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JackDarkster -> RE: Saw this on the other side~Interesting ? (2/13/2013 3:19:50 PM)
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC
quote:
ORIGINAL: JackDarkster
This is actually the only part I disagree with, though perhaps this list is more of a warning list than a list of advice. Still, we can't deny the dangers and risks are real. I think it's a good list for a newcomer sub to the scene.
Oh I sure as hell CAN deny they are "real". I'll tell you what I read there. It is FAR, FAR from some sort of reasoned sociological research paper (eg: "real"). Rather, it is a bunch of made up bullshit spackled in monkey feces. Such lists... and the white knights who love to wield them like excalibur of old... are one of the biggest things I need to protect Carol against in terms of the BDSM community. I like it that she thinks like a mature, competent adult now. I don't want people to train her to be a victim. As it sits, Carol would be able to schedule a coffee meeting with some stranger without 4 safe calls and a sniper on the roof.
I think you misunderstood the purpose of the 'article'. As I read it, it wasn't mean to be sociological or based on empirical research. It also wasn't meant to be a training for anyone, but a "Be damned safe when you're new to the scene!" kind of warning. To me the pink font also suggests it was targeted at young female subs more than any other group, and no matter how much you 'can deny they are real' (which they may indeed not be in YOUR company), I happen to know of cases where they were very real (though NOT in my company either, hehe).
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC]And while we're at it... in all of this protection racket stuff... where's the worrying about the poor doms? If this were actually real then it'd be looking at real human behavior. And female subs have been known to do some pretty freaky shit too in the real world. Ask yourself why such lists are always, always targeted at female submissives.
There's no arguing against that. I've actually been there too, but again (as I read it), this article was not targeted at us, it was targeted at inexperienced subs new and about to enter the scene in the form of obscure dating with people they 'met' via a classifieds website, i.e. - Of course, I could be wrong, only the author knows for sure, and perhaps that is one thing that was missing from the article: Clarity as to what type of public they really were addressing.
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC]The bottom line from my standpoint is that any submissive female who had actually read and not laughed at such a list is pretty much doomed to never meet any guy like me.
That doesn't make sense, Jeff. Any sub entering the BDSM scene can happen upon that article, and it's not possible to say who will be scared away from even trying and who will trust their own common sense, not to mention those who really have a love for this life-/sex-style won't be scared off that easily.
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC]For the sake of this discussion I'll define "like me" to mean "honorable", "dominant", and "self-confident". Here's the deal... I kind of expect to meet someone on more or less even footing.
You cannot just expect that everyone you meet will have your good down-to-earth common sense and certainty about themselves. The closest you can get is to do a good job of getting to know them somewhat before you go out and meet them.
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC]I do not expect to be seen as a predatory abuser from the first moment we hook up.
Those I spoke to, who met a predatory abuser, did also not expect it.
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC]I do not expect to have to deal with miles of concertina wire and minefields wrapped in concentric circles "protecting" her heart. I'd take one look at that and simply walk away. I want someone who is actually ready to have a relationship. Oh... and if I were looking for a sub I'd be hoping she was sort of "submissive" somewhere in her personality.
Now THIS I can whole heartedly agree with. :)
Ps. My apologies for the late response.
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