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How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 9:15:26 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I never thought in a million years that I'd be asking this question, but yeah. Please read my profile and tell me bluntly what you think I can do to improve it. Thank you all so much.

NBMG

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 9:28:19 PM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
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I have to admit, i gave up reading. What a load of waffle.
If a male dominant had asked advice on that, he'd be ripped to shreads.
You wont be..

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 9:32:52 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Okay, so then I should make it shorter? I will wait for a few more critiques and then I'll dig in to changing it.

NBMG

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 10:18:55 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I'm sneaking off for a few hours and, hopefully, when I come back there will be some helpful critiques.

NBMG

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 10:35:34 PM

Ronnie1986

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/15/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

I'm sneaking off for a few hours and, hopefully, when I come back there will be some helpful critiques.

NBMG

i read the entire thing waiting for somthing for me to blow up on you about.. things like pay pigs and so on but there was nothing wrong with it.. i dont think you should shorten it the entire thing is describing of you.. in fact you may want to add a if you message me include this word bit even so you know any potentials actually read it and are messaging you only after understanding what you are about..

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/26/2013 10:36:38 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I don't see that much wrong with it at all. I would move the "not looking" part to the top. Seems unfair to have people read the majority of your profile only to be told you won't be interested.

Other than that, maybe break it into a couple more paragraphs and try to be a bit briefer. So many people seem to hate reading long sentences. I guess they must have a short attention span or something.

On the other hand, since you aren't looking, why change it at all? You aren't trying to attract anyone and people who will look at your profile will already kind of know you from the message boards (both here and on FL I assume).

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 12:17:37 AM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
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I love your pics, and you have a fabulous, inviting smile, which makes you come across as fun, kind, fair and playful.

Your words tell me you're grounded, nature-oriented, responsible and conscientious, with a healthy dose of self-respect.

This would all make you the kind of person I would like to get to know.

What follows is likely only an issue for me, as I'm a bit sensitive in some ways. Most people wouldn't care.

The red print on blue background is painful to my eyes/brain, I find it downright impossible for me to read, and it actually puts me off.

Were it my profile (which it is not), I'd be more inclined to attempt to lure with the positive, rather than restrict with the negative. Example; you say, “If you write to me and just say “Hi” or “How r u?” and nothing else, don't expect an answer. I need more than that to go on.”

That would have a negative effect on my conscious and subconscious mind, maybe not on anyone else. More alluring to me would be something like, “I'd be far more inclined to reply to those that open with more than just a measly, 'Hi,' or 'How r u?' I am big on communication skills, and would hope that you are as well.”

and

“I will gladly consider friendship requests after we have established consistent communications and common ground.”

“BDSM honorifics and genital pictures will be neither offered nor appreciated until mutually agreed upon, as I am made up of far more than titles or genitals, and hope you are as well."

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/27/2013 12:19:50 AM >

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 3:09:34 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Loved it!

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 5:25:56 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I am so with Dusky about getting rid of that red on blue. Maybe you could bold that section or underline it for emphasis but I don't think that particular color scheme is working for you.

If it were Me, I'd try organizing the thoughts a little better. Move that sentence about your number on the Kinsey scale down with your lifestyle info. In it's spot, put the sentence that you are not looking.

I think it would be an easier read with some space between the paragraphs on the top. You've got space between the top and that harsh red stuff, so it will work for you. Where you have this, "I love the woods and the smell of trees, they're very comforting." I would break that into two sentences. I'd also suggest a paragraph break there as it would separate your vanilla info from your kink info. As another point, I'd probably lead that next paragraph with what kind of Domme that you are and close the paragraph about D/s being about both people and respect going both ways at the end of it. That leads into the paragraph of your relationship information and might give you better flow.

That's all I spotted in My (so far) limited caffeine morning.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 5:36:03 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
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Since you're not looking, what is the purpose of your profile and why do you think it needs to be changed?

When you write something, it helps to have a clear purpose and state it outright at the beginning because from that the rest of it will flow.

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 5:45:50 AM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
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I was wondering exactly the same thing, and I haven't read your profile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

Since you're not looking,... why do you think it needs to be changed?

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 6:05:18 AM

muhly22222

Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
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Overall, it's a pretty good profile. The pictures are good, and you talk about yourself in a succinct but satisfying (and not THAT kind of satisfying) way.

Like others have said, I'm not a fan of the color scheme, so that's one area for improvement.

I would move the "I'm not looking" section further up towards the top. If I was a prospective sub looking for a person to submit to, I wouldn't want to find out the little tidbits about your personality that you drop only to find out that this awesome chick is unavailable.

There is a small grammatical error that makes for awkward reading in the first paragraph as well; I would change the end of it to say something like "My Kinsey number hovers between 0 and 1..."

My final suggestion is to leave out the sections where you talk about not responding to messages like "How r u?" or that you don't want to be called "Goddess" or "Mistress." Maybe that's because I'm male, and don't see the volume or explicitness of the messages that you do, and if they help to keep down the number of those kind of messages you get, then by all means keep them in. I just don't know how much effect they have, and they come across as negative (not that I think you're a negative person, your pictures and journal entries put that idea to rest).

If you want to keep those sections up, maybe change them to something that sounds more positive. Something along the lines of "I really like receiving long and well-thought-out messages," or "If you want to message me, please call me NBMG (for instance) instead of Mistress."

Then again, those would be suggestions for somebody that was looking...since you're not, I don't know that you really need to make any changes.

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 7:02:32 AM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
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Well you had me at the black kitty cat photos!

I think your profile is very nice. The only thing I can think to suggest is that you put up front that you are not looking.

The descriptors about yourself are good. The font is easy to read. You wisely put the world on notice not to send penis photos or call you mistress

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 12:49:18 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Thank you so much everyone. I've now changed my profile per all your suggestions. Thank you. I'm hoping that it's now not only new but also improved.

To those who wonder why I need a profile if I'm not looking, everyone on CM has to have a profile whether it's hidden or not. I'd rather not hide mine so, if someone wants to know more about me when I write on the message boards, they can.

NBMG

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 12:53:36 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

mmm...I don't think you need a profile on the other side. You can get directly to the forums I'm pretty sure without a profile. You can just log into collarchat.com.

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 1:16:04 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
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Actually when you first start, yes the profile is on the other side.. that is how I got on there, I made a "profile" on this side and quickly realized it was put on the other side automatically...

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 1:46:18 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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ah ok.I was always under the assumption that the other side was separate from here completely. As for having a profileon the other side even though you are not looking, I just put in my profile that I'm just looking for platonic conversation. Sometimes I also put in the word "Taken." when I feel like it but usually I feel no reason to add anything at all to the other side profile.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/27/2013 1:47:23 PM >

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 2:49:24 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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A person can just log into collarchat as a guest without joining CM and having a profile on the other side but, as a guest, they can't post on any threads or start their own. That kind of defeats the purpose unless a person just wants to read and not take part in the "conversations."

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 2:57:58 PM

rhymeswithcupid

Posts: 52
Joined: 6/2/2012
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Why are you advertising the fact that you have a 5 yr old "little" ... That just strikes me as *deeply* personal information that shouldn't be put out there for just anyone to see and pass judgement on.

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RE: How's my profile? - 1/27/2013 3:21:44 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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The term little used in that context is talking about age play. Not an actual little person.

I like the changes. Even just that bit of polish makes it so much smoother. Good job.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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