You Might Be A Republican If...

You Might Be A Republican If... (Full Version)

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irishbynature -> You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 3:24:26 AM)
It is very tough to be a Republican, because somehow, you have to believe concurrently that: Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals & Hillary Clinton. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body; but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican. condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offence.A president lying about WMD existence, to enlist support for an unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and civilians die, is somehow, solid "defence"policy in a "War Against Terrorism." The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and outsourcing their jobs to India. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offence. A president lying about WMD existence, to enlist support for an unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and civilians die, is somehow, solid "defence" policy in a "War Against Terrorism." Being a drug addict is a moral failing and acrime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, but then demand their cooperation and money. ..HMOs and Insurance Companies make good profits; and have the interest of the public at heart. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. .Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which should include "banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet." The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades; but George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade should be sealed in his Daddy's library, and is none of our business. What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s was of vital national interest; but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist; but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a "spirit of international harmony." Pre-emptive war with Iraq was necessary because we thought they had WMD's; but pre-emptive war with North Korea is not a consideration, even though we KNOW they have them. It's OK for our military to secure the borders of Iraq, but claim they are not "trained" to secure the U.S. borders. Affirmative Action is wrong; but is OK for your Daddy and his friends (here & in Saudi Arabia) * to help you graduate from Yale w/o studying much, * to assist you in dodging the draft in the Texas Air National Guard, * to rescue you & bail out your company Harken Oil & the Texas Rangers, * to hand you the Governorship of Texas, * to have the U.S. Supreme Court appoint you President of the USA. "Nation-building" is considered a no-no before being elected president, but now it's a top priority. You are a conservative; but it is OK to spend like there is no tomorrow and run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same time, refunding as much tax money as possible to rich people who do not need it. We're perfectly happy to listen to you and have a debate in principle, but we'll only listen to you if you pass the loyalty test. ..And you only pass the loyalty test if you agree with us. [&:] The illogical behaviours and contradictory beliefs can take a toll on a healthy mind. So, if a friend of yours has been acting a bit dazed and confused lately, be nice: HE OR SHE MAY BE A REPUBLICAN!!![:D]

pahunkboy -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 7:15:02 AM)
I truly hope we have SOMEONE to vote for in 08.

Quivver -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 7:50:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: irishbynature It is very tough to be a Republican, because somehow, you have to believe concurrently that: Say What??

MistressLorelei -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 9:25:17 AM)
You know you are a republican if.... You are Pro Life, yet also Pro Death penalty You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because Bert and Ernie are gay, sexual deviants You have ever said 'clean air? Looks clean to me'

Mercnbeth -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 10:36:13 AM)
You *may* be a Republican if you pay more taxes than you get from government subsidies. This includes corporations getting welfare, but since corporations don't vote, and their taxes are ultimately paid by the consumer, corporations are mostly Democrat. Their owners and stockholders are Republican. You *know* you're a Democrat if you post your political position or are upset and take seriously a political position made in a "Humor" thread on a BDSM dating/message site. What next, discussion of the political ramifications of Garfield? For the record, my political party is the same as my religious denomination. I'm a devote pragmatist.

LoveableTrouble -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 5:02:30 PM)
damn our country is in a sad state... Im moveing to canada

MistressLorelei -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 6:10:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth You *may* be a Republican if you pay more taxes than you get from government subsidies. This includes corporations getting welfare, but since corporations don't vote, and their taxes are ultimately paid by the consumer, corporations are mostly Democrat. Their owners and stockholders are Republican. You know you're a Democrat if you post your political position or are upset and take seriously a political position made in a "Humor" thread on a BDSM dating/message site. What next, discussion of the political ramifications of Garfield? For the record, my political party is the same as my religious denomination. I'm a devote pragmatist. But in the Democrat humor it was an okay for you to post a list if why evil Democrats are responsible for social security problems, taxes, etc. There is humor in politics in general, but be consistent. It seems hypocritical to condemn those in this thread and the comments made here, just two days after doing the same thing in the Democrat "humor" thread. Just my observation. According to your post here, that would make you a Democrat?

irishbynature -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 7:06:12 PM)
quote: But in the Democrat humor it was an okay for you to post a list if why evil Democrats are responsible for social security problems, taxes, etc. There is humor in politics in general, but be consistent. It seems hypocritical to condemn those in this thread and the comments made here, just two days after doing the same thing in the Democrat "humor" thread. Well said[sm=hello.gif]

Lordandmaster -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/20/2006 8:16:36 PM)
Irish, are you a Democrat in Georgia? I didn't know they HAD Democrats in Georgia.

caitlyn -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/21/2006 3:08:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: irishbynature Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals & Hillary Clinton. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body; but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. I don't really care much about the Republicrat debate (or Democans if you prefer), but think these four points were worth the price of admission ... especially since CollarMe is free.[;)]

LokisBrat -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/21/2006 4:19:59 PM)
"It's a two party system, you have to vote for one of us" -Kronos and Kang from the Simpsons LOKI

ArtimisBlack -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/27/2006 10:25:52 AM)
I wonder how long it will take before the democrats and the republicans are no longer the "in" political group- and what we'll have next. I hope its better.......

ADomDoc -> The Bronze Rat (6/27/2006 11:29:36 AM)
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs,the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Republican."

ADomDoc -> Equal Time (6/27/2006 11:34:17 AM)
A vacationer from New York found his way into a bar in Billings, Montana and began some serious drinking. After he was well past the legal limit, he stood up and shouted, "Every last Democrat is a horse's ass!" The crowd jumped on him and beat him up. After a week he returned to the same bar and, had some drinks and stood up and shouted, "Every last Republican is a horse's ass!" The crowd descended upon him and beat him into silly putty again. He asks the bartender, "Who are these people anyway?" "You don't understand," the attendant replied. "This is horse country."

cloudboy -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/27/2006 4:18:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy I truly hope we have SOMEONE to vote for in 08. Gore and Kerry were great candidates. I loved both of them. The country has just greatly tilted toward the right in the voting booth, and so we have exactly what the majoritiy of voters want and deserve.

MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (6/27/2006 5:26:33 PM)
I'm not a Republican because I agree with them..... I am a Republican because I DON'T agree with the democrats!!!! I dissagree with a lot of things that the republicans stand for... but, democrats are pretty go at blaming everything on someone else... it doesn't matter if they did it or not... just ask Kerry.... could that boy think of anyone else to blame crap on?? damn... [:D] Just smile kiddies.... we voted for them.... sorry.... if you don't like it, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND VOTE!!!!

Sub03 -> RE: You Might Be A Republican If... (7/6/2006 11:46:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarksFantasyGirl I'm not a Republican because I agree with them..... I am a Republican because I DON'T agree with the democrats!!!! I dissagree with a lot of things that the republicans stand for... but, democrats are pretty go at blaming everything on someone else... it doesn't matter if they did it or not... just ask Kerry.... could that boy think of anyone else to blame crap on?? damn... [:D] Just smile kiddies.... we voted for them.... sorry.... if you don't like it, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND VOTE!!!! I thought the joke was funny and a lil too true. As far as voting....people didnt vote for bush the presidency was handed to him and fixed both terms, if he could figure out a way to serve a third term he probablly would.....but thats all ill say on that topic.

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