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To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 2:41:55 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
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Hello Mistress's,

So there was a thread on another sight discussing about a submissive protecting his Dominant.

So before I ask the question let me share to you where I stand which is the following.....

I have heard of some Dominants that feel the submissive needs to be protected by Her. To me personally it would be an amazing thing to be the one protected and very much a different change in pace. I would so much love that not only because it would be a huge turn on, but also it would be nice to be the one protected instead of doing the protecting. In general I want to have someone tell me it is all going to be ok when things are down.

At the same time I also have heard from some Dominants that love having that leash on someone who once commanded to becomes protective of its Owner. So in essence the submissive is kept at bay by his Dominant alone. I am an alpha submissive because I have that streak once in a while especially when someone treats someone I care for wrong.

In the end I fall in between both because I want to be protected but also willing to protect when desired by my Dominant.

My question is where do you stand on the subject and why?

Humbly,

alphaminuz

Post #: 1

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 3:05:15 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

Im coming at this from a dominant female's perspective. I like a bit of both personally.

As a dominant, I feel that its my duty to look out for my submissive's emotional, mental, and physical well-being. As a woman, I tend to be a nurturer and supportive soul as well. So if you were mine and it was pretty dark in your world at the moment, a kind word that everything was going to turn out okay is the least I could do. Im the type that if you mess with someone I care about, be prepared to have me say something about it. Blame it on my heritage or how I was raised, but in my world..we take care of our own and if you have trouble with one, you've got trouble with the lot of us.

On the flip side, its nice to feel protected too. Not necessarily because I commanded it, but just because he felt that strongly about me that he wants to look out for me. I may be dominant and pretty independent/stubborn/strong/assertive/(fill in the adjective), but Im still a woman under all of that and it means something to me when someone has my back. Do I need it? Probably not. But is it appreciated? Oh hell yeah

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Post #: 2

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 3:16:13 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
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@SeekingTrinity:

Thank you for your input

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Post #: 3

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 3:24:31 PM

msjustlooking

Posts: 28
Joined: 12/10/2011
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Its both for me also. I am a pretty protective person by nature. So if you mess with anyone I truly care about (and that includes any submissives or slaves who may be under my control) you will see my bad side. However I have also noticed that most submissives, no matter how sub they claim to be, are generally very protective of their Dommes. Maybe its not a matter of Domme vs sub. Maybe its all the same when it comes to people we care about. Someone once asked me was there anything more dangerous than a mother protecting her child and I told them possibly a child protecting his mother.

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RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 3:27:41 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
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MsJustlooking

" I told them possibly a child protecting his mother."

so very true

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Post #: 5

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 4:08:18 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Yep, it's both. I'm even really, really tempted to want to say it's a Dominant trait, but I don't think that's the whole story. For points in the Dominant trait category, it just seems like a logical conclusion. If someone belongs to Me, it's such an automatic response because it comes down to protecting your own. Why wouldn't I want to protect what was Mine? It's not a lack of ability for him to protect himself. It's just a part of My family being the most important people in the world to Me and who wouldn't protect the people who matter most to them?

That's exactly why it isn't a Dominant trait. That same feeling can be found just as frequently in submissives and people who are vanilla. Loyalty or a protective nature are qualities that nobody has a corner on the market just because of how they identify. I know plenty of submissives, both male and female, that would rip somebody a new one if they felt the person in their life was being treated poorly.

From where I stand, a protective streak is a pretty good trait for a partner to have. No matter what role or orientation that partner may happen to be.

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RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 4:10:28 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
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LadyPact

Very true

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Post #: 7

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 5:26:35 PM

TheLilSquaw1

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Joined: 2/13/2013
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For ME it's a bit of both.

Frankly, I wouldn't want a submissive or partner period who wouldn't at least try "protect" me if a situation arose.

However, I also am very protective me and mine.
That is simply part of my personality make up.

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Post #: 8

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 5:31:45 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
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TheLilSquaw1
so true

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Post #: 9

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 6:20:50 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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I think protection, comfort, yes even coddling are a two way street in a good relationship. Kink I think has the ability to tilt societal norms. The tall strong guy can be sub, nurtured, & protected as much as the opposite. I think a sign of a good & strong relationship is that you want to be protective & see the best happens for a partner whether its M,F,domme, or sub
After being part of a family where property of USN is tattooed at birth I have shocked hard core vets by standing in front of them & ripping someone a new one that imagined disrespecting "my family". The wide eyed comment of "remind me not to ever piss you off" I always find fascinating. Some things I guess are natural, lioness for her cubs, mother for her child, successful relationship their partner, sister for brother...on second thought I may have answered why I will stand in front of vets...I can call my brother a dumb ass freak but anyone else doing so would be met with the same fury..

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Post #: 10

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/13/2013 6:24:03 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
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theRose4U

That was an epic statement

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Post #: 11

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/15/2013 10:42:46 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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alpha,

you are asking some excellent questions! This will definitely raise your status on the boards here ... notice too that you are getting answers from some really great people here. Well done!

For Me, it is both. I see it as My role as a Dominant to nurture and protect My boy, particularly emotionally, to build him up, to make him an even better/stronger/happier man than when I found him. However, My chance of protecting him physically isn't great unless it means grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away from the oncoming car or yelling "there's a crocodile behind you!" or whatever! It is far more likely that he would be able to protect Me physically should the need arise and that would make Me feel very good and very safe.

Like the other Ladies here ... once he becomes MINE and I am his to serve ... the mutual protection buttons switch on and stay on!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 12

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/15/2013 11:44:46 PM

SomethingCatchy

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Joined: 7/29/2008
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I've always felt that my personality was more 'mother bear' than anything else. Fiercely protective over the people I care for even from a young age. Sadly FEELING protected hasn't happened very often despite being around capable people, but when someone does create that feeling of 'I'm being cared for and protected' I almost worship the ground they walk on since it happens so so rarely. I can remember only a handful of times where I felt someone had my back despite me having theirs all the time.

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RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/16/2013 10:53:48 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I've always felt that my personality was more 'mother bear' than anything else. Fiercely protective over the people I care for even from a young age. Sadly FEELING protected hasn't happened very often despite being around capable people, but when someone does create that feeling of 'I'm being cared for and protected' I almost worship the ground they walk on since it happens so so rarely. I can remember only a handful of times where I felt someone had my back despite me having theirs all the time.

This reminds me of quote on original thread, the only thing more fierce than a mother protecting their cub is a cub protecting its mother. This SHOULD be a 2 way street.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 2/16/2013 10:54:31 AM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 14

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/16/2013 12:45:33 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

I agree but should isn't always the way things actually are!

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 15

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/17/2013 1:22:30 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I agree but should isn't always the way things actually are!

Yes but that statement explains why lions eat their young

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 16

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/18/2013 4:57:12 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

alpha,

you are asking some excellent questions! This will definitely raise your status on the boards here ... notice too that you are getting answers from some really great people here. Well done!

For Me, it is both. I see it as My role as a Dominant to nurture and protect My boy, particularly emotionally, to build him up, to make him an even better/stronger/happier man than when I found him. However, My chance of protecting him physically isn't great unless it means grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away from the oncoming car or yelling "there's a crocodile behind you!" or whatever! It is far more likely that he would be able to protect Me physically should the need arise and that would make Me feel very good and very safe.

Like the other Ladies here ... once he becomes MINE and I am his to serve ... the mutual protection buttons switch on and stay on!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Thanks for your kind words and your points

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 17

RE: To be Protected or to Protect - 2/18/2013 5:01:38 PM

alphaminuz

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline

Thank you all for your points I appreciate it

(in reply to alphaminuz)

Post #: 18

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