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How did you get here... - 6/18/2006 9:43:56 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
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This could easily go in "Ask a Mistress" (Which I actually think it is now), "Ask a Master" (which it is most certainly not, but you're welcome and encouraged, and please...divulge), "Ask a sub" (which I didn't, but probably should have) and ultimately I'm now "ask(ing) just about anyone who feels like answering"...because...this is a question for everyone...Truly.

It doesn't fit any genre.

It fits you. Wherever you are. Whatever you are. Whoever you are. And it so happens it's in this particular section.

How did you get where you are? How did you become the (BDSM/SM/Alternate lifestyle)...YOU?

(You ARE a smidge different).

What are you, if that's even possible to classify. Where do you fit in?

Do you fit in? Does it bother you that you don't fit in ....if you do...are you glad that you do?

How do you fit in. What do you fit in to? Have you created your own place to fit in? Did that place exist prior to your arrival?

How did you get to the point wherein which you deemed yourself Dom / Domme / sub...what caused you to be the singular "you" that created that which you have become?

Have you thought about it...analyzed it...giving consideration that it was your Father, your Mother (was it either?), the way your cousin spoke to you in April of 1983 and that very specific thing he or she said to you that just flat out struck a note and BOING!!!!....that was the turning point for you, was it the guy down the street that said one thing to you that to anyone else would have seemed entirely innocuous...but for you, it was a lightbulb? A doorway?

How did you step over the line from the sweet little girl (or guy) that you were...the sub, male or female that you naturally gravitated towards...you were once something else...you were "normal" (whatever that is) and then, sometime later you became something other than...

At some point you decided you were different. At some point you made a decision to be other than..."them"...the rest of society..

You became you.

And you became everything that you are now...you became something quite radically other than "them"..

How did you transition from what everyone you cared about expected you to be....into what you are...and have become?

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 6/18/2006 9:52:59 PM >

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RE: How did you get here... - 6/19/2006 1:03:15 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Honestly, I have no idea how it started. I was very very young when I knew I had dominant tendencies. I was also playing in a lot more kinky way very early into my sexual activity. I have tried to analyze it. I grew up in a relatively normal family, I was never abused and had a happy childhood. I think, for me, it just was. It was part of my personality and something that naturally evolved.

Part of how I decided to pursue this lifestyle and educate myself and really hone my skills more formally was because I had the confidence to do so. I would have to thank the support of my family for that. No, they did not support me in D/s, they let me be able to be myself and have my own mind and instilled in me a sense of confidence that I could accomplish anything I wanted.

Yes, I fit in. I have a life and family and friends and a career. I don't wear my sexuality on my sleeve and do not care to. Everyone fits in or does not fit in to particular molds. I just happen to be happy in where I do fit in and don't care to fit in where I don't.

quote:

How did you transition from what everyone you cared about expected you to be....into what you are...and have become

What everyone I cared about expected me to be was healthy, happy, educated and successful with a loving family. I got that. I don't, however, go into the gory details of what I do in the bedroom with mom over tea and crumpets. But, if I did...I doubt she'd be too surprised.

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-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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RE: How did you get here... - 6/19/2006 4:03:42 AM

MistressTheaZ

Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

Hmm. Interesting question, LTRsubNW.

I suppose the defining moment probably came in My last long-term relationship. I saw then that french vanilla with a twist would never do, that BDSM was less something I just liked to 'do' and more a part of who I am and what I need to be happy in My personal life.

With regards to what I identify as, where I fit in, and if I am accepted, I can't say I really think too much about it. My family has known for years - they were not surprised, *snort* - and generally, My close friends know as well. I identify as a Dominant, even moreso as a sadomasochist, but the only person I seek to understand Me is the person I have a relationship with, honestly. My most recent playmate is a switch, and while this horrified several people I knew, (

), I consider it delicious fun pushing one another's boundaries within a dynamic that appears to work for us both. That said, it didn't lessen the teasing when I went to the local BDSM store I've been visiting for years to look at restraints...for Me. *laughing*

It's a given W/we all grow, evolve, challenge O/ourselves, think, feel and continue learning and living. The only one that needs to be happy with where you are and what you are is you. ;)

~Thea

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RE: How did you get here... - 6/20/2006 2:52:54 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

Wow...I thought there'd be a slightly larger response...this is a pretty big question....oh well.

(I have a lot more questions :)

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RE: How did you get here... - 6/20/2006 4:01:19 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

How did I get here? Actually it was very simple. I just clicked on the link and poof here I am.

Seriously, How and why I have no idea. Just know what I like.

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RE: How did you get here... - 6/20/2006 4:24:04 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

You might as well be asking people for their life story because that's the answer ultimately.

anthrosub

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"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

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