RE: Eac to their own

RE: Eac to their own (Full Version)

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CrappyDom -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 10:34:06 AM)
My kink is to find new naive submissives, tell them S&M isn't about sex, and explain how big and bad the world is and then offer them my collar of protection. I then explain how important training is and proceed to train her to do ATM. I also keep her isolated and not allow her to talk to anyone else who isn't real and I decide who is and isn't real.

trippingdaisy -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 10:54:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom My kink is to find new naive submissives, tell them S&M isn't about sex, and explain how big and bad the world is and then offer them my collar of protection. I then explain how important training is and proceed to train her to do ATM. I also keep her isolated and not allow her to talk to anyone else who isn't real and I decide who is and isn't real. See, i think the key in passing judgement is actually being able to recognize what is harmful and what isn't. What You actually described here (and from what i've read and gathered about You, was dripping in sarcasm) is harmful...though there is a catch. Let's pretend for a moment that You weren't being sarcastic. Does what You would be doing with said submissive turn both parties on? Is it what she is looking for, ultimately? Is she consenting? If You answer yes to all of these, then i can actually voice my concerns, but do it respectfully, which is what so many people forget. Instead of me saying, 'That's wrong, You shouldn't be doing that, period,' i'd try to say, 'i disagree with Your methods, and i do hope that this is consentual, and that You are an honest man about what You offer her/do with her.' See the difference? i have a feeling what the OP was talking about was the little things. The 'OMG how can you stand being called a slut??' or the 'i've never heard of slaves being sold...that's so WRONG!'. Or the many people who outright sh*t on the Goreans for doing what they do. Or the ongoing argument about whether or not 'online' is okay. i hope that all made sense. i just woke up from a long nap. [:D]

CrescentLuna -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:03:04 AM)
[:D] So do I have to be IN your domly dungeon of domination for you to be able to point out who to talk to, or can it be internet training as long as I promise to stay in my cage until told otherwise? And I was just quoting you on the subject of "see, not all doms are insane" in my blog. Tsk.

meatcleaver -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Driver1961 Fair comment Meatcleaver, there's nothing wrong in giving advice but another thing being rude, or illconsidered. It seems man forget manners. I know. I should keep away from online threads because I'm prone to lose it.

enthralled -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:12:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom My kink is to find new naive submissives, tell them S&M isn't about sex, and explain how big and bad the world is and then offer them my collar of protection. I then explain how important training is and proceed to train her to do ATM. I also keep her isolated and not allow her to talk to anyone else who isn't real and I decide who is and isn't real. But Crappy ... you mean to tell me that SM doesnt mean Sex&Masterbation??? Oh wait ... that was in the Castle of Naulsecbirious ... keeper of the velcro collar of WallaWalla ... I keep forgetting that [8\|] .... lol ~enthralled

bklynbbw -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:16:30 AM)
I know you...you changed your name...you are the very first Dom I spoke to when I stumbled across the lifestyle...lol, kidding. But that is exactly what he tried to do with me...thankfully though..while having no experience here..I did have life experience and knew right off that was not right. Then in reading...learning and talking to those with experience I learned I was 100% right to run from that one as fast as possable and continue my learning on my own, trusting my instincts.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:23:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation This post comes from several threads i have read recently. When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions? Over the course of history anything "we" dont understand "we" get rid of it. Cast it aside,judge it,condemn it.OR force them to conform or die. Yes it should be to each their own.But reality is it isnt. The best thing I have found to do is try to educate those who dont understand. The other thing is to stay away from those who dont share your wants,needs,likes,dislikes or desires.

Taylore -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:26:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation This post comes from several threads i have read recently. When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions? This slave tries to not be intolerant or judgemental, though sometimes the feelings to 'defend' arise and can not be controlled. I think it is just human nature to express our own ideas and ideals passionatly, sometimes forgetting that the words we speak or write may come across as harsh to some.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 11:31:45 AM)
quote: When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgmental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions? miss, "Intolerance" is often the perception of the person reading a post, not the poster. If you post that you enjoy any fringe activity and someone calls you disgusting for having that desire it's important that you recognize that their 'disgust' and 'intolerance' was of the activity and NOT you. You would only perceive it as 'intolerance' if you lacked self-confidence and treat their opinion as a personal attack. "Judgment" is important for anyone with integrity. It should be required of people you respect and value as friends or acquaintances. Whether deriving from life experience or book knowledge, judgment is a function of value. Again, disagreeing with someones judgment is not attacking. Pointing out their judgment may need to consider other issues is not attack. But there is importance to judge and determine 'right' and 'wrong'; even if that only holds true for your personal situation. Again, self confidence and the ability to separate factual references from feelings, precludes perceiving another's judgment of you or your activities as a personal attack. But a challenge of your judgment should always been seen as an opportunity to strengthen your position. You only would shrink from it, if you placed validity in the facts presented against your judgment. "Understanding" is not required. It's rationalization in another form. It's easy to 'understand' why a starving person would steal bread from a store, but you can't 'understand' why the president of Enron would steal Millions. Maybe the Enron president like to satiate his hunger at "Dean & DeLuca". In reality there is no difference. Yet we rationalize, or understand. When it comes to some things maybe not understanding isn't so bad. Can you understand the activities of Jeffrey Dahmer? Is NAMBLA just "misunderstood". You may say what is "legal" determines understanding, but "legal" is also a moving target. I can legally buy and smoke marijuana in California if I get a 'medical card'. But the FBI can arrest me on a federal charge. I guess they just don't 'understand'. Then again you can be legal driving 35 MPH on a 65 MPH highway, but you'll never get me to understand why you are doing it. Instead of being concerned with intolerance, judgment, and understanding; the better focus would be on being confident enough in what you are doing to shout your position from the mountain top, then stand up to any challenge. The only person who these issues should be important is the person in the mirror and the person or persons with whom you share, or hope to share, that mirror.

enthralled -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 1:10:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth "Intolerance" is often the perception of the person reading a post, not the poster. If you post that you enjoy any fringe activity and someone calls you disgusting for having that desire it's important that you recognize that their 'disgust' and 'intolerance' was of the activity and NOT you. You would only perceive it as 'intolerance' if you lacked self-confidence and treat their opinion as a personal attack. "Judgment" is important for anyone with integrity. It should be required of people you respect and value as friends or acquaintances. Whether deriving from life experience or book knowledge, judgment is a function of value. Again, disagreeing with someones judgment is not attacking. Pointing out their judgment may need to consider other issues is not attack. But there is importance to judge and determine 'right' and 'wrong'; even if that only holds true for your personal situation. Again, self confidence and the ability to separate factual references from feelings, precludes perceiving another's judgment of you or your activities as a personal attack. But a challenge of your judgment should always been seen as an opportunity to strengthen your position. You only would shrink from it, if you placed validity in the facts presented against your judgment. "Understanding" is not required. It's rationalization in another form. It's easy to 'understand' why a starving person would steal bread from a store, but you can't 'understand' why the president of Enron would steal Millions. Maybe the Enron president like to satiate his hunger at "Dean & DeLuca". In reality there is no difference. Yet we rationalize, or understand. When it comes to some things maybe not understanding isn't so bad. Can you understand the activities of Jeffrey Dahmer? Is NAMBLA just "misunderstood". You may say what is "legal" determines understanding, but "legal" is also a moving target. I can legally buy and smoke marijuana in California if I get a 'medical card'. But the FBI can arrest me on a federal charge. I guess they just don't 'understand'. Then again you can be legal driving 35 MPH on a 65 MPH highway, but you'll never get me to understand why you are doing it. Instead of being concerned with intolerance, judgment, and understanding; the better focus would be on being confident enough in what you are doing to shout your position from the mountain top, then stand up to any challenge. The only person who these issues should be important is the person in the mirror and the person or persons with whom you share, or hope to share, that mirror. Ditto .... what they said!! ~enthralled

marieToo -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 1:25:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Instead of being concerned with intolerance, judgment, and understanding; the better focus would be on being confident enough in what you are doing to shout your position from the mountain top, then stand up to any challenge. The only person who these issues should be important is the person in the mirror and the person or persons with whom you share, or hope to share, that mirror. yes yes yes yes and yes. Instead they announce their "kink" then get pissed when someone thinks its gross. Hey you might like something...guess what...someone else may not like it. You want tolerance for liking something, then we have to tolerate those who dont like it too. Why o why does everyone here seek validation, then go about attacking everyone who wont give it to them. I think that in itself is a kink.

Proprietrix -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 1:32:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions? I have no problem with most of what you’ve mentioned. There are things I am intolerant of. There are things I judge. There are things I don’t understand. There are people I have no respect for. Would we really want everyone to be tolerant of everything that others do? When someone is obviously a predator and abuser, should we still accord them respect? Do we really want to start seeing everyone say "Hey, you victimized an innocent person, but that’s your kink, so it’s ok. To each their own." When we see people promoting stereotypes and myths should we sit back and say "It’s cool. I accept you for it even though it damages a lot of us in the long run." Do we really want to see people not making a judgment call when someone’s life or health could be in jeopardy? Should we shrug and chant "Your kink is not my kink and being tolerant is more important than health and safety." Should we really be taking this whole idea of acceptance so far that it becomes more significant than any other virtue? Exactly how many other virtues must we sacrifice for the sake of acceptance and tolerance?

iliv2servher -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 2:20:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation This post comes from several threads i have read recently. When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions? People who are intolerant and judgemental can be found in any group. It goes with the territory. Sometimes we just have to allow people to vent their feeling and emotions, only because it's not easy changing the mindset of anyone who has their prejudices and biases. In fact, as humans, all of us have prejudices and biases. And who is to say that we are always right and others are wrong? And who is to say that the laws of our land are necessarily right or wrong, especially with regard to social taboos, and how each and every one of us view those laws and taboos? I believe that all of us have our limits and boundaries of social behavior, which may or may not coincide with the beliefs of others. Some of these limits and beliefs are rational and some are not, depending upon who you talk with. That doesn't mean that we do not have a consus of opinion within our own community. It also does not mean that we should not be allowed to express those opinions. An example of boundaries that this community seems to incorporate are those acts that involved minors and animals. I totally agree with these community standards, but it is just my opinion. And then there are fine lines separating the definition of an adult and a child, which our current laws do not adequately address, simply because many of those laws were written decades and often centuries ago, and have nothing to do with the maturity of an individual as opposed to their chronilogical age. There will always be lines of demarcation between one person's belief and another's; and our laws and community standards don't always address those laws, which makes them open to interpretation and debate. In this "free society," we are allowed to discuss and debate all of these issues without fear of reprisal. This is what makes our country a democracy, and that which separates our system of government from all others.

CrappyDom -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 3:37:37 PM)
I am supportive of others when I think they have an honest assesment of what they are doing and why and they choose partners who are clearly capable of making those assessments. Clearly there are many in the scene who are not capable of making those sorts of assessments, just look at how many support collars of protection, which is a proof that many are not capable of making those sort of assessments.

missturbation -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 4:01:20 PM)
To judge, have opinions, be intolerant etc are all human nature - all i am trying to say is that maybe we could all be a bit more respectful in our replies to posts at imes.

CrappyDom -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 4:24:57 PM)
Missturbation, If someone comes in with what I perceive to be honesty and are open about what the issue is, even if it is they killed their last sub by accident and this one is turning blue and they want advice, I am going to give them the best heartfelt advice I can from as humble and honest a place as I can manage. If they come in and clearly are fooling themselves or those they are with I am going to point that out. I have experience both in the scene and in vanilla life and can spot patterns (especially others! LOL) a mile away and yes, I point those out. Most people don't like those sort of things pointed out to them but the sooner they see them the better off they will be. Yes this is paternalistic but again, I do it from as humble and as honest a place as I can manage. I poke holes in the pompous windbags as we all know I am the only one who is a "true" and "real" windbag and thus am grandfathered in.

missturbation -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 4:41:52 PM)
Apologies crappy i wasnt having a dig at you i was just speaking in general.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 5:02:46 PM)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my poor ears!!!!.. lol, wow...that totally sucks for bread buyers all over the world... quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress [:)] yeah I try...but some times i get caught up in judgements: like that guy that needs to shit in womens handbags, but i try to catch myself and work through it. I look at my reaction of disgust as a tell-tale barameter for me, and i try to learn more about myself and what makes me think this or that.... When I was a teenager I had a neighbor that worked at the local grocery store which was in a tourist town. He told me this story I shall never forget, he said this guy was watching female shoppers and rubbing himself covertly, and then he grabbed a loaf of bread and came inside of it after he opened his fly. The security people caught him doing this and they caught it on camera. They made him pay for the bread and told him never to come back... your story just made me think of that... and yes you will never look at bread the same way again.

bandit25 -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 5:07:21 PM)
Of course, I see some intolerance, but what I see more often is someone posting something about his/her kink and when another says s/he doesn't understand it or it isn't for him/her, the first person gets indignant and starts whining about how intolerant everyone is. Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean s/he is intolerant. You express an opinion, I express an opinion. It's often called debate. Sometimes it's called conversation.

marieToo -> RE: Eac to their own (6/20/2006 5:41:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 . You express an opinion, I express an opinion. It's often called debate. Sometimes it's called conversation. Pervert!

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