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Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 3:51:13 AM   
ForeverGaia


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		Hello all,

I was talking with my Owner the other day about the difference between pampering and service to him. Pampering was something he found excessive and indulgent, however service is something that is expected of me.

However it is my belief that if my Owner requires it of me, whether I think it's indulgent or not, it is still service. A point in reference is as follows: When previously Owned my Master required me to give him a full body massage upon arriving home to ease him of the stress of the work day. To me it was service, and a ritual, that I very much enjoyed. My Owner now wouldn't enjoy such a thing; he finds it excessive and indulgent (aka pampering him).

My question for the Masters/Mistresses/Tops is - do you make a distinction between pampering and service, or are they one and the same for you? Do you require pampering as part of a submissives/slaves service to you? Is pampering something that you desire or do you find it overly indulgent?

To the submissives/slaves/bottoms - do you make a distinction between pampering and service? Are you required to pamper your Master/Mistress/Top as part of your service?

Gaia.
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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 3:58:43 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		To me, pampering is another service a sub might provide.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 4:08:49 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		For me, pampering is something that is mutual between my partner and I. I enjoy pampering and spoiling my boy and I enjoy him giving me the same. It's another name for affection and caring.
I don't have any affection or caring for people I only play with so I have zero interest in being pampered or wasting that kind of energy on someone that isn't an integral part of my life.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 4:37:23 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		It's the same thing, to me.

Obey me, and please me, and you will be doing me a service, whether it's giving me a massage, or making sure the ice trays are filled.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 4:58:08 AM   
Destreid


Posts: 25
Joined: 11/15/2011
Status: offline 		Service: A footrub/whatever when you are told/expected to do it.

Pampering: A footrub/whatever when you are not told/expected to do it.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 9:36:50 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I'm with Crazyml on this one.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 10:56:52 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think I'd compare it the difference in sweetness between a cookie and baklava. For most, cookies are just right while baklava is overly sweet.

There's no hard and fast line here. If he feels something is excessive, then it is for him.

The Man enjoys getting a foot massage. He would consider it pampering if I then plunged his feet into a bucket of warm water before taking a pumice stone to the callouses. He just wouldn't want to sit there that long while that much attention was being paid to his feet.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 12:35:08 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I am of service to Master and I pamper him as a service. He likes being taken care of. I like doing things for him. We both like for his life to be as easy as possible. That means massages to keep him relaxed, feeding him well so he's full and happy, buying him little things that will make him smile and laugh, doing things for him without him ordering it because I know it would please him and make him smile.

To me, pampering him IS a service. Why shouldn't it be? My purpose is to make his life easier and simpler and happy.


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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 12:44:01 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverGaia


My question for the Masters/Mistresses/Tops is - do you make a distinction between pampering and service



No, and the sub/slaves who are compatible with me don't either.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 12:46:13 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Service is her duty and job etc, it's what I expect of her.

But pampering is very much a mutual thing that (I would imagine) occurs in all happy relationships. Personally, I doubt I'd enjoy a massage as an expected ritual (service). But to spontaneously give or receive, yeah, that's the kind of pampering indicative of a happy relationship.

That said, I'm not one who enjoys an excess of attention, even if her heart is in the right place. There will be balance...

Focus.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 1:10:19 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverGaia
My question for the Masters/Mistresses/Tops is - do you make a distinction between pampering and service, or are they one and the same for you? Do you require pampering as part of a submissives/slaves service to you? Is pampering something that you desire or do you find it overly indulgent?

Pampering is another form of service, albeit a more indulgent form. For instance, I enjoy doing a lot of things myself that would be considered "general service" as I enjoy doing my own cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.

But, when we're together, I do enjoy him handing me the towel when I get out of the shower, knowing how I like my coffee when he brings it to me, giving me a neck massage, etc. Some people would call that pampering and I call it service. Now, if he gave me a full-body massage, I'd feel I was being totally pampered. Come to think of it, I'm a very lucky Domme.

NBMG



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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 4:35:00 PM   
ForeverGaia


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you all for replying - it's interesting what some consider to be service and what some consider to be pampering.

Gaia.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 5:24:55 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

It's the same thing, to me.

Obey me, and please me, and you will be doing me a service, whether it's giving me a massage, or making sure the ice trays are filled.

I'm sitting next to the Mister and read him the question, and his response was close to this one. He wants what he wants and he gets what he wants. He doesn't put levels of degrees on the things he wants (ie; pampering or not, etc.).

He does, however, enjoy rituals. One of the things I do for him at the end of the day is to massage him. It brings us together and connects us. We can have some pretty intimate conversations while I'm massaging him, and it relaxes both of us at the end of the day.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 7:22:35 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Ok he just told me to rub his shoulders. I told him no, because according to Collarme that's pampering and dominants can't be pampered. Hahaha, we laughed and I massaged. :)

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 7:30:27 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Ok he just told me to rub his shoulders. I told him no, because according to Collarme that's pampering and dominants can't be pampered. Hahaha, we laughed and I massaged. :)




_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/20/2013 9:37:23 PM   
dollenburg


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		To me, pampering is annoying. Service is enjoying.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/21/2013 4:14:48 AM   
Doomkittie


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline 		I have never been pampered, I think it would be awesome. Would I like to pamper my Master, definitely, and serve. It would be entirely up to him and what he wanted though. I would like to think it would make for a stronger relationship if he could take some pampering.

DK

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/21/2013 9:59:52 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		How is there a difference?

one and the same imo

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/21/2013 2:05:50 PM   
ForeverGaia


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		ResidentSadist - The difference is in individual opinion and perception.

Thank you all for your responses/opinions on this. It's been very interesting.

Gaia.

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RE: Service versus Pampering - 1/22/2013 2:31:38 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

My question for the Masters/Mistresses/Tops is - do you make a distinction between pampering and service, or are they one and the same for you? Do you require pampering as part of a submissives/slaves service to you? Is pampering something that you desire or do you find it overly indulgent?


Yes and no on the distinction part. For me, they can be separate things or they can be together:

Service is defined as "an act of helpful activity; help; aid". It is about someone being helpful in some way. Doing something not because it just needs done around the house, but specifically to be helpful *to me*... scrub the toilet when I could do it but don't feel like it, run to the grocery store instead of my having to, undoing my bra catch when I just can't do it for some stupid reason at the moment lol.

Pampering, to me, is very much the dictionary definition of "Indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil". To dote on me, give extra attention, spoil me in various ways. A foot rub just because; drying me off after a shower even though I can and will enjoy doing it for myself; buying me that pretty dress I see at the store to make me smile, knowing I could and would otherwise buy it myself.

Pampering can be a part of service to someone - when spoiling them in ways that are helpful and/or putting their needs first.

Pampering can be done without it being a service to that someone - when spoiling them is not in a helpful manner and/or not putting their needs first.

So that's my personal take on it.

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