Qupqugiak -> RE: Message for Black Masters/Misress (2/16/2013 5:13:15 PM)
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This absolutely reminds of an event from my own life. I was married for several years to a woman of Asian descent (ethnically Han Chinese, parents from Taiwan), and a coworker friend of my was a self-identified Asian fetishist. I didn't tell him that my wife was of Asian descent, so that I could watch the BOOM, as it were... I wasn't disappointed! After the smoke cleared, and he composed himself, he went on and on about how pretty she is, etc, to the point of absolute creepiness. Eventually, I told him, "Did you know that there's a secret to getting an Asian girlfriend?" "REALLY?!" "Yes. You have to imagine that they're just like everybody else and treat them the same. You have to pretend that they have their own hopes and fears, experience joy and sadness just like anyone else." His response: "And that works?!" It's a silly story (100% true, though), but illustrates the point: generally speaking, my experience has been that people dislike having just one aspect of who they are fetishized. It's one thing to enjoy an aesthetic, but if someone gets the sense that that's ALL you like about them, or ALL you care about, it's a huge turn off. Just my $0.02 Q
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