RE: private vs. public

RE: private vs. public (Full Version)

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peterK50 -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 9:55:49 AM)
When I was in public with my Owner I was expected to be on my best behavior. If I messed up it was the reaction I got from my parents when I was a boy, "Just wait until I get you home!"

MistressSassy66 -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 11:45:05 AM)
I have to post again after going to a PRIDE parade and there were plenty of Leather and BDSM types there.Its also a family thing with a festival to celebrate Diversity. I took bishop on her kitty collar and leash.Sometimes I held it,other times I drapped it across the back of her neck.I actually had an 8 year old say W/we looked so cute today,while I was walking bishop. Its all in how its presented on how others will view it and accept it...her moms reaction...smiling away,proud her daughter can accept all types.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 12:09:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 Its all in how its presented on how others will view it and accept it...her moms reaction...smiling away,proud her daughter can accept all types. And that's exactly how I see it. It builds tolerance and a respect for diversity. It shows that human beings are not all wired to love in exactly the way society once thought we should.

LordDominik -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 1:49:10 PM)
No I can't say that I would treat a sub any different. However, I wouldn't say I would treat her with a strong BDSM overtone while we are in private. ~ LD

Noah -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 5:01:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear One other difference lass is that you are I believe refering to a D/s Dominant which is a completely different kettle of fish from my being a Gorean Master. Were I visiting your neck of the woods protocol rather than the law would dictate what I did. that protocol had naught to do with the lifestyles but to to with not upsetting the those who are the onkly ones who can command my immediate obedience... Oh cripes. Someone take the shovel away from this guy before he pops up in North America. The rugged individualist who lives his life according to Quotations From A Third Rate Novelist You go on at length about how the law is your only constraint, then inform us that the law is neither here nor there. Is abandonment of logical consistency a core principle of that imaginary planet you inhabit? You know, don't you bear, what reasonable people usually conclude about the in-pants weaponry of men who feel the need to wear two guns outside their trousers? But of course you have indicated that you don't care what reasonable people think. You're different. Do you ever wonder how they do it? The source of the power which lets all those other guys find their way through the challenges of a day without wearing their gun(s)? What do they know that has eluded you so completely? I still enjoy shooting sports but think I was about ... six ... the last time I choose to strap on the six-shooters and head into town. Along the same lines, do you wonder what they use to make their points in writing at those junctures when you can find no more effective way to press your case than capitalization and bolding text? Show of hands among the subs? How many would prefer to get that special feeling from a dominant somehow with the help of props and cliches and the derision of his neighbors and rules he got out of some fanciful book manages eventually to get you there (but for all his domliness somehow happens to be flying solo again?) Thanks. And how many would like a partner who could do it with imagination, style and grace? Oh I don't expect to teach any pigs to sing, here. I just happen to think that masturbatory displays are special, and best shared with intimates rather than squandered on the unenlightened public who, you know, tend to take them for jerking off.

Noah -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 5:16:39 PM)
quote: And that's exactly how I see it. It builds tolerance and a respect for diversity. You know, here in the US, Rugby doesn't get a lot of respect. Rugby players are treated as distinctly second class by the run-of-the-mill sports fan who prefers basketball, baseball, etc. Do you suppose it would build tolerance and respect for sports diversity if all of our under-appreciated rugby players started staging impromptu non-consensual scrums with whomever else happened to be waiting for a table in the same restaurant this evening?

TolerableCruelty -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 5:27:48 PM)
quote: You know, don't you bear, what reasonable people usually conclude about the in-pants weaponry of men who feel the need to wear two guns outside their trousers? I know how they usually react.... They usually back off in fear of the unknown. Because those that that view them in person, really don't know if they'll get shot down or get a wave when they spew their lack of tolerance for those that actually choose to wear the guns to town. Of course.... Goreans expect that when We come to town. T.R. ~not your average Gorean~

jeffanddee -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 5:49:24 PM)
Dee and I usually like to use public appearances part of our sub's training. We go over a laundry list of rules to follow that forces the sub to act a certain way, keep their eyes focused on one of us or the floor, speak a certain way, or other subtle things that the "public" would not notice, but the sub is VERY aware of. Many times our sub will tell us that being in public is harder than being in private with all the distractions. We are very animated when we talk to people and do not let our sub interact. This can drive them crazy at a party or social event. When our sub begins to misbehave, we just look and say "that's one, two, etc" and making them anticipate the punishment later in private (which is usually greater than normal). If, however, they really get out of control, we take them to a private area and exact swift and strong punishment right there. We try and make this private with a hint of "public possibility". Does anyone have any ideas of some discrete "public" punishment that would not tip anyone else off?

IronBear -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 9:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Noah quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear One other difference lass is that you are I believe refering to a D/s Dominant which is a completely different kettle of fish from my being a Gorean Master. Were I visiting your neck of the woods protocol rather than the law would dictate what I did. that protocol had naught to do with the lifestyles but to to with not upsetting the those who are the onkly ones who can command my immediate obedience... Oh cripes. Someone take the shovel away from this guy before he pops up in North America. The rugged individualist who lives his life according to Quotations From A Third Rate Novelist You go on at length about how the law is your only constraint, then inform us that the law is neither here nor there. Is abandonment of logical consistency a core principle of that imaginary planet you inhabit? You know, don't you bear, what reasonable people usually conclude about the in-pants weaponry of men who feel the need to wear two guns outside their trousers? But of course you have indicated that you don't care what reasonable people think. You're different. Do you ever wonder how they do it? The source of the power which lets all those other guys find their way through the challenges of a day without wearing their gun(s)? What do they know that has eluded you so completely? I still enjoy shooting sports but think I was about ... six ... the last time I choose to strap on the six-shooters and head into town. Along the same lines, do you wonder what they use to make their points in writing at those junctures when you can find no more effective way to press your case than capitalization and bolding text? Show of hands among the subs? How many would prefer to get that special feeling from a dominant somehow with the help of props and cliches and the derision of his neighbors and rules he got out of some fanciful book manages eventually to get you there (but for all his domliness somehow happens to be flying solo again?) Thanks. And how many would like a partner who could do it with imagination, style and grace? Oh I don't expect to teach any pigs to sing, here. I just happen to think that masturbatory displays are special, and best shared with intimates rather than squandered on the unenlightened public who, you know, tend to take them for jerking off. To start with Noah, The principlesw I live y were around far before the modern era and even before the US was discovered.. All you have done is to demonstrate you ignorance about the Gorean Lifestyle, which was not under dioscussion here. Me carying guns? Well thst is just a matter of law. Under the Security laws here I was upo to a few years ago required to be armed 24/7. Now in my advanced age, I may do so if I choose to but I am required to have a ASF weapons bag at home or in the car with me which includes fully auto weapons, stun and frag grenades. I have no choice on that matter... Take away my shovel? Wouldn't matter mate I also have a current Passport allowing me to enter the US at will.. You adversity to me seems to come from my distane for many other aspects of society which I see as weak. remember that all laws and peace are founded on the show and preparedness to use violence.. So whilst you choose to rub your rubbery dick against people you can fawn remember that there are alsways people like me who will, can and do stand the line which is between you and your destruction or serious hurt.... Your arguments are as weak as thoe of a toothles granny. My suggestion to you would be to keep your teeth together and go back to work..... You can run and hide all you want but the Old Father has woven your life into the tabestry of time and you will finish this life when it is time to do so and nothing you can do or no amount of whining will alter that.... Regarding any social graces I may or may not have.. I wopuld immagine that if mine were so far out of line I'd never get the regular invitatuions to State Functions both here and in the UK but that too is so far out of your ken I'll forgive your lack of knowledge.. Ask all the subs you want. I dont deal with sub excep socially I look for slaves from a collar perspective. Perhaps you should know more about an adverary before you open up with broardsides at those who don't fit into your medocre perspective...

maybemaybenot -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 9:33:37 PM)
quote: IronBear: Take away my shovel? Wouldn't mater mate I also have a current Passport allowing me to enter the US at will.. You start digging in OZ, and I will start digging here, IB. We'll meet half way. There are plenty of us here who would open our hearts and homes to this "rugged individualist who lives his life according to Quotations From A Third Rate Novelist ". mbmbn

Wulfchyld -> RE: private vs. public (6/24/2006 9:35:50 PM)
I'm right behind ya MBMBN with the mead.

justheather -> RE: private vs. public (6/25/2006 3:16:34 PM)
My dominant and I have not participated in public play or overt displays of our dynamic in public. I never stopped to think about whether this was because he does not feel the need to make gestures of his dominance in public or whether such displays simply don't fit the aesthetic of our kink. I suspect it has something to do with both. I have sat at his feet at private gatherings with friends who know about and understand our dynamic. I have discreetly asked his permission to use bathroom facilities at the house of a friend or colleague. I have not-so-discreetly, at his command, jumped out of a hottub and rolled around in the snow on the private land of in and in the presence of a friend. I have walked in various stages of undress down certain remote country roads. These types of interactions take our dynamic outside our personal living space and expand it a bit further into the world, but then again so does grocery shopping together. He has, on certain occasions, instructed me to do something very subtle such as go to the restroom and remove my bra, or unbutton several (more than I would ever feel comfortable unbuttoning) buttons down the front of my dress and remain that way for the duration of our time in a particular establishment. In any of these situations, he does absolutely nothing to "call attention" to us or our dynamic, but I suddenly feel as though every eye in the place is on me and my "exposure", suddenly feel every wisp of air resulting from someone walking by our table, suddenly get caught up in that heady, perfumy, thick-aired kind of divine space without him so much as lifting a finger. In reality, I would guess that nobody in the room but us has a clue what has happened. In my opinion, this type of dominance not only carries with it a certain degree of dignity and class but reflects a particularly attractive quality that is not dissimilar to what most people call "confidence". He does not have to show anyone that I am his. We both know I am his and through his subtle exercise of control over me in public, without anyone else having to be the wiser, he manages to reinforce this truism while giving me a little exhibitionistic buzz to boot. My opinion is that in these types of scenarios, when carefully and masterfully executed, public exertion of dominance can be sublime. (Edited to add that I used quick reply...this is a response to the topic at large...)

Caretakr -> RE: private vs. public (6/25/2006 3:25:27 PM)
I respect the public, so that they will feel no need to restrict what I do in private.

marieToo -> RE: private vs. public (6/25/2006 3:43:03 PM)
General reply: There are just certain displays/behaviors that are not acceptable/tactful in public society-- vanilla, bdsm or anything else in between.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: private vs. public (6/25/2006 5:16:12 PM)
I love heathers responce.

justheather -> RE: private vs. public (6/26/2006 5:59:11 AM)
Please excuse me, this post was in error.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: private vs. public (6/26/2006 9:45:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo General reply: There are just certain displays/behaviors that are not acceptable/tactful in public society-- vanilla, bdsm or anything else in between. It would depend on what public society you were in. Nudist camp for example.Festival supporting Diversity,even the town you live in and how well they accept things. My area is very Gay and Lesbian friendly,so its nothing to see men, hand and in hand.Or Women doing the same thing. Go to some other town and you would get stared at.

MasterCurios -> RE: private vs. public (6/26/2006 8:45:04 PM)
the only time i tone it down is when her kids are with us she still calls me Master and still follows protocol but i allow her leeway as to deal with the kids

marieToo -> RE: private vs. public (6/26/2006 11:44:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo General reply: There are just certain displays/behaviors that are not acceptable/tactful in public society-- vanilla, bdsm or anything else in between. It would depend on what public society you were in. Nudist camp for example.Festival supporting Diversity,even the town you live in and how well they accept things. My area is very Gay and Lesbian friendly,so its nothing to see men, hand and in hand.Or Women doing the same thing. Go to some other town and you would get stared at. Nudist camps and gay festivals are particular places or events where those types of various displays are accepable in those particular situations or 'arenas'. My comment spoke to general public society where there isnt a gay parade or a nudist colony etc. I mean walking through a public park, down a public street, through a shopping mall, etc. There are just certain things that are going to get stared at. What is and isnt appropriate, remains, of course, in the eyes of the individuals.

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