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Fightdirecto -> The Distress Of The Privileged (1/16/2013 1:13:52 PM)
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A rather long article. To read it in it's entirety, click The Distress Of The Privileged
quote:
In a memorable scene from the 1998 film Pleasantville (in which two 1998 teen-agers are transported into the black-and-white world of a 1950s TV show), the father of the TV-perfect Parker family returns from work and says the magic words “Honey, I’m home!”, expecting them to conjure up a smiling wife, adorable children, and dinner on the table.
This time, though, it doesn’t work. No wife, no kids, no food. Confused, he repeats the invocation, as if he must have said it wrong. After searching the house, he wanders out into the rain and plaintively questions this strangely malfunctioning Universe: “Where’s my dinner?”
As the culture evolves, people who benefitted from the old ways invariably see themselves as victims of change. The world used to fit them like a glove, but it no longer does. Increasingly, they find themselves in unfamiliar situations that feel unfair or even unsafe. Their concerns used to take center stage, but now they must compete with the formerly invisible concerns of others.
If you are one of the newly-visible others, this all sounds whiny compared to the problems you face every day. It’s tempting to blast through such privileged resistance with anger and insult.
Tempting, but also, I think, a mistake. The privileged are still privileged enough to foment a counter-revolution, if their frustrated sense of entitlement hardens.
So I think it’s worthwhile to spend a minute or two looking at the world from George Parker’s point of view: HE’S A GOOD 1950S TV FATHER. HE NEVER SET OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY. HE NEVER MEANT TO STIFLE HIS WIFE’S HUMANITY OR ENFORCE A DULL CONFORMITY ON HIS KIDS. NOBODY EVER ASKED HIM WHETHER THE WORLD SHOULD BE BLACK-AND-WHITE; IT JUST WAS.
GEORGE NEVER DEMANDED A PRIVILEGED ROLE, HE JUST UNCRITICALLY ACCEPTED THE ROLE SOCIETY ASSIGNED HIM AND PLAYED IT TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. AND NOW SUDDENLY THAT SOCIETY ISN’T WORKING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES, AND THEY’RE BLAMING HIM.
IT SEEMS SO UNFAIR. HE DOESN’T WANT ANYBODY TO BE UNHAPPY. HE JUST WANTS DINNER.
But even as we accept the reality of George’s privileged-white-male distress, we need to hold on to the understanding that the less privileged citizens of Pleasantville are distressed in an entirely different way.
George deserves compassion, but his until-recently-ideal housewife Betty Parker (and the other characters assigned subservient roles) deserves justice. George and Betty’s claims are not equivalent, and if we treat them the same way, we do Betty an injustice.
GEORGE SEES HIMSELF AS THE VICTIM OF BIGOTRY. HE ISN’T AWARE OF HATING ANYBODY. HE JUST WANTS TO PRESERVE THE WORLD HE GREW UP IN, AND CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO PICTURE HOW OTHERS SUFFER IN THAT WORLD.
HE JUST WANTS DINNER....
SUPREMACY ITSELF ISN’T HATE. YOU MAY EVEN HAVE AFFECTION FOR THE PERSON YOU FEEL SUPERIOR TO. BUT SUPREMACY CONTAINS THE SEEDS OF HATE.
SUPREMACY TURNS TO HATE WHEN THE FEELING OF INNATE SUPERIORITY IS OPENLY CHALLENGED... SUPREMACY IS WHY SOME EVANGELICAL FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS HAVE MORE OUTRAGE AT THEIR OWN INCONVENIENCE THAN AT THE LEGITIMATE OPPRESSION OF OTHERS.
All his life, George has tried to be a good guy by the lights of his society. But society has changed and he hasn’t, so he isn’t seen as a good guy any more. He feels terrible about that, but what can he do?
One possibility: Maybe he could learn to be a good guy by the lights of this new society. It would be hard. He’d have to give up some of his privileges. He’d have to examine his habits to see which ones embody assumptions of supremacy. He’d have to learn how to see the world through the eyes of others, rather than just assume that they will play their designated social roles. Early on, he would probably make a lot of mistakes and his former inferiors would correct him. It would be embarrassing.
But there is an alternative: counter-revolution. George could decide that his habits, his expectations, and the society they fit are RIGHT, and this new society is WRONG. If he joined with the other fathers (and right-thinking mothers) of Pleasantville, maybe they could force everyone else back into their traditional roles.
Which choice he makes will depend largely on the other characters. If they aren’t firm in their convictions, the counter-revolution may seem easy. (“There, there, honey. I know you’re upset. But be reasonable.”) But if their resentment is implacable, becoming a good guy in the new world may seem impossible.
Only the middle path - firmness together with understanding - has a chance to tame George and bring him back into society on new terms.
ONCE YOU GRASP THE CONCEPT OF “PRIVILEGED DISTRESS”, YOU’LL SEE IT EVERYWHERE: THE RICH FEEL “PUNISHED” BY TAXES; WHITES BELIEVE THEY ARE THE REAL VICTIMS OF RACISM; EMPLOYERS’ RELIGIOUS FREEDOM IS THREATENED WHEN THEY CAN’T DENY CONTRACEPTION TO THEIR EMPLOYEES, EVANGELICAL FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS FEEL THEY ARE BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST WHEN THEIR CHILD’S SCIENCE TEACHER TALKS ABOUT DARWIN’S THEORY OF EVOLUTION IN BIOLOGY CLASS; ENGLISH-SPEAKERS RESENT BILINGUALISM - IT GOES ON AND ON.
AND WHAT IS THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT OTHER THAN A COUNTER-REVOLUTION? IT COMES CLOAKED IN RELIGION AND FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY, BUT SCRATCH THE SURFACE AND YOU’LL FIND PRIVILEGED DISTRESS: CHANGE HAS TAKEN SOMETHING FROM US AND WE WANT IT BACK.
Confronting this distress is tricky, because neither acceptance nor rejection is quite right. The distress is usually very real, so rejecting it outright just marks you as closed-minded and unsympathetic. It never works to ask others for empathy without offering it back to them.
At the same time, my sunburn can’t be allowed to compete on equal terms with your heart attack. To me, it may seem fair to flip a coin for the first available ambulance, but it really isn’t. Don’t try to tell me my burn doesn’t hurt, but don’t consent to the coin-flip.
Acknowledging the distress while continuing to point out the difference in scale is as good an approach as I’ve seen. ULTIMATELY, THE PRIVILEGED NEED TO BE WON OVER. THEIR SENSE OF JUSTICE NEEDS TO BE ENGAGED RATHER THAN BEATEN DOWN. THE ONES WHO STILL WANT TO BE GOOD PEOPLE NEED TO BE OFFERED HOPE THAT SUCH AN OUTCOME IS POSSIBLE IN THIS NEW WORLD.
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