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The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 3:39:16 PM

egern

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So often when people speak about bdsm, they talk about 'the dark side' or 'their dark side'.

I have never understood what is meant by it.

Something sinister? Unsafe? Illegal? Anti-social? Scary? Destructive? Unaccepted?

I have also head some say that they had to be careful that their dark side did not take over.

So is it another word for it uncontrollable?

Can anyone enlighten me?

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 3:42:39 PM

Lynnxz

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BDSM is not always socially acceptable. They could be referring to that.

Others like to pretend they are big and bad and dangerous.... Those get an eye roll.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 3:56:16 PM

muhly22222

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Depending on context, I interpret it as several things. It could be, like Lynnxz said, somebody trying to sound scary...I react in much the same way. It could also be a reference to an interest in activities that are not always considered acceptable.

It could also be that it's a side of the person that they are interested in, but scared of at the same time.

There are others, but my brain is other places right now, so I can't think of them.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 3:57:02 PM

theshytype

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When I say it, it's in a joking manner aimed towards those that find such behaviors as unacceptable or "abnormal".

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 4:18:41 PM

littlewonder

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They call it the 'dark side' because it's something hidden from society. It's something that is "taboo".

I personally don't see my life as taboo or hidden so I don't see this as dark for me. Actually, just the opposite.

But some get off on bdsm for the reason that it's not normal, it's 'freakish', it's taboo, etc...the same reason people like to shock others or become goths or punks or do weird things. They want to separate themselves from the rest of the world for whatever reason.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 4:29:56 PM

lizi

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I have generally had people use it in a manner that seems like they're giving themselves a pat on the back for being kinky for things that I consider rather pedestrian. It's usually seemed like self-inflation to me, like oooooo, scary person.
Not.
I suppose it could someone saying that they have control issues if they're telling you they have to be careful about letting themselves go.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 5:06:58 PM

Subano

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I just looked up film noir,since someone I was conversing with teaches that, and they speak of film noir as being the dark side too.

Don't take it too seriously. It really means it's not mainstream, and, that it's a part of life that the little kids don't get to see. Adults only.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 5:14:03 PM

LadyPact

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Would you be looking for Eddie and the Cruisers?

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 5:16:24 PM

OsideGirl

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmf8rZfGTKQ

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 5:20:32 PM

DarkSteven

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Mine comes extra dark.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 5:35:12 PM

TNDommeK

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I happen to enjoy a black silk dark side. Oh wait, that's coffee. Still black silk sounds good.

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 6:10:33 PM

InsaneSerenity

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i assume those people who use that term probably think 50 shades of gray was a good book as well...

i mean i do have a dark side, but it consists of fantasies of me setting the world on fire and becoming a mass murderer. Absolutely nothing to do with bdsm or anything that will actually happen.

< Message edited by InsaneSerenity -- 2/6/2013 6:11:36 PM >

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Post #: 12

RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 6:21:14 PM

Akrotiri

Posts: 27
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quote:

ORIGINAL: egern

So often when people speak about bdsm, they talk about 'the dark side' or 'their dark side'.

I don't have the answer but I have the same question.

(in reply to egern)

Post #: 13

RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 6:41:11 PM

Zonie63

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Maybe it's in reference to the song...

"The dark side's calling now, nothing is real."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmf8rZfGTKQ

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Post #: 14

RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 7:17:33 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Could they be talking about the more...."edgy" stuff?

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 8:33:03 PM

TAFKAA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: egern

So often when people speak about bdsm, they talk about 'the dark side' or 'their dark side'.

I have never understood what is meant by it.

Something sinister? Unsafe? Illegal? Anti-social? Scary? Destructive? Unaccepted?

I have also head some say that they had to be careful that their dark side did not take over.

So is it another word for it uncontrollable?

Can anyone enlighten me?

Oh that's easy. Because the BDSM world is full of sad, benighted desperate souls seeking to make themselves feel special.

Consequently you seem people getting into the most ridiculous pissing contests where 'sadists' boast about how extreme they are. When people talk about their 'dark side', it's a bunch of fucking masturbatory nonsense in which they try and stroke their own egos by implying they have the evil desires of a closet serial killer and that they have to be careful to 'keep it under control'.

I'll tell you here and now. They're foolish children playing idiotic games of self-delusion. Nothing more, nothing less.

It's kind of like when insecure women boast about how they'll cause harm to men who offend them. Given the disparity in both ability and attitude between men and women, their ability to carry out such fantasies is pretty close to fucking nil in the vast majority of cases. And yet they persist with this nonsense as though they think it does anything other than telegraph their own impotence.

Similarly, people who boast about their dark side are telegraphing their own mediocrity and just how utterly vanilla they are.

< Message edited by TAFKAA -- 2/6/2013 8:36:46 PM >

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 9:47:03 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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This might help to explain why they like the dark side.

Attachment (1)

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RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 9:50:05 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
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That's the FIRST thing that came to mind... that song!
Second was Pink FLoyd and the "Dark Side of the Moon!"

GMTA, LadyPact! : )

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Would you be looking for Eddie and the Cruisers?

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Post #: 18

RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 9:55:24 PM

EsotericLady

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I've been wondering what keeps you on this site, TAFKAA.... : )

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern

So often when people speak about bdsm, they talk about 'the dark side' or 'their dark side'.

I have never understood what is meant by it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA
Oh that's easy. Because the BDSM world is full of sad, benighted desperate souls seeking to make themselves feel special.

... as though they think it does anything other than telegraph their own impotence.

(in reply to TAFKAA)

Post #: 19

RE: The Dark Side? - 2/6/2013 9:56:48 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

Then again, not....

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

This might help to explain why they like the dark side.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 20

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