RE: Do you trust your instincts?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Do you trust your instincts?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you trust your instincts?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:47:53 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

My jerkmeter is broken. I'm careful about letting anyone close now.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:14:24 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person?

Absolute. I trust my instincts more than I trust anything else - whether they're screaming or purring.

quote:

Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with?

A couple of my closest, longest lasting friendships have been with people for whom I felt an instant and instinctual Connection when we met. The best play sessions I've ever had, have been with top/sadist/dom types with whom I felt an instinctive connection when we met, though it was a different sort of "connection" that was felt than with close friends. My first (and to date Best) ds dynamic relationship was with a man who I felt that sort of instant connection to and trust in. I have also met people who, the instant I met them, made my proverbial hackles raise on the back of my neck.

quote:

When you look back on the mistakes you've made, do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?

Every time I look back on my mistakes, it is in the hope that I learn something from the experience. It would be stupidity to look back on them simply for the purpose of beating myself up emotionally, after all. One thing that has been consistant with certain types of situations - when I listen to my instincts, I can't go wrong. If I ignore my instincts for whatever reason - I end up screwing myself. (Yes, I have finally learned the lesson there, and now pay strict attention to my instincts in that specific type of situation, regardless of inducement Not to do so! LOL)

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:22:25 PM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Even though I am sure this will come back and bite me in the ass at some point for posting.... I find that I will do it anyway.....

Yes.. I do trust my instinct.. it is usually right..however.. I do not always listen to it..and that is when I get in the most trouble.

Case in point now.. my instinct told me not to post on this thread...because of a previous incident..but...here I am any way.

Not sure if that answers the question...but I tried.. ~Ticia

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:23:15 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

MistressOfGa

Do I listen to it? Not always. I am a firm believer of altering lifes plans for myself. If I know that something is going to happen that may cause me heartbreak, I don't always take the path of least resistence. I will go into the situation with my eyes wide open and damn all the warning bells and whistles. Like someone posted here not to long ago, it is through suffering that we truly discover the wisdom inside of us. Does this make me a sucker for pain? Maybe, but if the pain causes me to learn from my experience, then it is welcomed.

quote:

BuxomGoddess714

Every single time someone has betrayed or wronged me, I sensed it coming all along. I made a very conscious CHOICE to give them the benefit of the doubt, hoped they would rise to their higher self, step up to the plate, or maybe become a better person for knowing me.

quote:

meatcleaver

I don't so much hate her for what she did to me but for the fact I find it difficult to trust people any more.

Wow, so many incredible insights in the answers here.. Thank you for sharing. After reading all of the replies I've come to realize that I've done the same thing. I have very strong instincts and for whatever reason I have pushed it aside even knowing that I was walking into something that would most likely break my heart later. I always just blamed it on being stubborn (I used to believe that I could "fix" people). And looking back in the light so many of you have cast on it I understand that each and every time I did that I learned so much about myself.

I understand that heartache is never a good thing, but I have to wonder if none of us ever experienced it would we be the people we are today? Would we have learned as much as we did if it had been a less painful venue?

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:30:06 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisTicia

Even though I am sure this will come back and bite me in the ass at some point for posting.... I find that I will do it anyway.....

Yes.. I do trust my instinct.. it is usually right..however.. I do not always listen to it..and that is when I get in the most trouble.

Case in point now.. my instinct told me not to post on this thread...because of a previous incident..but...here I am any way.

Not sure if that answers the question...but I tried.. ~Ticia

Ticia... you mean submissives and slaves don't like getting bit in the butt? lol

And yes, you answered the questions perfectly... I'm finding there are a lot of people that have that gut feeling and still proceed regardless. At one point in my life I most likely would have replied to that with something similar to an "I told you so" attitude, but this has really opened my eyes. Any time you go into something with your eyes open whether it's following your instincts or completely ignoring them.. you learn something about yourself. I think MistressOfGa put it best when she said that she doesn't always take the path of least resistance... I think that's just an awesome way of saying it!

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:30:54 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

I understand that heartache is never a good thing, but I have to wonder if none of us ever experienced it would we be the people we are today? Would we have learned as much as we did if it had been a less painful venue?

I would not be the person that I am today. Maybe I would be sweeter, maybe I would be more forgiving. But if I lived my life wondering what might have been, I would never see what could be.

Good thread SJ.

_____________________________

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:37:31 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I would have rather learnt the easy way. It's cheaper too!

I actually showed some people some emails at the time and I was told to not even go there but hell, I knew better. Doh!

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 4:39:26 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I trust my instincts but they're only about 50/50. When something doesn't feel right and I do it anyway, I'm always sorry.
But there have been times that something felt so right and it wasn't.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 5:00:25 PM

BuxomGoddess714

Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline

The times I have gone against my instincts it was a calculated risk and I knew exactly what I was doing. Sometimes this lifestyle is like extreme sports. Some of my relationships have been like surfing Masters at Pipeline (that is bone crushing surf for non surfers out there). You know it might kill you, but you risk it for the experience. I have always been a lover of extremes, a huge risk taker and my Mother always called me her "Little Dare Devil" cuz I'd jump off roofs, fight boys, ride motorcycles alone and do insane things. When I see these bad seeds coming with their heartbreak behind them, I ask myself "do I want to ride that wave??? Even if it means getting my bones drilled on the bottom of the ocean???" and sometimes the answer is "I know I am going to eat sand, but BONZI I'm on it" Its always a heart pumping thrilling wild ride with a deadly wipe out. Just like I anticipated. I think I'm getting too old for some of this tho... It seems to take too long to recover from my injuries now. This is a great thread.

(in reply to bandit25)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 5:04:23 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess714

The times I have gone against my instincts it was a calculated risk and I knew exactly what I was doing. Sometimes this lifestyle is like extreme sports. Some of my relationships have been like surfing Masters at Pipeline (that is bone crushing surf for non surfers out there). You know it might kill you, but you risk it for the experience. I have always been a lover of extremes, a huge risk taker and my Mother always called me her "Little Dare Devil" cuz I'd jump off roofs, fight boys, ride motorcycles alone and do insane things. When I see these bad seeds coming with their heartbreak behind them, I ask myself "do I want to ride that wave??? Even if it means getting my bones drilled on the bottom of the ocean???" and sometimes the answer is "I know I am going to eat sand, but BONZI I'm on it" Its always a heart pumping thrilling wild ride with a deadly wipe out. Just like I anticipated. I think I'm getting too old for some of this tho... It seems to take too long to recover from my injuries now. This is a great thread.

<Quick hi-jack>
BG,
We could have been sisters. Your mother sounds like my mother. My family is Blackfoot. Yours?

_____________________________

(in reply to BuxomGoddess714)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 5:09:32 PM

kickinchick

Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Of course, I think we all must trust our instincts...especially if we are independent, no matter how submissive.
However, if another Dom walks inandstinks...I'm putting a roundhouse just above his left eye.

Winks.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 6:25:46 PM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

I trust my safety instinct it doesn't let me down. However, my oh yes we're going to get along instinct has been a little disappointing in that I've felt this huge click online and then met and found that it was a friend click, not a relationship click. Meaning zero chemistry, but a nice person for a friend.

(in reply to kickinchick)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 6:28:52 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person? Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with? Or has your "gut" feeling betrayed you in the past and you no longer trust that feeling? When you look back on the mistakes you've made do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?

Jewel

I trust my instincts!! The only time they failed me is when I didn't listen to them.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 6:45:59 PM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Like sharainks, I trust my intuition on the safety aspect when meeting someone. I can tell if they are a "good" person in that sense. Where my judgement has failed in the past is knowing whether they were "good for me."

But, like many of the other's have expressed I have always learned from those relationships and tried to do better the next time around. I try to always stay positive and open, often wearing my heart on my sleeve but that is just who I am.

~shy
-------------------------------------------------------
May all who tread here find what they seek!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 6:59:19 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Yes, I always trust my instincts.... I can always count on them that every single time I ignore them, that's going to eventually come back and bite me in the ass, usually sooner than later <sigh>

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 7:11:15 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have looked back when I have misjudged things and it turned out I had not misjudged at all, I chose to ignore red flags and intuition. I have gotten to the point in my life where I very much trust myself to make good choices for me. It is a great feeling.

I think this was one of my problems. Looking back, there were so many red flags to suggest she was not as honest and trustworthy as what she made herself out to be, I really only have myself to blame. There were enough signs to suggest she was never as good as her word.

MC, I am soooo glad to read that from you. I have read from you time and again how this lady hurt you. It makes me feel so bad. I have had my trust abused too and there is a reason they say hindsight is 20/20, because we look back and see the things that would have warned us. It may have cost you 1000s of dollars, but perhaps the lesson was worth this cost if you learned to trust your intuition. There is a reason we have it after all. If you learn to trust that part of yourself, you may learn to trust in others again one day.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 9:25:41 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I find my instincts are pretty dead on most the time. And when things go wrong, when i look back it's because i blatantly disregarded my own feelings and went with what i "thought" i should do, in stead of what my mind and body were telling me to do.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 10:13:26 PM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Yup, I trust my instincts, nope I don't always follow them, I've done the wide eyes open and the crash and burn, but enjoyed the ride too. Twice, (that I can recall at the moment) I have been so totally off base when I first met two people. The first impression was just awful, they both felt the same of me. Now, many years later, they are my best and dearest friends.
There are alot of wonderful people in the world, it's just being able to spot them when they cross our path that so many of us have a problem with.
Now that I'm all mushy and stuff, I'd go over and hug Meat, but don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I'll just request that someone he knows better than I go and give him one.

~Big

____________________
ahhhh I see sounds

(in reply to akisha)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/21/2006 2:31:21 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear ShiftedJewel, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I do honor my gut instincts. I believe when humans first walked the earth, we were given nature's tools to survive.

Just like creatures on earth today, we all have primal instincts that kick in when survival is at risk. What humans have over primal instincts, is the ability to override the primal and make a choice, which might be totally against the 'gut' instincts that warn.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

Lady Hugs summed it up beautifully. I follow my gut instincts and they have never steered me wrong. Sometimes its difficult to get the heart/head to follow, but in the long run it is worth it.

~Lashra

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/21/2006 2:43:49 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I always trust My instincts. Many times something felt very wrong
or very right and I have had to make a split second decision.
Later the reasons for those feelings were revealed. The reptile
part of the brain evolved long before the human part...

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

Profile

Post #: 40