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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/26/2007 9:43:22 AM

mnottertail

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Oh, god save us from therapists------------

every itch is due to some vast underlying cause. Sometimes people need to just get over themselves from within. Now Charlie Manson needs a number and to be watched closely, Paris Hilton? she needs somebody to roll up a couple of her people magazines and swat her fuckin' ass...........

Let's save psychoanalysis and therapy for the truely insane and tell the vast majority of these mewling, puking bundle of insecurities (most of humanity) to buck up and grow a little ass!!!!

Sigmund Freud

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/26/2007 1:45:25 PM

goodpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane
....snip...
D/s can be very 'therapeutic' within a certain range of issues and concerns, but it is not a substitute for professional intervention in serious trauma cases, and indeed is often a contributor to the problem, even if, for a time, it appears to bring benefits. The OP is dealing with a case of serious trauma, and needs professional support.

Hi PookBaccus,
Often professional help cannot be of full value until the person is ready and it sounds like you have started the process for healing. It is hard to know what the diagnoses is but quite possibly DID/MPD, or PTSD, or if this is from childhood even RAD/PBD can have those behaviors and self image. too many issues and too many possibilities.. so it sounds like time to start the professional help.

D/s can be a wonderful supplement to therapy but it dose not replace it. D/s can not fix people.

Good luck, keep up the good work and see you at Pennsic Sir.
~ann

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/26/2007 3:03:53 PM

sweetsyn

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[/quote]

Here and in your original post you describe several things that are almost certainly symptoms of DID/MPD. I give you full credit for the help you've given her, but this is a very complex disorder and nothing you have written indicates that it's fundamental structure is resolved. Oside is correct, a therapist is in order, one familiar with DID. Unfortunately, many therapists have no understanding of this disorder, and their diagnoses and treatments are either useless or harmful. It's not surprising that she does not want further professional help, but I assure you, this is what is needed. I hope that the course you have taken with this woman has established enough trust that you can effectively encourage her to seek appropriate help. You may well find that trying to get her into therapy again, or anything else that gives her stress or makes her feel unsafe, will reactivate the 'voices' in her head. The fact that she can now 'see' her abuser (who may, in fact, be only one of many) is encouraging, but is not a resolution. It may be only the tip of the iceberg. Please help her to get qualified professional help.

[/quote]

I was wondering if DID is dissociative disorder (depersonalization)? I have tried consoling several different ones over a period of 18 years?) No one ever diagnosed me and nothing ever changed. I self diagnosed after reading a criminal case; the defense that was given was descript of the subjects mental claim. The symptoms were close enough to me that it made me look online. Not that I ever did or will kill anyone! The diagnosis explains a lot. I function fine in life but my personal relationships suffer. On line it said the only treatment is consoling and maybe drugs. It also said symptoms could come and go over time. It didn’t seem like there was a cure. I am still holding unto the hope that PookBaccus is right and that a healthy D/s relationship could calm things and make things right. Actually before my first (loveless) marriage a consoler told me that I would have to be in a committed relationship for a long time before I would open up. I never did. But the second marriage was to a dominant male(vanilla) who I misplaced my submission with. I can honestly say that I felt I loved Him and opened up. Nevertheless It ended as well because He didn’t pursue knowledge of D/s the way we spoke of in the beginning. There I learned the importance of watching where and to whom I submitted. Sorry I rambled but is DID dissociative disorder?

< Message edited by sweetsyn -- 5/26/2007 3:27:08 PM >

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/27/2007 1:51:09 PM

velvetears

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While your taking on this submission and caring about her the way you do is truly commendable, anyone with any form of mental illness will have their ups and downs depending on circumstances in their life, stressors, triggers, etc. You have no control over these things and you cannot possibly be there 24/7 to make sure she is able to handle them the way she needs to learn how. If she is hearing voics and has MPD that sounds pretty serious to me - sounds like maybe meds would be in order for her. What if her voices tell her to hurt herself one day? You can't possibly predict what course this will take. It's great she seems to be responding to you now and things are going well, but mental illness doesn't just go away on it's own.

We cannot rely on others to create a positive self image for ourselves. This has to come from within. How can you predict that one day you might do something that she will misinterpret and send her back into her shell. She can't just come out of that shell becuase you are there to support her - she has to want to be out of that shell. i am not advocating abandoning her by any means. i think support is a wonderful thing, i just think she needs to do more work herself and getting professional help is a very much needed effort - given the little bit of imformation you have already shared. i wish you both succes and happiness and hope all works out for the best.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/27/2007 5:06:07 PM

sweetsyn

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I was thinking about the many responses that have dimmed my hope. Let me just say there are many people who beleive anyone involved in this lifestyle are sexual deviants, sick, immoral etc. There seems to be a lot of judgemental people here. I am not saying mental illness does not exsist. I am saying that there are some "mental things" that therapy, drugs etc cannot help. Some things can only be fixed by a strong healthy D/s relationship. Does the vanilla mental community ever diagnose a sub as suffering from slave without a Master..........Or if the sub goes in to they label her and jusge her for her submissive desires?

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/27/2007 9:40:14 PM

velvetears

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsyn

1) Some things can only be fixed by a strong healthy D/s relationship.
2) Does the vanilla mental community ever diagnose a sub as suffering from slave without a Master..........Or if the sub goes in to they label her and jusge her for her submissive desires?

i don't agree with no 1 - relationships can make one feel better but i don't think they "fix" basic emotional/mental illnesses.

As for no 2 i don't know what most mental health professionals would think about a person having submissive desires or tendencies. i think they would make their assessment depending on how the person presented themselves and their needs as a whole. It certainly would help to find a kink aware mental health professional.

i don't understand at all a diagnosis of "a sub as suffering from slave without a Master" That doesn't make sense to me. If a sub was without a Master and that was somehow "making her suffer" and perhaps be non functional in her life because of such a loss, the diagnosis would not be "Masterless Sub Syndrom" - the issue of why she was dependant on such a person in her life to be able to function would have to be addressed - i am not sure what they would label it though.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/28/2007 8:59:54 AM

CitizenCane

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Yes, DID is Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly called MPD- Multiple Personality Disorder. It is a product of severe early childhood trauma (although such trauma does not always result in DID). Understanding of this disorder is still pretty new and not widespread in the mental health professions, which is why I say it's important to find a counselor with the appropriate background and experience in trauma work. It is highly susceptible to treatment in the right environment, meds are usually only prescribed to inhibit self-destructive behaviors while other measures are taken. Some people never take medications at all. The nature of the disorder often leads to mis-diagnosis, however- both because therapists are not very aware of the disorder, and because there is often a great deal of pressure from friends, spouses, family and the person themselves not to confront the issues of abuse that are implied by DID. If you suspect that you have this disorder, please seek out a sympathetic and well-educated therapist. They really can help.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/28/2007 9:51:50 AM

VeryMercurial

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I admire you for caring and attempting to help your submissive with her issues.
She is lucky to have found you, you are a gem.
Good luck to you both.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/28/2007 9:53:57 AM

VeryMercurial

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsyn

I would like to say Thank You to PookBaccus for restoring this one's hope that there is still is a chance to realize my deepest dreams. I may be lost but with the proper Dominant I can be found/healed. Consoling and painkillers do not work. I have always beleived the ache could only go away with full submission to a Dominant. I started to wonder if the damage and scarring I already incurred would prevent me from ever getting that. Your words have restored my hope. Thank You so very much. I guess until I find Him I could work on preparing the things i do seem to be able to control.

What a wonderful and sweet post.
I was thinking in the deepest of relationships, you can help heal each other.
PookBaccus, is one in a million around here.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/31/2007 2:56:10 PM

MzMia

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What a wonderful Master you are to care so deeply about
your submissives self-esteem!
Kudos.

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RE: How to better a subs self imagery? - 5/31/2007 3:35:21 PM

SirKitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PookBaccus
When we agreed to the relationship she was (due to poor training and poorer past experiences) disconnected from experiencing emotions. This also manifested itself physically in the form of lowered tactile sensitivity.

On the unlicensed psychological-psychiatric practice, "healing" as a project, etc., upon erotic slaves...

Did you tell her you were gonna be radically changing her psychic landsCAPE b4 you started ..?

Was she fit to enter into such a relationship ..?

< Message edited by SirKitty -- 5/31/2007 3:42:30 PM >

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