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Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 6:49:56 AM

captivebeast2

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

I am posting this for opinions. My boss' secretary is a beautiful buxom Lady. I have desired her for years. But never tried engage her in anyway. Especially in a vanilla relationship. Long story short I took her to lunch and she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair. Just out of the blue she said it. For the last few months Ive been pondering the idea of approaching her and finding out if she were serious and would Dom me. But chancing exposure at the work place and especially her being my boss' secretary. As enticing as it is. I am reluctant but fantasize about it all day everyday
May I have some opinions on this?
Thank you

Post #: 1

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 6:59:17 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Yep. Keep fantasizing all you want. Unless you wanna work someplace else.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 2

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 7:03:42 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

If she is in the lifestyle, why would she expose you? She'd have just as much to lose.

As for whether she's into you, I can't guess without seeing her. If it were me, I'd say 'I've been thinking about what you said and I'd like to learn more. Let me know if I can take you for a drink one day and talk about it.' Then leave it in her hands. Don't bring it up again if she doesn't.

Also I'm assuming you're hoping for a relationship of some sort or at least expecting to offer her something for domming you (like chores, non sexual service, or scenes focused on her interests)

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 3

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 8:11:08 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

As for whether she's into you, I can't guess without seeing her. If it were me, I'd say 'I've been thinking about what you said and I'd like to learn more. Let me know if I can take you for a drink one day and talk about it.' Then leave it in her hands. Don't bring it up again if she doesn't.

Perfect way to handle it Athena.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 4

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 9:23:28 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yep. Keep fantasizing all you want. Unless you wanna work someplace else.

THIS.

_____________________________

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 9:34:47 AM

SadisticMs2

Posts: 203
Joined: 8/10/2011
Status: offline

Keep it out of the workplace unless you want to look for a new career.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)

Post #: 6

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 12:02:39 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

I am posting this for opinions. My boss' secretary is a beautiful buxom Lady. I have desired her for years. But never tried engage her in anyway. Especially in a vanilla relationship. Long story short I took her to lunch and she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair. Just out of the blue she said it. For the last few months Ive been pondering the idea of approaching her and finding out if she were serious and would Dom me. But chancing exposure at the work place and especially her being my boss' secretary. As enticing as it is. I am reluctant but fantasize about it all day everyday
May I have some opinions on this?
Thank you

Sounds like a big risk for a small reward.. the reward only being 'potential'. On the other hand, 5 minutes of magic would certainly be amazing. It's your scale, dude.. weigh then decide. Good luck.

oh.. p.s.. Dude.. keep in mind that she said 4 years.. you have time so no need to rush into anything right now. Just, you know, be cool.. either way.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 7

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 4:08:50 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yep. Keep fantasizing all you want. Unless you wanna work someplace else.

hahahahahahahaha

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 8

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 4:10:07 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yep. Keep fantasizing all you want. Unless you wanna work someplace else.

THIS.

That...and something else.

Those things. Them...and them others.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)

Post #: 9

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 5:03:09 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

I'd recommend talking to her about it. But, I'd recommend finding a different job first.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 10

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/25/2013 6:36:15 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

While I do agree with Dark Steven's comment ... you made me recall something I remember from my past.

A number of years ago, I was in a Management position in a company ... and the President's secretary (Admin Assistant) was always giving me the "come on".

The Controller came to me one night and asked me what I thought of her ... and all I said was ... hot, hot chick!

Finally he tells me ...

I hear she is really into some kinky stuff (Dominatrix) and wants to run into you at such and such a place after work, one night.

I ignored it ... five weeks later ...

she no longer worked there.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 11

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/26/2013 11:49:39 AM

LeatherBentOne51

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline

Ever hear the cliche: Don't shit where you eat"

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 12

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/26/2013 1:44:17 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

This... with a big old caveat below...

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

If she is in the lifestyle, why would she expose you? She'd have just as much to lose.

As for whether she's into you, I can't guess without seeing her. If it were me, I'd say 'I've been thinking about what you said and I'd like to learn more. Let me know if I can take you for a drink one day and talk about it.' Then leave it in her hands. Don't bring it up again if she doesn't.

Also I'm assuming you're hoping for a relationship of some sort or at least expecting to offer her something for domming you (like chores, non sexual service, or scenes focused on her interests)

Really sound advice as an opener, it doesn't commit you to anything and it's not pushy.

But I have to add...

I know Athena said this (and I'm sure you're smart enough to know it already but...) but... if she doesn't bring it up, then leave it. Don't bring it up again. Ever, ever. One shot then that's it. If she's not interested enough to have a natter with you, leave it the fuckety-fuck alone.

And... (and again I'm sure you've considered this but....) You know how fucked up work relationships (even the most vanilla kind) can make things? Now imagine how fucked up a D/s relationship could make things....

Think about all the fucking dreadful consequences that could ensue if something like this went messy.

I'm not saying never date or do the d/s thing with a co-worker, or that I would never do it, but fuck me... it would have to be someone I knew and trusted very very well indeed.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 13

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/26/2013 1:55:12 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

This......

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Yep. Keep fantasizing all you want. Unless you wanna work someplace else.

and this......

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
If it were me, I'd say 'I've been thinking about what you said and I'd like to learn more. Let me know if I can take you for a drink one day and talk about it.' Then leave it in her hands. Don't bring it up again if she doesn't.

Also I'm assuming you're hoping for a relationship of some sort or at least expecting to offer her something for domming you (like chores, non sexual service, or scenes focused on her interests)

captivebeast2,

Don't you know you shouldn't shit in your own backyard? lol Keep your personal life out of the workplace, it never seems to work out well.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 1/26/2013 1:56:29 PM >

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 14

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/26/2013 6:15:11 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

I'm curious as to why she would have told you this, captive.
It's not exactly one of those casual "by the way, did I tell you that....?" comments.

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

Long story short I took her to lunch and she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair. Just out of the blue she said it.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 15

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/26/2013 7:36:56 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

I'm curious as to why she would have told you this, captive.
It's not exactly one of those casual "by the way, did I tell you that....?" comments.

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

Long story short I took her to lunch and she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair. Just out of the blue she said it.

I'm kind of curious, too.

I brought the subject up once to a man in the workplace. It was done with intent.
(He was appalled. Fail.)

I wonder what her motive was?

(in reply to EsotericLady)

Post #: 16

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/27/2013 9:01:42 PM

InsaneSerenity

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/18/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

I'm curious as to why she would have told you this, captive.
It's not exactly one of those casual "by the way, did I tell you that....?" comments.

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

Long story short I took her to lunch and she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair. Just out of the blue she said it.

I'm kind of curious, too.

I brought the subject up once to a man in the workplace. It was done with intent.
(He was appalled. Fail.)

I wonder what her motive was?

um, intent? Of course, the entire start of the Op especially,"I took her to lunch and.." Sounds like something else is going on. One doesn't say such things unless looking to measure a response.

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 17

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/27/2013 10:31:34 PM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

I would tell her you would like to know more....

(in reply to InsaneSerenity)

Post #: 18

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/28/2013 10:14:41 AM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

I joke that all of the women I meet are either Married, Lesbians... or I work with them.

Hello A/all,

To the O/P: Have you ever seen those big blocks of salt that farmers leave out for their livestock? That is how many grains of salt I would take her comment with!

She might be the genuine article. On the other hand, her knowledge of our beloved lifestyle may be limited to having seen "Exit to Eden."

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

< Message edited by SnowRanger -- 1/28/2013 10:31:59 AM >

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 19

RE: Advise for bdsm at work - 1/28/2013 11:00:40 AM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

Some of this has already been said by others (so HTs all around to those who presented parts already), but some is new.

If you didn't fall out of your chair, you must either have a high tolerance for the shocking or a low center of gravity. :-)

Yes, you need to seriously consider the risks of having any kind of relationship with a co-worker, but it's not a hard and fast "no", IMHO.

If she did say it out of the blue, I can't imagine any scenario where she wasn't trying to gauge your reaction, either out of general curiosity or possible interest. Toss it out there (that you're interested) subtly, but not so subtly that it's not crystal clear to her. Then if she doesn't respond, never bring it up again. (Actually, this is probably good advice for any potential relationship, not just specific to BDSM or the workplace.)

This intrigues me (emphasis mine):

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2
... she told me in 4 years once her son is out of the house, she in going to be a full Dominatrix.

I don't know if the word "full" is yours or hers, or what exactly it means.

* Once he is out of the house, I will have more time to pursue a relationship and/or sexual desires that I don't feel I can properly dedicate enough time to now.
* He's in seminary, and I don't want him to know that his mom is kinky.
* Once he's out of the house, I'm turning his bedroom (or even more of the house) into a dungeon.
* I'm going to quit my secretary job and make my bread-and-butter with a whip.
* Other

It's just such a wide-open term. But regardless of what it means, there's almost definitely an implication that if she's going to be "full" in four years, then she's "partial" now. Now "partial" may just mean that she's completely keeping it at a theoretical level (reading fora like this, masturbating to FemDom porn, maybe a bit of cyber play). Or it may mean that her definition of "full" involves a host of subs, and right now she'd only have time for one (or maybe even that she thinks she wouldn't be able to give one enough time).

But what I really want to know is what was the next thing said after she dropped that bomb? "How 'bout them Dodgers?" In other words, were you so shocked that you didn't say anything and she quickly changed topics?

(in reply to captivebeast2)

Post #: 20

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