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Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 1:54:06 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I already used the search function and didn't come up w/ anything. Maybe I didn't search hard enough, but....

I know there's such a thing as Top drop, I've had it before, but can it happen the next day? I know sub drop can. My play partner & I played yesterday and, for some reason, today I feel inexplicably melancholy and "down." I thought and thought and couldn't come up with any other reason for feeling that way, so is Top drop a possibility the next day?

NBMG

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 2:13:35 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		I remember reading a thread on this, or it might have been a branch off of one on something else...but yes, I remember that posters chimed in to say that there was indeed a top drop.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 2:33:06 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		There sure is....

Physical energy from a scene can result in a "drop" soon after. You need to refresh and replenish etc - that's easy to understand.

But there's also a lot of mental & emotional energy expended, and often that takes longer to manifest. Or to even realise and acknowledge it's happened. Especially once you've been doing it for awhile (and/or you're getting older) and you're not running on adrenalin so much.

We all wear out.... lol

Focus.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 2:34:00 PM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		Googling ...

BDSM Lexicon Entry #17: Top Drop
http://dumbdomme.com/2012/04/bdsm-lexicon-entry-17-top-drop.html

quote:


top drop, n., /tɒp drɒp/ (IPA) [topdrop] (spelled)

Definition:

top drop: a dominant’s feelings of guilt, depression, panic and/or worry after dominating a submissive partner during BDSM activity.

Usage:

“After I fucked his ass and accidentally fell asleep on top of him, I had a bad case of top drop. It would have been way worse if I had fallen asleep mid-fuck.”

“After using J like my own personal fuck toy, stringing him up and turning him into an oral service marionette, and then working out all of my conflicting emotions with a paddle on the sweetest part of his ass, I cried like a bitch. I hope it’s top drop. Otherwise, I might suspect that I’m growing a heart.”

Explanation:

During BDSM play, both the dominant and submissive partner may experience feelings of euphoria caused by endorphin rush. After play is over, in addition to the drop in endorphins, the after-effects of power exchange, physicality, and emotional release during BDSM play may leave one or both partners feeling lost, sad, or anxious after play is over. Dominants may also experience feelings of guilt for having used and/or hurt their subs.

Does Dumb Domme Drop?:

OMG yes. I drop, hard. Sometimes I get all weird during “wind down” time with J. I feel sad and worried, and I know sometimes it manifests as standoffish and distant. It’s worse after he leaves–I get stuck in this godawful loop of holyfuck-what-did-I-just-do?

But honestly, holy fuck! What did I just do?

Dumb (Domme) Q & A:

Q: How do I avoid experiencing top drop?
A: Fuck again. Stat.

Q: How help my dominant partner avoid top drop?
A: Make her a sandwich. Then, offer her your ass. If that doesn’t work, you could always try telling her how much you “enjoyed” the beating, how perfectly spaced your marks are, how in the days to come, your butt-hurt will be a beautiful reminder of how well she owned your ass.

Q: I’m experiencing top drop right now! What do I do?
A: Vodka.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 2:36:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Hon, try again using My name as the author. You may also find it in a round about way under the key words "endorphin blessed" because I usually link the two. (Later drop since I have endorphin rush that can last for longer periods.)

To answer your more direct question, for Me, absolutely. If I can wake up the next morning still endorphin flooded, naturally, I take longer to hit drop. Both space and drop have to do with the flow of endorphins to the pleasure centers in the brain. A greater flow for space. Drop is actually the brain no longer being overstimulated by the chemical flow and really going back to normal. It just feels like down because you've been up for a while.

As you know, chemical flow isn't the same for everyone. For example, it's the lack of said endorphins that can cause some people to suffer depression and medications that stimulate the production of endorphins can help to alleviate that. It's also the very same premise that explains why some people hit space easily and some people never will. There's a reason that poppers were so common in BDSM clubs in certain past eras and other synthetics can duplicate the sensation.

Unfortunately, the closest that we BDSM folks get to scientific research on this subject is generally those studies related to runner's high. The cool part about this, for tops, is that space is not necessarily linked to physical exertion. It's easy to say that tops get space from an activity such as flogging or any other type of play that mimics an aerobic and/or cardio workout. It doesn't explain why tops get space from a type of play such as needles where there is very little physical activity on the top's part.

The whole subject of space and drop, the chemicals in the brain that help to create these conditions, the electronic impulses, and (My own personal theory of) pheromone relation are fascinating subjects. I hope this thread will lead to some very interesting discussion.



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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 5:59:50 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline 		Are those the same chemicals that make some people want to do more dangerous stunts looking for a thrill?

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 6:34:04 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone. LadyP, I will do another search as you said. ;)

NBMG

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 6:35:43 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

the closest that we BDSM folks get to scientific research on this subject is generally those studies related to runner's high


I get some sub drop effects immediately afterwards - impaired to drive, cold, etc., and lately have been noticing that when I play over the weekend I am melancholy on Thursdays, so this week I made a point of going to the gym, which helped - I did have a brief flash but nothing like the week before. Being able to put a name on it helps.

I bet cardio works for Ds too.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 6:50:58 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I did do another search as LadyP said and I found this thread. Thank you LadyP. So there is such a phenomenon and it can happen on the next day. Because yesterday I played and then this morning when I woke up it was the end of the world and I was depressed and all teary-eyed.

Now that most of the day's gone by, everything's pretty back to normal. Normally, I do aftercare & cuddling with him, but this time he had to hurry off. Could that have made the difference? Because this is the first time I've had Top drop and it's the first time there was no aftercare.

NBMG

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 7:08:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Tops need aftercare too. Try chocolate, it's not just for bottoms.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 7:18:16 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		That's funny, but I actually did have some chocolates tonight & now I feel better.

NBMG

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/12/2013 9:43:25 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Tops need aftercare too. Try chocolate, it's not just for bottoms.

Very true!! I've dropped 2-3 days later

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 4:20:01 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I don't believe that 'top drop' is a physical thing but an emotional one.
Up until now, no scientific studies have been done on this and so we can only speculate.
There is some good discussion going on here about the subject http://www.butch-femme.com/showthread.php?30570-Top-Drop-A-definition&s=ea28474b825ac2e4d5dd3aaadc8d51b9

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 4:46:03 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Tops need aftercare too. Try chocolate, it's not just for bottoms.

Very true!! I've dropped 2-3 days later

And also dropped for days on end.
Learning to recognize it for what it is is a super helpful tool, too.
I'll be down in the mouth, down on life, feeling uber nasty and then I'll realize, "Hey, this is Top Drop. What you're feeling is a lie and it'll pass soon."
That helps get me through the rough spots.
Which is good, cuz TD can be a lonely scary space

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 9:31:18 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Like Master said, he gets top drop pretty often after we play, especially when it's a fullblown, sadistic play. He gets top drop just as hard as I get sub drop so for us, we end up spending more time together afterwards and for a few days just cuddling, being close to each other, making sure there is a lot of touching and talking involved and I try to make sure he's getting everything he needs to make sure he doesn't crash too hard be it food or nourishment of another kind. Plus by doing that, it helps me with my subdrop as well. He sometimes dropped maybe a day or two later. It wasn't always right away with him.

Thankfully, since I moved here it's been much, much easier for us both. Now we don't have to worry about one of us having to leave and not being near each other to help each other. It was so much harder when we were apart. Our crashes were just really messy and harder on us both.

Top drop was a totally new thing to me when I met Master. None of my former doms or play partners ever got top drop. If they did, they never made it noticeable or told me or anything. They just seemed to go about their business afterwards and they never seemed to be off or different in any way. So when Master would get it, I was a little confused at first. I had never known anyone else to ever get it. Thankfully he made me aware of what it was and what he needed so it came easier for me to expect it and what to do.




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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 9:35:29 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

Are those the same chemicals that make some people want to do more dangerous stunts looking for a thrill?


Yup. It's the reason I would do thrill stuff when I was younger and even now, but now I do things in a safer way lol.

Those endorphins are about the only thing that kicks my depression. Unfortunately the crash afterwards makes my depression come back ten times as hard. UGH.

It's a win/lose circular situation lol


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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 10:34:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		While we don't have research specifically related to BDSM, what we do have is research related to other categories. One of those being exercise and another being sex. We also have research related to chocolate also releasing endorphins in women, so the deal about having some chocolate to deal with drop is scientifically accurate.

Unfortunately, nobody has conducted a study of brain activity after flogging.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 12:35:59 PM   
SirJ40


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline 		For myself, it's almost never the same day, almost always the day after, and even a couple of days out (depends on what I deal with emotionally in between).
However... it's almost always going to hit at some point.

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RE: Top Drop? - 1/13/2013 1:38:16 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Yeah, the drop totally shocked me. I've been Topping and a Domme for about a year now and this was the first time it ever hit me that I was aware of.

I'm bipolar and that's the first possible issue I thought of. But I'd just gotten my med levels checked recently and they were all cool and in just the right spot, so I knew that wasn't it. It really does feel like a mini-depression. But once I figured out what the heck it was, it was a lot easier to deal with and I was fine.

Now that it's the day after the day after, lol, I feel much better. Thank you everyone for helping me understand all this. *hugs*

NBMG

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