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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/13/2013 8:21:12 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


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From: P'burgh PA
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Quite reasonable and far more civil than I might have been to be honest. Big hug my ninja grizzly!

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/13/2013 8:56:10 PM   
outlier


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dc,

You are so bright and so perceptive that I am sure I do not need
to say this, but you asked. 

First of all, of course it is reasonable, very reasonable all things considered.

Second, I am sure you picked up on your mom's use of the word "we" and
I hope you can see that she means it as "we are in this together" even though
you are the one with the diagnosis, and don't resent her for it.

This caring for/ being respectful of/ dance is all part of being very close and
battling a disease.  At least it was for us during the 15 months my woman/we fought
cancer.  It is one of the very real stresses they don't usually tell you about.  And
part of learning this dance is stepping on each others toes. 

I would recommend that you and your mom sit and have a talk about this close/distance
caring/privacy balance.  You are both human and you are both going to make mistakes.
You both would be best served by focusing on what is good and moving on.  Save your
respective energies for the battle.  But since it is your war you get to be the general and
she has to understand that.    

I don't want to close this post without saying how much respect I have for you.
Your posts on this boards both in this and other threads have been nothing short
of an inspiration.  I continue to hold good thoughts for you. 

Outlier





< Message edited by outlier -- 5/13/2013 9:00:11 PM >


_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/21/2013 3:47:16 PM   
dcnovice


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Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and kind words. They mean more than I can say.

Today brought hard news: Last week's CT scan--the first glimpse of MiMA since radiation--showed "no significant change" in the tumor's size. To put it mildly, I'm a bit bummed.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/21/2013 3:50:54 PM   
Rasciallymisty


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Awe DC I am sorry but never give up on faith.

misty

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/21/2013 4:41:15 PM   
outlier


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Joined: 10/22/2005
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It didn't get any bigger either.  That is the necessary
first step in turning things around.  It does not feel
like a victory, but it might be.  Wars consist of many battles.




_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/21/2013 7:32:56 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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Outlier has a good point dc, it could have gotten bigger and it didn't. That's a good thing. What do they mean by "significant" anyway? Does that mean it could have shrunk a fraction of a fraction of a centimeter? That isn't a significant amount, but to you, the patient, it could mean a lot.

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/21/2013 7:58:20 PM   
MistressDarkArt


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DC, just want you to know you're a tough old bird and you will be lovable no matter what course of action you decide.

I had a dear friend who needed frequent dialysis for liver failure. Unfortunately, he was not a candidate for transplant, but as a sailor/passage-maker he didn't want to be forced to stay in port for his dialysis appointments. One option was to flush his peritoneum with saline several times a day. That meant he had to have a port put in, and slosh around with salt water in his gut for most of the day, every single day. But he could do it himself and be in complete control of his treatment

Before the surgery, he consulted me for a woman's opinion. Would I look at his setup and go 'eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww', never touching him again!? I told him: you're talking about folks who bleed constantly 5+ days a month and yet don't die. We give birth, and mop up the messes for the next 18 years. You think something like a little tube and salt water is going to phase us?

He did do it. It extended his life and made it more reasonably livable. We got to spend more time at sea instead of hanging out at a clinic stuck to a machine.

My point is: whatever it takes to keep you alive, do it. Life goes on; we eventually find new ways to survive and thrive in the face of uncomfortable change. I know you can do it!

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/22/2013 4:47:33 PM   
dcnovice


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I think I've now discussed anal sex more times with doctors than I've actually done it.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/22/2013 4:49:18 PM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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Well then, I really think you have to work on changing that ratio.

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/22/2013 5:25:59 PM   
dcnovice


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Seriously!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/22/2013 9:15:50 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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Well, get to it! I'm sure you can find time in between cancer treatments, fending off well meaning friends and relatives, work, throwing up, falling down and trying to get some rest. I mean really, you have tons of free time on your hands!

(in reply to dcnovice)
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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/31/2013 8:49:20 PM   
dcnovice


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Joined: 8/2/2006
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FR

I know my last few updates have been pretty bleak, so here's a happier one.

“We’re walking….” You’ve probably heard those words from a tour guide in a movie or on TV. Perhaps even in real life, though I’m pretty sure I haven’t. I do know I’ve never uttered them at Wilson House. Still, they came to mind this afternoon as I did something I hadn’t done since Lent—walk outside without a cane.

Back in March, you may recall, I fell several times during a nightmarish evening in my apartment. That led to the first of four hospital stays (three at Georgetown, one at National Rehabilitation Hospital) that occupied the better—or worse—part of a month. After my discharge from the first stay, my wonderful sister and I drove back to Dupont, where we decided to get a bit of non-hospital food at my diner. She let me out of the car, and I tottered toward a table while she looked for parking.

By the time I sat down, I felt like I’d scaled Everest, sans Sherpa. As I gripped the patio railing and backs of chairs, I thought, “Oh dear God. Did I just make a terrible mistake leaving the hospital?” My sister, it turned out, had the same thought as she watched me. Great minds, eh?

The first order of business after lunch, we swiftly agreed, was getting yours truly a cane. Maureen, God bless her, dashed off to CVS and returned with a spiffy, metal “third leg,” as Woodrow Wilson would have called it. It’s a snazzy burgundy color, and it’s been my most prominent accessory ever since.

As the weeks rolled by, I noticed something interesting: my handy new accessory could also be a bit of an annoyance. It slowed me down and made me (for the first time in my adult life) lean to the right. I also found that I’d forget to pick it up if I was going a short distance, say from the kitchen to the bedroom at home or from my desk to the copier at work. Before long, I was pretty much parking the cane whenever I arrived at the office or the apartment and tooling around just fine without it.

But home and work are flat, familiar spaces. They’re safe. I continued to feel the need for my third leg when I ventured outdoors, particularly on the sloping, crowded walkways at the Zoo. Even there, though, I noticed lately that I’d started to hang the cane in the crook of my left arm rather than use it in my right hand. And I seemed to be doing just fine. Still, I liked having my security blanket handy, particularly for when I was tired or sore or stressed.

The past few days, though, I’ve been thinking it’s time to consider shedding the cane. So I decided to do a “test drive” this afternoon. I was meeting a dear friend for coffee at the Starbucks opposite the Zoo’s main entrance. It’s maybe a 25-to-50-yard walk from the Visitor Center (where I work), up the mild (at that point) incline of Olmsted Walk, and then across what I’m pretty sure is the world’s largest crosswalk. With only mild trepidation, I left the cane hanging on my cube wall.

And I walked. And it was good. (And I probably shouldn’t start two consecutive sentences with “And,” but, hey, I save the prescriptivism for other people’s writing.) I got a little nervous stepping down the curb onto Connecticut Avenue, and felt mildly wobbly after walking my friend to her car (which, alas, sported a ticket; gotta love D.C.). So I’m considering my experiment a success and will attempt longer forays under my own steam.

Tomorrow brings another “test drive”—my return to Wilson House. I’ll be volunteering in the afternoon (1-5), when we’ll be in open-house mode as part of the Dupont-Kalorama Museum Walk. If you’re in the neighborhood, please drop by. I haven’t decided whether the cane will join me. Oddly enough, I often feel more wobbly standing still (as I will be tomorrow) than walking. So we’ll see. I supposed I could borrow one of the President’s hundred or so canes, though I’m not sure how well that would go over. At least it would be an improvement on last year, when our curator had to separate two kids who were using them to sword-fight!

Despite his large collection—mainly gifts from friends and admirers who wondered “What can I do?” after his paralytic stroke in 1919—Wilson was a creature of habit and tended to use the same one most of the time. Ironically, I think that’s the only we don’t have. No one’s quite sure where it went; perhaps a relative claimed it as a memento.

We’ve now been walking for almost two pages, and your eyes are probably tired. So I’ll sign off, with my usual thanks for your kind e-listening. Love to you all!




_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/31/2013 9:14:07 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
Yay! whooty woo! Cane free!

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 5/31/2013 10:53:12 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline
Yay! That is good news (and a good story)!

And, I have a habit of over using conjunctions at the beginning of sentences so your usage made me smile.

Enjoy your cane-free walk tomorrow should you go sans cane.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/1/2013 9:46:22 AM   
outlier


Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
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OK, good to read.  The weather here has been great for walking lately.

I enjoy a walk 5-7 days a week.  It is part of the health regimen I
assigned to myself after watching my partner go through intense
medical care. I started doing it alone and now I have a friend who
joins me.

I carry one of my walking sticks when I take the walk.  I have two,
one was a gift from her.  They both have brass heads.  I carry them
on the street side when I walk the one section without a sidewalk.

As silly as it sounds I have found that the cars on that street give me
more clearance when I walk when waving the stick on the street side.
It helps if I keep the brass head polished.   I have also used it to ward
off one dog who has an irresponsible owner.

So I would suggest carrying the cane even if you feel you don't need it.
Just carry it with an attitude, I have confidence in your ability to pull it off.






_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to theshytype)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/1/2013 10:19:20 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
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Great to hear... I used a cane for 8 years because of hip, knee, and back problems. I could not get up off the floor, out of a chair, or bend down to pick something up without my trusty cane.

Four operations over two years and two more of recovery I am now cane free...and I walk with no problems at all. As much as we all hate to think of someone cutting on our bodies it can work and work well. I fully expect you to be free of all your health problems in a few years and writing and encouraging others in their fights with nature.


ps ... I still often carry the cane...I think it can look cool... and makes a good defensive weapon when needed.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/1/2013 11:36:23 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
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^^^I agree with Butch.

During recovery from too many things I'd rather not get into at the moment, I used two walking sticks (mountain hiking kind) just to get across the living room. I love them. Even one provides balance and support. I still use at least one on every hike and long walk I take. I keep one in the car and one on the porch. Never leave home without 'em.

The sticks seem truer to my active style than a cane. Fitting properly for height (canes too) with your hand in place at waist level) prevents stick-related imbalances, gait problems, or shoulder/wrist strain.

Congratulations, DC! You're on your way back! Let us know how it went!

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/1/2013 10:11:18 PM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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I'm really happy for you!

During the open house, I think we can be pretty certain they wouldn't want you to borrow one of the canes, though, lol.

Perhaps there is a strapping, handsome man you can grab for assistance? Even if you don't really need it.

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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/4/2013 4:33:04 PM   
dcnovice


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Joined: 8/2/2006
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FR

Well, I' a bit more bionic today.

I had a Mediport installed this morning so that I can receive IV chemo without needing myriad needle jabs. Aside from the waiting that seems to be an inevitable part of any hospital visit, things went swimmingly. In some pain now (maybe a four) but hoping it will subside.

As ever, thanks for the prayers, kind words, and support!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 6/9/2013 6:22:22 PM   
dcnovice


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Joined: 8/2/2006
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The other night, I read through the complete archive of my health-related emails to family and friends. There were three separate references to humane euthanasia. Hadn't realized it was on my mind quite that much!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 240
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