kinky sex. That being said, I do not post my fantasies in my profile not do I respond to Doms that have detailed "requirements" for very specific fantasies. Th0se profiles often seem to lack even a hint of common sense to me. I also believe that some fantasies are worth carefully thinking through with a partner and trying and some are better left in one's imagination.

Sometimes my fantasies are a bit similar to listening to terrifying ghost stories--they are great to listen to and get that delicious tingly feeling but if the ghosts were real, I'd be running like hell to get away.

(in reply to InnerExtrovert)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/12/2013 5:19:34 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

I've fulfilled most of my fantasies in my previous relationship.
But it was weird, because I never verbalised my fantasies to my X. I felt like he totally read my mind and made things I dream about come true. Anyway, that's y I felt so attached to him, because it's awesome when you don't have to explain or say anything, he just understands perfectly.

From a vanilla guy perspective, anyway, one vanilla guy told me, what did I expect from a man who's kink is control? I wasn't prepared for the extent of control he wanted over my life. I wasn't ready to accept things like him telling me I have to give up my cats, of course I disobeyed on that one, my cats been with me for more than 10 yrs, and his new in my life, that I can't hang out with my friends, Like I can't go skating at his wimp when it's something I've always done regularly to keep fit, like he'll say I could go, then on the day itself, command that I cancel on my friend. Like everything was a test. He wants me to give up things I love and enjoy doing to prove my obedience. So no..., I wasn't prepared to be micro-managed and controlled to such an extent. I was okay with him ordering my food, managing my clothes, there were also alot of things that I enjoyed thoroughly.

But I guess...., it's end of the day about compatibility too right? I mean, surely not all doms have to control those areas of their sub's life.

So..., I don't think you can be prepared for consequences because with every character you hook up with, you're gonna have a totally unique experience with each and everyone of them.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/12/2013 5:22:18 AM >

(in reply to VioletViolence)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/17/2013 2:57:52 PM

MasterTPrincess

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/14/2013
Status: offline

I am an owned sub and have looked into ALL of my kinks before trying them. I don't sleep with random people and my Master would have a coniption if I slept with anyone but him. I am not actually into the whole human toilet/scat play either. However I am into Corsets and it had a positive effect for me personally. I have had back disks in my back for quit some time due to an injury when I was a kid and had to wear a back brace of sorts. Now I can just wear the corsets and not really have to be in mass amounts of pain. just an example, but like I said I have looked at all of my kinks/fetish before I do them/have done them. I do look for ways to up the anty but take it slow lol....

~Princess~

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/17/2013 3:44:10 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I think everyone has some wild fantasies that either they are too afraid to try out or they work well enough as just fantasies. Many extreme fantasies involve a type of catharsis, even if never realized.

I believe you should know what risks you take when engaging in some dangerous activities; it is a choice to do so and both partners should agree on that.

I have successfully lived out some fantasies that were amazing and some, not so much. I knew the risks ahead of time and chose to engage.

There are some fantasies, like being killed or amputations, etc. that are too extreme for my taste, but then again, some find rape fantasies too extreme.

I say if you come out of it with your health, emotions, brain, heart, soul and physical self intact, it was ok to try. If you don't try and keep them secrets, that is ok too.

(in reply to MasterTPrincess)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/17/2013 5:09:12 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

It's the Internet. No one is as slutty, or as bad-ass as they portray themselves to be.

I am sure my partner would say I am a lot sluttier than I portray myself to be.

OP,
I enjoy some extreme edge play.
I have always been a huge advocate of RACK.
Even if it is a new type of play.
I research it and if at all possible I TRY to pick brains or learn from someone who has experience with it.
An example is needle play.
I have NEVER done it.
I want to.
However, not only would I need to do a lot more research but I would want to speak to and watch people who have experience doing it to learn the proper ways.

If I do sessions with people, I always try to make them aware of what they are asking for.
The risk factors.
I know many people don't care or want to think about the risk.
Eh... that's ok but I am not playing with them. Lol

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/17/2013 8:40:31 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

I believe you are right, lizi. After researching many of the physical consequences of fetishes, toys, and scenings, I
would say a good 85-90 per cent of people I talk with have absolutely no clue of the dangers that could/have happened to people. That's why it's so important to check out things THOROUGHLY in order to keep your partner safe.

Safety involves much more than using condoms!

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I think a lot of people don't care much about research. It seems that even starting to think about consequences and possibilities is beyond some when they have deep emotional needs or powerful desires.

It seems that many people are motivated by what they want, and their world begins and ends there. Seems like powerful desires for certain things creates a kind of tunnel vision in people's sexual/emotional lives.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/17/2013 9:11:21 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

I believe you are right, lizi. After researching many of the physical consequences of fetishes, toys, and scenings, I
would say a good 85-90 per cent of people I talk with have absolutely no clue of the dangers that could/have happened to people. That's why it's so important to check out things THOROUGHLY in order to keep your partner safe.

Safety involves much more than using condoms!

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I think a lot of people don't care much about research. It seems that even starting to think about consequences and possibilities is beyond some when they have deep emotional needs or powerful desires.

It seems that many people are motivated by what they want, and their world begins and ends there. Seems like powerful desires for certain things creates a kind of tunnel vision in people's sexual/emotional lives.

Yes, and THIS is one reason why I caution some subs to be very careful when searching for a Dominant.

(in reply to EsotericLady)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/18/2013 7:50:08 PM

JackDarkster

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/6/2013
From: Northern Europe
Status: offline

I think in many cases it isn't so much that people don't bother to consider the possibility that they might not like in reality what they enjoy in fantasy, it's that it just doesn't occur to them that this could be the case. People assume that if they like something as a fantasy they'll naturally like it even more in reality.

As for safety with bacteria and transferring diseases, i.e., I agree with what the rest of you have said.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/18/2013 9:46:36 PM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

I think most read or watch BDSM and get excited from there and dont have a clue..believe me Ive done some one nite stand fantasy play in my day and it is crazy what a person does when they realize how helpless they really are and then realize what they said they WANT to happen while their bound. And thats only the ones that really showed up>

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/19/2013 10:24:54 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

It's the Internet. No one is as slutty, or as bad-ass as they portray themselves to be.

We're actually much, much worse

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/20/2013 12:42:14 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Speak for yourself!

I'm a saint.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/21/2013 12:23:27 AM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

Personally? I think there's an awfully lot of submissives in cyberland who think "watersports" has something to do with swimming pools,
and fin-Dommes are mermaids!

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/21/2013 3:39:06 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletViolence

I'm wondering if many subs do research into their kinks and figure out if they have any consequences, whether physical or mental. The more I read through many male sub profiles and get messages from them, the more I wonder if they've ever actually thought through the consequences of the type of play they're looking for. I don't browse female sub profiles, but I'm thinking some of them may have a similar problem. I understand that most of these people are really just living in fantasy and will never experience the things they dream about, but for me if I came across a scat video and was turned on by it, I know I'd still be wondering in the back of my head "Would I get sick from that? Whether right away or later from all the bacteria. Hmm, I wonder..." I mean, being curious is one thing, but stating outright that it's something you require in a relationship before you've ever even experienced it seems odd to me.

I can't speak for others, but I know that the things I fantasize about are not things I would do in real life. I like the idea of a being in restraints while some dominant really hurts me badly often permanently, yet at the same time I would never willingly put myself in that situation in real life. I think many are just posting their fantasies to elicit related discussions from like minded individuals and haven't really given any passing thought to whether this would really be appealing to to for real.

Oh and if I were to be chained up, and some lady decided to play scat or watersports while I was restrained I would be one very VERY angry sub

< Message edited by CougarRick -- 1/21/2013 3:40:48 PM >

(in reply to VioletViolence)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you understand the consequences ? - 1/24/2013 4:05:55 PM

SavageSilence

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/9/2012
Status: offline

I always do my research before I try anything and if I don't completly understand it or feel right with it I either don't think on it anymore or I go to my Master and Mistress and see what they know on it or if they had done it what could happen the good and the bad. I don't know why some do their homework and why some don't. I don't like the idea of having something go wrong and me get hurt or others get hurt.

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 40

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