Casteele
Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline
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FR:
I'll be.. ermm.. Brutally Honest with my reply here.. and forgive any randomness in my thought patterns, as my mind tends to go down two dozen paths at once.. :P
When I read the original first post.. My first thot was.. It's time to skin this one alive! Why?
Let's rephrase it a little..
"Why do people have to be so vile, so low, so horrible? Why can't they all be so saintly and perfect, like me!? Why can't they all bow down to, and live by the standards and rules I set, which are so clearly superior?"
People have their own reasons for they things they say and how they act. And frankly, I believe we, as humans, tend to be very quick to judge them harshly, claiming some kind of higher and suprior standard.. Only to find most of the time, when we truly look within outselves and be.. again.. brutally honest with ourselves, we find that the very things we so often despise seeing in others, are things we secretly see and despise within ourselves. But we often justify it within ourselves by claiming we have some valid and legit reason for it, while that other person does not.
The OP clarified that they're often called abrasive, but they veiw it as just being brutally honest. That's a justification. There is such a thing, for example, as tact, which does not require one to "sugar coat" things, but does not require one to go out of their way to emotionally harm another by forcing them to "face the obvious truth", either.
Likewise, there are LOTS of people who.. well.. have a strong desire to serve and to please, on a site like this. I think we have a term for them, but I cannot think of it at the moment.. o.O
Does that make them insincere scumbags when they strive to serve and please, rather than say "get your own damned drink; you have two arms and two legs, you lazy fatass!"?
Other things to consider are *why* a person acts or responds in a certain way in certain situations. People tend to learn to do things which seem to bring about pleasurable outcomes, and avoid things which seem to bring about undesired outcomes (even maso's.. their definition of pleasure and pain is just different than others). People who have been called "fatass" all their lives and have a negative, averse reaction to it, tend to not use the term towards others, no matter how true or apt it may be. And I tend to be of the belief that running around calling everyone with an obesity problem "fatass" is not "brutally honest", but "scumsucking douchebaggery". Yet I know plenty of people who gather in small groups and run around doing just that, and justify themselves with lines like "Hey, I'm just calling a 'spade' a 'spade'!"
I honestly believe the key here, both on this topic, and especially in this "lifestyle" overall, is.. Tolerance. Which, BTW, is NOT to be confused with agreement, acceptance, et cetera. It does not even mean not passing judgement--We all pass various judgements in our lives, every day. It merely means things like, being forgiving of flaws in others; not like we don't have many of our own flaws we hope others will be forgiving of in ourselves. And if you cannot be forgiving, at least try to be understanding (likewise, "understanding" doesn't mean acceptance, et cetera); there is probably some reason why the person is saying and acting in the manner that they are, even if we do not kow what that reason is, or worse, jump to conclusions. IE: "he just wants to get in to my pants"--I once worked with a girl that, very loudly and insultingly, about a guy that the rest of us knew for certain was completely homosexual. We all laughed when he replied "You're right, my ass would look better in those pants than yours does!"
Just some [random] food for thought.
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RE: Actions vs words... - 
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