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Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 2:42:26 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		How many cm users really base their choice of partners on looks? I have dated some women who were of the "pretty" people classification and found them to be usually stuck on looks, clothes, shoes, and the proper accessories.

I appreciate physical beauty, but cant tolerate some of the personality traits that go with it.

Opinions?

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 3:32:28 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		My late dom was an "old coot". When we met he was wearing an ombre red to black polyester shirt and glasses from the 70's. He was the classic thinning on top and pony tail older man. My first impulse was to leave without saying anything.

My second was to stay and talk to him. And short story - i moved in with him two weeks later. He was interesting, educated and very knowledgable about bdsm. We had a fabulous life, and i was happier than i thought i could be.

and i "lost" the ombre shirt, and talked him into new glasses. lol.

Surperficial things can be changed, but the core of the man was impressive.


My Sweetie is more of a middle of the road guy. He looks like such a nice guy - even when he is giggling at my yipping when he plays with me. He isn't fantastically handsome, but he is fun, intelligent and easy on the eye.


so , for me, looks aren't all that important. The brain is my indication of wheither we will last as a couple.

(in reply to jlf1961)
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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 3:42:15 PM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I don't.. personality is a stronger point to me than the physical, if I can't stand to talk or be with them, their looks are completely useless to me... I have met several people without ever seeing a pic of them...  besides looks can change in the blink of an eye, you could be in a disfiguring accident at any time..

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 3:50:17 PM   
TenderTorment


Posts: 304
Joined: 12/30/2012
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I did in my youth when I was at the behest of little me (if you catch my drift)

Nowadays I place far more significance in personality and compatibility. Substance will live forever, looks change/fade.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:08:27 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

How many cm users really base their choice of partners on looks?

I don't. Looks will only get a person so far. Personality will last where looks will fade over time. I've pretty much always thought that way.

When I met my submissive in person, we had been corresponding for several months before then, as we lived in different states. I had seen pictures of him but, when we met, I suddenly realized that his pictures didn't do him justice. He's a total fox!! To me at least. But it was his personality that caught me. His great looks are just "gravy."

NBMG

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:26:02 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I absolutely do. It's my first filter. I have to be physically attracted to someone.
And then I focus in on their personality from the group that I find good looking.
Why does it have to be a choice of one or the other?
Why do people think that one can't find someone amazingly fantastic in their personality who they also think is gorgeous.
I would never settle for less.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:33:24 PM   
whantsonlyu


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/17/2012
Status: offline 		Looks aren't everything. I value his personality, and him as a person. Good looks are just icing on the top.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:51:54 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I must admit, I do.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:52:15 PM   
littleone14


Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline 		I have to find them physically attractive, but that doesn't mean they have to fit someone else's standard of attractive.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 4:59:31 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Looks matter, in that I wouldn't form a relationship with someone I wasn't attracted to, but I'm as strongly interested in the heart, mind, and funny bone. I've been lucky, as I'm an ordinary looking guy, but I've had some pretty women care for me.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 5:39:24 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

How many cm users really base their choice of partners on looks? I have dated some women who were of the "pretty" people classification and found them to be usually stuck on looks, clothes, shoes, and the proper accessories.

I appreciate physical beauty, but cant tolerate some of the personality traits that go with it.

Opinions?



I do....at first. When I first saw Master at the coffeeshop before I knew it was him the first thought that went through my head was "ooohh...that guy is hot! If this guy is ugly and boring or doesn't show up, I'm going home with THAT man!". Yessiree, I absolutely thought that. Thankfully it looks like I did leave with that man after all.



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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 5:40:44 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		I'm not generally physically attracted to men I don't know, no matter how pretty (pretty is as pretty does, but that's for the "old adage" thread).
If his personality and intelligence catch hold of me, then I am inclined to be attracted to him, but that is rare for me to find. Like others have said, looks change over time, but intelligence and character usually don't.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/19/2013 5:41:07 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

and i "lost" the ombre shirt, and talked him into new glasses. lol.


A similar thing happened to my collection of Hawaiian shirts when I was with a past SO. hmmmmm now I wonder.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 3:41:35 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

How many cm users really base their choice of partners on looks? I have dated some women who were of the "pretty" people classification and found them to be usually stuck on looks, clothes, shoes, and the proper accessories.

I appreciate physical beauty, but cant tolerate some of the personality traits that go with it.

Opinions?



I do....at first. When I first saw Master at the coffeeshop before I knew it was him the first thought that went through my head was "ooohh...that guy is hot! If this guy is ugly and boring or doesn't show up, I'm going home with THAT man!". Yessiree, I absolutely thought that. Thankfully it looks like I did leave with that man after all.




Aww that is cool how things work out. :)


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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 6:21:45 AM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

How many cm users really base their choice of partners on looks?

Well, I do... why would I approach a woman in the first place if I didn't find her attractive? On the other hand, a buddy of mine used to refer to my college girlfriend, who was the prettiest damn thing in the world to me, as "that little runt". So, go figure.

K.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 6:23:08 AM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		Appearance is the first filter. Much of that is a nod to commonality socially, professionally, physically, intellectually, emotionally... the list goes on. I see a hard gym body and I already know we have one thing in common. Likewise a suit and tie.

Personality traits associated with physical beauty? That is a pretty gross generalization. The very same could be said about personality traits for those who don't fit the physical beauty standard.


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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 7:06:40 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think everyone wants someone who is good looking.

Since that is in the eye of the beholder, it is totally subjective.

I have been with men who I was not attracted to immediately and later on, thought they were totally hot.

I have also been with men who looked like male models and they were idiots.

Personality and how they make me feel influences how I see a man.

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 7:11:25 AM   
MissBlueangel


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline 		The first time I met R I came home and told my friends he reminded me of the "Honey Monster". To those that dont know...not a great look in a partner. A year down the line we are still together and I think he is a stud muffin :)

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 7:50:29 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		it really depends on what basis i'm looking at this person for. if it's a relationship then looks arn't as important as they used to be. if it's just sex then looks are everything. i have to have some attraction to the guy if personality isn't going to factor.

my ex is not good looking, but he certainly had something else. i have no idea what that something else was, but he sure as hell lost it when he cheated on me. i gave him a chance because i loved him, but when i knew for sure that he was still seeing her whatever i felt just disappeared. i couldn't have taken he back because there was nothing left. i was rather thankfull that when i looked at him i didn't get any pangs because of his looks.

my playmate, to me, is gorgeous. i have a thing for pretty eyes, and that is what caught my attention. although i must admit that meeting him hadn't entered my mind to start with as i thought we were too far apart. we spent alot of time chatting and i realised that i actually really liked this guy. we both knew we wanted to meet each other so eventually it was arranged. it's actually pretty amazing getting to have sex with someone that i find very physically attractive. i'd never had an orgasm through oral before, but this man is fantastic at it, and looking down at him between my thighs as he looks up at me with those stunning eyes of his.......oooooooh boy!

needles

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RE: Another stupid question - 1/20/2013 8:15:02 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Master and I chatted for about 6 months online before we met. During that time we never exchanged pics, all we had to go on was our own descriptions of ourselves.

However by the time we got to the point where we decided to meet, we'd clicked on so many levels that looks were almost (but not totally) irrelevant.

When we met I thought he had lovely eyes, that crinkled when he smiled. He seemed to like the look of me too.

Neither of us is going to win beauty pageants, but we like what we see in each other



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