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lilcracker -> RE: New Owner (2/10/2013 5:53:26 AM)
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I'll put this out there first---I don't identify as a slave or submissive---nothing other than having a submissive personality. My partner does not identify as a Dom, Master or Owner, but has a Dominant personality. However, (as a mentioned in another thread), he leads the roost and I follow. I do whatever he asks, without an argument, but it must be a reasonable request. (meaning if his request will toss our lives into a downward spiral it's unreasonable). He has never asked anything unreasonable. MY definition of slave pretty much defines my role in the relationship although I choose not to use the title. The only difference I think is that I ALWAYS have the choice to refuse, subconciously I know this---I just choose not to refuse any reasonable request. I think my background in this lifestyle has assisted me in ways such as not arguing, keeping my voice lowered, not being disrespectful (although on occasion I do hear, "are you being disrespectful?") but no amount of 'training' can assist me in obeying. I obey simply because I truly care for this man and I want nothing more than to make him happy. In no way am I pushed towards obeying because there will be some sort of punishment. I do it because I want to. I can't say that I could have this relationship with another person because although I have been in relationships with a traditional collar, it seemed then I was going through the motions simply because it was expected and this is way different. I enjoy it because I make him happy, and sometimes when I do things he asks me to do for MY benefit---I usually admit, "I did not want to do that but you were right in asking me to do it."
Now here is the kicker---our life is very VANILLA. I think at the core most people have a lot more vanilla than they are willing to admit. We both work, we watch tv, we play chess (and I lose because I make a move assuming he will fall for my deliberate set up and he doesn't), we make meals together, we both do chores.. When I think of vanilla though I think of it in the context of sex. With us our sex life is vanilla as well.
This relationship is fairly new---we knew each other for a while prior to dating, but we have only lived together less than a year. So only time will tell but honestly, THIS is the type of life and THE type of partner I have always wanted.
So in answer to your post----I really don't think that anyone can be 'trained' to be a slave. I think it comes from in here (points to chest). The only training involved it what is expected. In my own relationship there was no formal training (and there was no consent asked or given), just over time he would say, "I like things done this way," and I do it. And sometimes it took getting used to...such as the way the laundry is washed---and I have been doing my own laundry since way before he was out of high school---because he is 9 yrs in my junior. As for legal ramifications I doubt here anyone with badges are going to be knocking on my door because he tells me how to make the bed and although it is not the way I am used to making it, I do it his way.
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