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timeoutgurlie -> RE: How have you dealt with a vanilla you like? (6/19/2006 7:27:35 PM)
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Only having 2 relationships in my lifetime, my advice may not hold much weight, but here it is anyhow [:D]
With my first, it began as a way to spice up a 'sex life' that didn't include intercourse; light bondage, spanking, talking dirty etc. All the stuff that's 'vanilla' but a lil kinky. It progressed after time when we both realized we enjoyed it, but was always a sexual thing, it never got to the point of being an actual 'relationship dynamic' - it was just to make the sexual side more fun and less boring. It happened naturally and stopped naturally at a certain point. He knew I would've liked it to be more than it was, but he didn't want the same and I respected that of course, so we eventually parted ways and then I met my 2nd & current.
With the current, we both want the same things, but didn't know it immediately. We met in a 'vanilla' setting,s o it only came out after some joking innuende that later turned into serious coversation. He'd never experienced this, had just fantasized about it and never met a girl who was liek minded, so we're now exploring and having a fabulous time.
The point: You won't know until you talk about it. Realistically, you'd talk about anything with someone you felt had potential, right? You've discussed other things that are important and significant in your lives, or else you wouldn't know there's compatibility and potential to begin with, so why hold back on this? Have you talked about feelings on marriage? Children? These things scare the crap out of people too you know lol [:D]
Sure, you don't necessarilly want to ask this sort of thing on the first date (personally, I would, I like to probe as much as possible so as to not waste my time) but surely after you've spent this much time together and talked about so many other things, it's not too soon to bring this up. You owe it to yourself to not waste your time, and frankly, you owe it to him too so you don't waste his; if he happens to not be able to handle this in his life, he deserves to know it sooner than later.
Best luck [:D]
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