First time jitters!

First time jitters! (Full Version)

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Looking4uthe1 -> First time jitters! (1/13/2013 7:22:19 PM)
Hello, I'm Ashley. Although my screen name says I am new, I have been on this site for about a year under another name but recently deactivated that account so I formed a new one to ask a question. I recently met a Dom on this site and have been having amazing conversations and I feel we have a connection. He is local so we have decided to meet this week! I am beyond excited yet still can not help but be nervous. We have sent many photos to each other, talked on the phone, etc. I am not scared of him not being the real person, I am nervous about meeting someone from online in general. I have never done online dating or anything. We are meeting on neutral ground in a public place. I guess what I'm asking is does anyone have advice for first time jitters? Or maybe even a pep talk? I just feel this is a very vulnerable time. I mean, we could meet and it turns out he's not attracted to me or I'm not attractive to him and it crashes and burns. Advice anyone?

littlewonder -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 7:27:16 PM)
Remember he's just another person, just like you. Just relax and be yourself and breathe. and don't let your genitals do all the talking, unless that's what you're looking for.

DarkSteven -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 7:33:29 PM)
No pep talk. No advice. Because you don't need either one. You're only meeting a guy off the Internet. Things may work, but chances are they won't, so you're getting yourself worked up unnecessarily. Go in to enjoy yourself and meet some guy, and quit feeling like it's your life on the line.

theRose4U -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 8:27:23 PM)
Yes its entirely possible you will meet & go "eh he's ok" without the earth moving. This is just meeting a new person no more DO NOT follow him to a non public location or get in his car even "just for a second" there never was & never will be a submissive BJ test for admission. Take a few random turns going home to see if for some reason you were followed. Make sure someone knows you have "a meeting" at ___ & safe call

littlewonder -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 8:33:10 PM)
Have an "out" call...you know, girlfriend calls you...there's an "emergency" at home and you gotta go. [;)] [:D] Hey it works when some guys just don't take the hint or even direct words!

LafayetteLady -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 10:53:50 PM)
Have you ever had a blind date or been fixed up by a friend? This is really not all that different. You've already done the smart thing of meeting somewhere neutral and public. As littlewonder says, having a friend who will call you like 30 minutes into the meeting in case you need an "out" can work wonders (I've used it.). If there are no sparks, then simply be honest. Tell him it was lovely to meet him but you think you aren't compatible and move on. If he says this to you, thank him for his honesty and move on. Think of it as nothing more than a first date. Surely you have had those before, right? This is really not all that different.

seekingreality -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 11:01:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Looking4uthe1 Hello, I'm Ashley. Although my screen name says I am new, I have been on this site for about a year under another name but recently deactivated that account so I formed a new one to ask a question. I recently met a Dom on this site and have been having amazing conversations and I feel we have a connection. He is local so we have decided to meet this week! I am beyond excited yet still can not help but be nervous. We have sent many photos to each other, talked on the phone, etc. I am not scared of him not being the real person, I am nervous about meeting someone from online in general. I have never done online dating or anything. We are meeting on neutral ground in a public place. I guess what I'm asking is does anyone have advice for first time jitters? Or maybe even a pep talk? I just feel this is a very vulnerable time. I mean, we could meet and it turns out he's not attracted to me or I'm not attractive to him and it crashes and burns. Advice anyone? I have met literally hundreds of people off the Internet. My advice is: don't get too invested. I have had lots of occasions where people I chatted with online or talked with on the phone and we didn't click in person. Such is life. Just look at it as you're meeting someone and you'll see what happens.

FreeFromSin -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 11:20:09 PM)
Don’t worry. Bring a chaperone. My friend and old neighbor insisted when I had my first blind date from FetLife. He turned out to be lovely. We had a great time. I never did a second date because we had opposite fetishes and kinks. I met another from FetLife (he turned out to be dishonest type but I deciphered it right away). Had two dates with him. Got a lot of gifts from them. Then met two blind-dates from Collar Me. Both picked me up straight from my house. Had two blind-dates with each but again, they were dishonest on different parts of themselves. I realized I have a lot to offer and cannot accept just anybody. You do not know if you have chemistry until you meet in person.. It is nothing to fret over. Just trust your gut. Listen to your head. Do not continue dating if it isn't leading to a long-term, meaningful relationship or the connection isn't real. Be patient. Finding a love match is very difficult and painstakingly rare.

TenderTorment -> RE: First time jitters! (1/13/2013 11:56:03 PM)
Just relax and be yourself, if you two have been talking for a while then I'm assuming you already have some common ground, This is only a first face to face so keep it casual and light hearted, there is no obligation on either of you so just enjoy it for what it is. You have already agreed neutral ground and a public place, I would second the suggestion of a safe call, just for reassurance if nothing else. Good luck

TAFKAA -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 12:27:28 AM)
Herein, I present the mathematics of the match-up. There's roughly 3 billion men (give or take) on the planet. Of those, let's be conservative and say only one man in a thousand is just right for you. One man in a thousand! That's like .1 of a percent. That means there's 3 million men who are EXACTLY right for you. America has one twentieth of the world's population. Give or take. That means roughly 150,000 guys who are absolutely PERFECT for you. If we presume even distribution across 50 states (which there isn't but bear with me), then there's 3,000 guys in your state who are absolutely perfect for you. 3,000! You'll be tripping over the fuckers in no time. Alternatively, just take the population of your state and divide by two thousand. That's how many guys in your state are just perfect for you. So basically.... relax. Plenty of guys out there and if all else fails, you can just import one.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 1:31:11 AM)
A little bit of nerves can be a good thing. Embrace them. A first date is exciting. You've already thought about safety. Realistically the worse that will happen is that you won't get on well and it'll be a slightly awkward hour. That doesn't sound too bad, huh? On the other hand, the best that could happen is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. But 'don't get too invested' is always good advice when meeting someone online. It's so easy to build someone up in your mind and then be disappointed because you're not a good fit. Then again, I broke all the rules when I met my husband, so perhaps I shouldn't be giving advice.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 4:59:21 AM)
I'm about to break all the rules too; I'm thrilled to do it. OP, just like he is some guy off the internet, you are some girl off the internet. You sound like a lovely person, and it's just as possible that he is a wonderful man. Plan to enjoy yourself and enjoy the excitement you feel. If you don't feel fireworks the first date but like being with him, give it some time instead of writing it off. The most amazing chemistry can grow over time.

JeffBC -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 8:09:37 AM)
My advice is to get a grip on reality. You are already worrying about whether IT will "crash & burn". There is no IT yet. There's nothing except for some long distance communications. Neither of you love each other. Neither of you even know if you like each other more than "at a distance".

OsideGirl -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 8:19:33 AM)
Meet for coffee or similar. Do not have sex or play. Do not go anywhere near his car or get into it. Do not have an overtly sexual or BDSM-y conversation. Get to know each other as people rather than a sex partner. At the end of the meeting go home. Then decide if you actually like who that person is, before you agree to go out with them again.

Looking4uthe1 -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 10:58:11 AM)
Thank you, thank you! I really appreciate all the positive advice and tips! I will definitely have a friend call and check on me! Great idea! And don't worry, I'm not putting all my eggs in this one basket. Just needed some help to make it through the first time. I will treat it as a first blind date. I can't help but be excited, even if I just gain a new platonic friend. Thank you so much!

Delilya -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 11:52:46 AM)
Best of luck OP, you'll do fine.

DrakLuna -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 1:05:29 PM)
Just make up a pack of raving lies like 99% on this site, if you havent already Failing that before you meet him ask for his home telephone number (don't give him yours) Take it from there meet somewhere public and not in his cellar

littlewonder -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 1:06:19 PM)
[8\|]

Hillwilliam -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 1:06:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DrakLuna Just make up a pack of raving lies like 99% on this site, if you havent already Failing that before you meet him ask for his home telephone number (don't give him yours) Take it from there meet somewhere public and not in his cellar butbutbut I have CANDY in my cellar. For REALS.

mnottertail -> RE: First time jitters! (1/14/2013 1:18:05 PM)
Do not stab him in the eye with a fork. After that, everything will be ok.

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