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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 4:17:51 PM

enthralled

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A proven trust, integrity, sincerity, understanding, connection, and honor ..... a man doesnt have to be a god ... he only has to be an outstanding human being with the ability to master me.

~enthralled

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 4:36:37 PM

BuxomGoddess714

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Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
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TRUST ~ and it must be earned by someone who is where they say they will be, when they say they will be there. Does what they say they will do, when they say they will do it. Is there for YOU, not just their own interest or needs. Is honest about difficult subjects, not just mirroring and echoing your interests like a mocking bird to front for you (that is a sign of a con artist). The BEST way of judging someone's future behaviour, is by their past behaviour, so look at their life. What have they accomplished? Do they have direction or are they all over the map? Have they done things for others or lived a selfish and/or destructive life? As others have said, it takes TIME to know these things, so don't rush in. Lessons learned the hard and very painful way, but learned nonetheless.
Be blessed.

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 5:27:15 PM

SweetSubTrisha

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For myself, it's a matter of his actions.. not just his words. How consistent, how open and forthright he is. I have to know that he means exactly what he says. It's not possible for me to feel secure with someone who hasn't 'shown' me who they are inside.

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 7:51:42 PM

juliaoceania

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After reading your questions again I think you were asking about being physically careful? Like how do we know we are phycially secure with a dominant? If that was what you wanted to know it would probably change all of our answers

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 8:04:28 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

His experience and knowledge/wisdom. His consistency. His unwillingness to "yield" to me when I thought I knew best (hence, staying true to his own convictions). That he listens to me and hears me, and understands me. His track record of repeated good decisions, and sticking to them, even if I struggled with them at the time. His ability to be painfully tough when I need it, and his ability to pull me close when I need it. His feedback. That he never set me up to do something I couldn't do (even if I thought I couldn't do it). His lessons which made me strong. His honesty. His power. His control.

I could go on....

I am going to second what OG says above.
Also, I love it when I ask Master a question, especially one that is important to me, and He listens without interruption, and answers me with confidence and kindness.

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 9:01:48 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

After reading your questions again I think you were asking about being physically careful? Like how do we know we are phycially secure with a dominant? If that was what you wanted to know it would probably change all of our answers

Interesting clarification....but it wouldnt change mine

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RE: simple question - 6/20/2006 9:39:00 PM

wouldlike2

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hello juliaoceania..

thanks for Your answer and no it was not about the physical careness/ secure.

pet

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RE: simple question - 6/21/2006 8:46:06 AM

impishlilhellcat

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For me just coming to know the man in my life the thing that helps me become secure is to know that we both share something special. While we are not together officially collar and all it's to know that he's serious about exploring things with me and not interested in running down 25 other girls or collecting 25 other girls. I like to have one thing that we hold sacred and true for example: Using the name Daddy. He's my Daddy and I call him Daddy, but the minute someone else starts calling him Daddy whether it be out of respect or whatever it's lost that special feeling of something that only he and I share together. Also I like to see how they play in a scene. Whether or not they are careful of where they hit etc...

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RE: simple question - 6/21/2006 1:15:11 PM

Tamerofwild1s

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

thanks a lot Tamerofwild1s,

seems like my english isn't well at all - smile -

thanks for Your help... i am still a native german speaker and writer

pet

anytime pet .. I just got lucky on this one I think

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RE: simple question - 6/21/2006 2:00:50 PM

irishbynature

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Hum...I feel it's a valid question. But, I think that feeling secure comes from within yourself, with/without a relationship. Besides, Mine spoils me rotten (weg)

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RE: simple question - 6/22/2006 5:11:49 AM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

thanks a lot for Your answers so far - smile -

seems like my question wasn't not the right one i would like have to know.. so i try to be a bit more specific..
i would like to know.. what does make a D/s relation when in progress, so You already not involved safe and secure ? what does give You the safety to know that the Dom/ Master is a careful one? what is needed for You? hopefuly i could express myself right this time - smile -
and hug to A/ all who answer

pet

ok I think I deciphered the question here .... what she is asking I believe is ...

What makes you sure BEFORE the D/s relationship start that it is going to be a safe and secure one .... and what lets you now PRE-collaring that the Dom/me is gonna be careful

What are your triggers that tell you the one your considering is going to be the best choice for you?

I hope this helped everyone in answering her questions

To answer the expanded question, is the person known in the local community, does He have references, does He understand the need for feeling safe, public meetings, those sort of things are all important. Listening to your inner voice telling you if you feel safe or not, all those things come into play.

If He is a good match, comes from the standard mantra to build all relationships communication, talk about likes, dislikes, vanilla, lifestyle, etc. Know who you are, Know what you need in a relationship, only then can you "know" if someone is going to be a good match for you.

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Post #: 31