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Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 12:16:35 PM

carde

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Just a quick question or observation, however you would like look at it, and i promise (at least from my end of this) that i am not whininig, i am truly curious.

i had taken down my profile for a bit to take a breather, and just recently put up a new one under the same nick as before. i have received a few emails from "Pro" Dommes looking to meet and for money and such. Today i got an email from a "Lesbian Pro Domme" inviting me to her dungeon for a play party, it was one of those "Dear Sir/sub" cut and paste kind of things. i sent a quick response saying that i was not interested and please remove me from your email list. (instead of the "f**k off that i would have preferred). i shortly got an email back ... in all caps .. saying that i was rude and did not read her whole ad. The one in HUGE letters and caps. Then my email was blocked and i wated a perfectly good retort.

My question is (i got so wound up there again that i almost forgot):
These kind of people claim to be pillars of the community (D/s), and well respected. Is this in fact true and i am missing something here, or am i flypaper for freaks?

I truly am trying to understand.

Thanks for listening.
carde

Post #: 1

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 12:24:41 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

In response to the OP:

People are people, wherever you go, and have to be judged as individuals.

Consider the nature of a Pro Domme, both to be dommy and to make money, and evaluate their communications in light of both. Many take the approach that they must assume an uber-aggressive pose to get your business. And it is a business to them. Sure, they may love their work, but they're not getting paid to love you.

I have several friends who are male subs like yourself. I think they would tell you that all of you fall into a certain demographic that the internet would dub "generally an easy mark". As a result, you get far more of the crappy come-ons than, say, a male Dom would. Or at least, you get them of a different flavor.

Good luck finding your way.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 2

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 1:03:55 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

There are rude, greedy, dumbasses everywhere you go either IRL or on the 'net. Best thing to do is ignore them and not let it bother you. They are not pillars of the BDSM community, they are looking to make money and lets face it quite a few men are willing to dish it out for their services otherwise there wouldn't be so many of them in business.

BTW I looked at your profile, you sound like a real sweety, to bad I don't get down to NC anymore.

~Lashra

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 3

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 1:25:48 PM

carde

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Thank You :)

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 4

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 1:31:22 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: carde

[Snip]

My question is (i got so wound up there again that i almost forgot):
These kind of people claim to be pillars of the community (D/s), and well respected. Is this in fact true and i am missing something here, or am i flypaper for freaks?

Anyone can claim that they are "pillars of the community," but you really have to speak with those who know this person before you pass judgement. I'm not saying that she wasn't overreacting to your request to be taken off of her E-mail list, but only to emphasize that one person's actions do not speak for the entire "community."

After all, it was only a party invitation, and nothing to be alarmed about. It happens to all of us.

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 5

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 1:53:54 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

In my opinion I would never ever consider any pro to be a pillar of the BDSM comunity. So don't let her get to you.

Her response to your request to be removed from her mailing list was wothout a doubt most unprofessional, and likely to be someone not worth doing bussiness with.

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 6

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 2:02:47 PM

missalice

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

I am...

A professional Dominant...

A lifestyle Dominant.

I consider myself to be inexperienced in comparison to who I would like to be... and very experienced in comparison to most people I meet.

I have clients, and I have submissives. There's a difference. I took a subbie girl out two nights ago, paid for the entire date. I have a subbie boy who hasn't had a job in three years. But the average do-me-boy who wants me to tie him up pays $300/hour for my skills.

...So... Don't blame Pro-Dommes for one stupid over emotional bitch. Please? All of you? I really resent being lumped into a category. I'm an open-minded person. I'm always delighted to meet more lifestyle people. And yes, I expect to get paid for casual play, I expect to get paid to teach new subbies how to find their submissive side.... But I don't consider myself greedy. I'd like to think I give back as much as I take.

I consider myself to be... blossoming into a pillar of the BDSM community. I would never dare to call myself a pillar for another 10 years, until I have fully explored the nature of BDSM and have gotten my degree in sexual psychology.

So anyway. There's a reason I say I'm a professional Lifestyle Dominant.... not just a pro-Domme... Don't judge us all by those who are inexperienced and unprofessional.

_____________________________

--Miss Alice
http://www.aliceskary.com
http://www.myspace.com/aliceskary

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 7

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 2:24:48 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: carde

i had taken down my profile for a bit to take a breather, and just recently put up a new one under the same nick as before. i have received a few emails from "Pro" Dommes looking to meet and for money and such. Today i got an email from a "Lesbian Pro Domme" inviting me to her dungeon for a play party, it was one of those "Dear Sir/sub" cut and paste kind of things. i sent a quick response saying that i was not interested and please remove me from your email list. (instead of the "f**k off that i would have preferred). i shortly got an email back ... in all caps .. saying that i was rude and did not read her whole ad. The one in HUGE letters and caps. Then my email was blocked and i wasted a perfectly good retort.

My question is (i got so wound up there again that i almost forgot):
These kind of people claim to be pillars of the community (D/s), and well respected. Is this in fact true and i am missing something here, or am i flypaper for freaks?

Carde,

There are some very loose interpretations out there of what constitutes a "Pro Domme". I have seen more than my share of parasitic and narcissistic females who don the mask of "Mistress" or "Goddess" with the motive to lure well meaning submissive males into a web of soul-crushing exploitation. As I recently stated in a previous thread, male desire can easily be capitalized upon with relatively little effort, once one has gotten past certain societal and moral folkways.

The simple truth remains that there are many true blue Mistresses out there who accept and enjoy the company of authentically servile males. Some of them are seen as "pros" and some of them are not, even if they do accept tribute.

If you are flypaper for freaks, then I am too. I've had my share of off-the-wall comments and contacts from supposedly "submissive" entities who went up in a puff of smoke (or angry fire), in addition to seeing an increase in the encroaching tentacles of commercial interests on community boards like this, posing as personal profiles with those slick, enticing images that look like candy coated shots out of a porn magazine. Alas, there is a lot of game playing going on across the internet. I just block the players as they come.

< Message edited by amayos -- 6/20/2006 2:26:46 PM >

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 8

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 2:33:37 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

I can think of worse ways to be driven "nutz."

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 9

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:01:56 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

Your age does not make you a pillar of a community today, niether will it make you such ten years from now. Or even in twenty.

quote:

until I have fully explored the nature of BDSM and have gotten my degree in sexual psychology.

<LOL> A BDSM therapist or psychologist. I can see it now, hey look everyone I'm a pro-domme and a lifestyle domme, now I am a domme therapist. You can pay me, I'm safe and skilled, look, just look at all the titles I have claimed. What's next a licensed leather masuer??

quote:

There's a reason I say I'm a professional Lifestyle Dominant.... not just a pro-Domme... Don't judge us all by those who are inexperienced and unprofessional.

Longer titles really don't impress me. At the age of 19, as stated in your add, I have to seriously question just how much experiance you truely have. Unless you're going to claim that you were active in such activites when you were under the age of consent? Keep in mind that some jurisdictions clearly define what activities appy, and which ones negate the consent laws.

On a personal side I love the hair.

< Message edited by MichMasochist -- 6/20/2006 3:08:39 PM >

(in reply to missalice)

Post #: 10

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:06:02 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

Cool, like the way you said it.

I'm not alone in the emotional victimization category.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 11

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:11:16 PM

missalice

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

MichMasochist --

.....I intend to get a degree in sexual psychology because I intend to study abnormal sexual behaviour.

Like I said, I don't consider myself highly experienced. Quite honestly, I wish I could find a leather family to train with for at least 10 or 20 years. I won't consider myself "experienced" until I've been playing for at least 30 years.

As is, I had my first submissive at age 14. I was "playing" earlier than that. I didn't take my first professional session, i.e., paid session, until a year ago.

....Would you take some time to get to know me before making assumptions and judging? I am not arrogant about my skills -- merely ASKING that you people don't lump me in with everyone else.

I've had the honour of Dominating a player who has been playing for 30+ years before. And you know what I get from sessions like that? I learn.

I will always be learning.

And I'm not trying to impress you. I'm trying to clarify who I am. It's not a title -- it's a description.

As far as being a pillar of the community: I consider being INVOLVED in the community becoming a so-called pillar. I try, as is, but don't have enough experience to consider myself as such. In fact, at no point would I arrogantly describe myself as such. If and when I am a pillar of the BDSM community -- whatever the fuck that means -- .... someone else will have to inform me.

Any QUESTIONS I could answer -- instead of having to fight off accusations? This is a really hostile conversation.......! My character is being put at stake because of my career -- by people who don't even know me. Not pleasant.

_____________________________

--Miss Alice
http://www.aliceskary.com
http://www.myspace.com/aliceskary

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 12

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:20:33 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Pro Dommes driving you nutz?!

Nah...they do their thing, I do mine. What is a pillar of the community anyway? Someone who it is assumed that they are an integral part of the foundation of a community.

There are so many communities maybe she is in hers, maybe you are in yours, but in the BDSM over-all community I don't think any one person no matter how grandiose their claims, if removed, would effect the structural viability of the community.

Dont let it bug ya...

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 13

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:22:11 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Pro's don't drive me nutz, but then again, since I flag as a Dominant, I'm not in their target demographic.

As for being pillars, the proof is in the pudding. Some I know _are_ pillars. Generous with their time, resources, play spaces, etc, donating much to support their local and the national BDSM community. Some, not so much. Just like some non-professionals are pretty nice people, and some are asses, some are active in their local communities and some wouldn't socialize within their own community for neither love nor money.

Evaluate them one at a time, just as you would any other social or business contact.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 14

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 3:50:20 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missalice

As is, I had my first submissive at age 14. I was "playing" earlier than that. I didn't take my first professional session, i.e., paid session, until a year ago.

Oh god I knew it. She would make this claim. Well let's see my first girlfriend was spoiled and used to having everthing her way. O.K. so that must mean she was actually a domme and I was into the lifestyle, having had my first session when I was thirteen. But then again maybe I was nothing more than a horny little pervert who simply licked it when she sat on me. Oops, forgive my spelling, is that liked or licked? ;)

quote:

I intend to get a degree in sexual psychology because I intend to study abnormal sexual behaviour.

Ah so then your actually here to study us, exploiting us? Presumeably by pretending to be one of us?

Anyway honey maybe I should give you the benefit of the doubt. But so far you fit the behavioral profile of a pretentious poser. Or could I be wrong?

(in reply to missalice)

Post #: 15

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 4:45:57 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MichMasochist

Anyway honey maybe I should give you the benefit of the doubt. But so far you fit the behavioral profile of a pretentious poser. Or could I be wrong?

If previous performance is any indication, it's very likely.

Missalice, you can safely ignore MichMasochist. He's one of our resident "pro haters" and is completely harmless.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 16

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 4:56:05 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: MichMasochist

Anyway honey maybe I should give you the benefit of the doubt. But so far you fit the behavioral profile of a pretentious poser. Or could I be wrong?

If previous performance is any indication, it's very likely.

Missalice, you can safely ignore MichMasochist. He's one of our resident "pro haters" and is completely harmless.

~stef

I was watching for MichMasochist to jump in on this one. It just burns his nuts to no end that an attractive young lady can earn money providing domination services to those who want to pay. It drives him so insane. You have to consider the source when he does get onto his anti-pro rant. I don't know if it's because he's bitter he cannot make income from his kinky desires, or if he is angry because women will not dominate him UNLESS he pays.

Those subs that seem to get so bent out of shape about pro femdoms tend to be the ones that have been miserably unsuccessful in attempts at relationships, and the only domination they can ever hope to have is pay-for-play.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 17

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 5:48:30 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

I have noticed more often now a days that there is agrowing number of young woman promoting professional domination on cam . For a small tribute, they will humilate and give you a level of domination that is possiable when using only a cam. Like
any of these or the professionals out here, they are offering service to those who are interest in their talents. So they make money? So what? Really if you are turned off by this, don't respond to them . They are not having sex usually with their clients. They offer a service for those who have not found a realtionship with a lifestyle Mistress in their area? And in all do respect, depending on their professional talents , they may open up the world to some subs who just might not get the chance otherwise to explore certain fetishes. It is not to say all professionals are equal, but neither are all of us..

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 18

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 6:11:23 PM

MistressSonya

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missalice

I am...

A professional Dominant...

A lifestyle Dominant.

I consider myself to be inexperienced in comparison to who I would like to be... and very experienced in comparison to most people I meet.

I have clients, and I have submissives. There's a difference. I took a subbie girl out two nights ago, paid for the entire date. I have a subbie boy who hasn't had a job in three years. But the average do-me-boy who wants me to tie him up pays $300/hour for my skills.

...So... Don't blame Pro-Dommes for one stupid over emotional bitch. Please? All of you? I really resent being lumped into a category. I'm an open-minded person. I'm always delighted to meet more lifestyle people. And yes, I expect to get paid for casual play, I expect to get paid to teach new subbies how to find their submissive side.... But I don't consider myself greedy. I'd like to think I give back as much as I take.

I consider myself to be... blossoming into a pillar of the BDSM community. I would never dare to call myself a pillar for another 10 years, until I have fully explored the nature of BDSM and have gotten my degree in sexual psychology.

So anyway. There's a reason I say I'm a professional Lifestyle Dominant.... not just a pro-Domme... Don't judge us all by those who are inexperienced and unprofessional.

HereHere MissAlice
     I too am a Pro Domme... I have personal subs and I also have clients. after awhile you see alot of slamming of Pro's. and before anyone jumps on me about not saying I am a Pro in my profile, I am not on here to get clients. I have NEVER asked for money from any one on here.. I have been offered money from someone on here. If I want a client I have a web site for that.
     and in answer to MichMasochist opinion about Pro's not being a pillar in the comunity.. I have been the comunity for a long time and am in Very good standings and well liked in the comunity, and have hosted many parties for the comunity
     carde I am sorry that someone was rude and nasty to you, but that isnt just because she was a Pro Domme.. it was because she was a rude person to begin with. I wish you all the luck in the world finding the One for you
Mistress Sonya

(in reply to missalice)

Post #: 19

RE: Pro Dommes driving you nutz?! - 6/20/2006 6:34:29 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: carde

Just a quick question or observation, however you would like look at it, and i promise (at least from my end of this) that i am not whininig, i am truly curious.

i had taken down my profile for a bit to take a breather, and just recently put up a new one under the same nick as before. i have received a few emails from "Pro" Dommes looking to meet and for money and such. Today i got an email from a "Lesbian Pro Domme" inviting me to her dungeon for a play party, it was one of those "Dear Sir/sub" cut and paste kind of things. i sent a quick response saying that i was not interested and please remove me from your email list. (instead of the "f**k off that i would have preferred). i shortly got an email back ... in all caps .. saying that i was rude and did not read her whole ad. The one in HUGE letters and caps. Then my email was blocked and i wated a perfectly good retort.

My question is (i got so wound up there again that i almost forgot):
These kind of people claim to be pillars of the community (D/s), and well respected. Is this in fact true and i am missing something here, or am i flypaper for freaks?

I truly am trying to understand.

Thanks for listening.
carde

I've gotten a few of these types of messages too carde. Most have been polite but yes, a few have been less than polite but only AFTER I've responded with a "thanks but no thanks". I just chalk it up to the individual. I guess even a pro can get 'hurt' by rejection.

Hope you don't mind my saying, I agree on the profile comments btw...it's very nice. Wish I could have written mine that well! Good Luck to you!

(in reply to carde)

Post #: 20

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