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How can I. - 2/13/2013 7:37:45 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		Hello,
How can I as a submissive show the Mistress I am interacting with that I am not a dom-me type of a submissive?
I would rather not have the Mistress overwhelmed with my needs, but rather have the understanding that I wish to serve her first.

Humbly

alpha-

< Message edited by alphaminuz -- 2/13/2013 8:00:10 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 7:54:40 PM   
hornybottom


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		Well I'm not a mistress obviously LOL but you may want to rephrase this question since I think you accidentally threw in an extra word. I can't tell what you mean when you said "I am an not a dom-me type." also be more specific about what you consider to be a "dom-me type" ;)

< Message edited by hornybottom -- 2/13/2013 7:55:09 PM >

(in reply to alphaminuz)
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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 7:57:03 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		This doesn't have to be as hard as you think it is. Simply make her needs and desires your priority.
I get the feeling that you're defining service to her as something sexual, based on your last sentence.
If you truly have the desire to serve, "the majority of your kinks" should not be your motivation.



_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to alphaminuz)
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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:02:59 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		@hornybottom
@poise

Thank you both because looking at again I saw that both of them were not what I was trying to say

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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:14:42 PM   
hornybottom


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		No problem, I hate when I do that and no one calls it lol

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:19:09 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		Hell yea same here

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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:22:20 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		If you are that way, then it will show.

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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:54:12 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		Baroana

True

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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 8:55:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It was just an extra letter. I'm pretty sure most of us figured out that rather than dom-me, you meant do-me, OP.

With that cleared up, here's your issue. You are on the net. That means that no matter how sincere you are, at this point, all you are is words on the screen and guess what? The do-me types say all of the same things that the sincere types do, so you really don't have a leg to stand on until you get to know someone in person. Another bit of bad news. There are way more do-me types on the net than sincere guys, so anybody who lumps them all in the same category is going to expect you to fall into that do-me majority.

That means what you have to do is show people that you are not like all of the rest. Be willing to (here it is, folks) leave the house to get to know people. Don't feed people that, "oh, I want to chat/talk on cam" bit because every twatwaffle out there offers that and really, most women don't want to get to know somebody through a computer screen.

You can't prove sincerity on the net. Only real world actions can do that.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: How can I. - 2/13/2013 9:03:28 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		LadyPact: Darn me and my spelling is not working lol.

Very good points

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RE: How can I. - 2/14/2013 5:21:02 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		alpha,
I think there is a difference between acknowledging what your needs and desires are to someone and making it all about you. I want to know what my partner(s) need / desire regardless of which side of the kneel they are on. I would say MOST do.

However, the moment I see that they are only out for "self" I am going to reevaluate thing. I don't think being out for "self" in of itself is bad, to some degree I think it's healthy but everything is about choices.

To ME a do-me sub or do-me Dom/me isn't about the "relationship" they ares about themselves getting off. Which is okay in a pro session but in personal one... it's different.

Time and interaction will tell someone what you are about and I agree with LP that doesn't mean just chatting online or even over the phone.



< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/14/2013 5:46:26 AM >

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(in reply to alphaminuz)
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RE: How can I. - 2/14/2013 2:58:54 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hornybottom

Well I'm not a mistress obviously LOL but you may want to rephrase this question since I think you accidentally threw in an extra word. I can't tell what you mean when you said "I am an not a dom-me type." also be more specific about what you consider to be a "dom-me type" ;)

Think its DO-ME type
Simple answer is don't lead with your penis.

Have a potential I'm speaking with now...he mentioned specifically things in my profile, has common interests, was sweet & repectful. Hope to have my hands on him by the weekend for a look-see.
Suddenly have song "this is how ya do it" in my head!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How can I. - 2/15/2013 10:33:02 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Hi alpha,

I agree with LadyPact in that ultimately, it has to be demonstrated in action. BUT, you also have to get to know someone enough to get to meet them ... which means you have to interest Her enough to make Her react like Rose in the post above.

How might you do that?

Well, it starts by being careful about HOW you say what you want to say. It's important for eg, to answer a Lady's questions, so if She asks to hear about what you like/want/dream about, answer Her honestly. Nothing drives Me battier than a sub who answers "anything You say/want of me Maam". To Me, that's a lazy answer and tells Me absolutely nothing about him as a person, which is essential knowledge for Me if we were to ever get together, as I need to know what buttons to press when I want to press them! However, I equally don't want a sub who splurts out everything he's ever desired to do (especially intimate service) to a Domme in the first 5 minutes (whether I want that done to Me or not!) ... or one with a long laundry list of needs, wants and limits. They are Do-me subs and not worth My while. Likewise, those who promise to love and serve Me for their whole lives ... in their first letter to Me ... get filed very quickly in the bin! I want a boy who wants to serve ME because I am unique to him, I am THE Woman he wants to serve ... not just A Woman who is servable! Therefore he has to be patient and take time for him to know Me ... and of course for Me to know him ... first.

It also helps if you don't only talk about intimate service or bdsm play ... practical service means a lot to many (though not all) Dommes. Most of Us are real human beings with real busy lives ... so being grounded in the real world helps. Whether its housework, cooking, shopping, driving, cleaning the car, mowing the lawns ... whatever skills you have ... it is generally good to mention that you are willing to do these things for your Domme and to be trained to do these tasks as SHE likes them done. For example, I am picky about the order in which dishes are hand washed, or how My clothes are to be pegged on a line ... so I expect a sub to learn how to do it as I like, not as he thinks they should be done. Aside: that might be tricky if it clashes with your military training for example!

So, it all adds up to being honest, respectful, sweet-natured, willing to learn, and writing in ways that always show that it's what pleases Her that ultimately matters but that you are aware of your own needs and desires and what you bring to the relationship. Hope that all makes sense and good luck!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 3:07:34 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Think its DO-ME type
Simple answer is don't lead with your penis.

Have a potential I'm speaking with now...he mentioned specifically things in my profile, has common interests, was sweet & repectful. Hope to have my hands on him by the weekend for a look-see.
Suddenly have song "this is how ya do it" in my head!!



Awesome!!!! Hope all goes well with him and ty for sharing your views

Humbly
alpha-

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 3:13:48 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		MaamJay

Thank you for sharing your views I really enjoyed reading it.

Humbly

alpha-

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 3:37:42 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaminuz

Hello,
How can I as a submissive show the Mistress I am interacting with that I am not a dom-me type of a submissive?
I would rather not have the Mistress overwhelmed with my needs, but rather have the understanding that I wish to serve her first.

Humbly

alpha-


Don't listen to all these fucks that (think) they have something to offer to you...here's the fucking deal....

Listen up: Go find a 1977 Vega coupe....green...hatchback....steel wheels.

8 track...vinyl seats.

Take her out in style.

(Yeah....you can thank me later).

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 4:10:36 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie



Don't listen to all these fucks that (think) they have something to offer to you...here's the fucking deal....

Listen up: Go find a 1977 Vega coupe....green...hatchback....steel wheels.

8 track...vinyl seats.

Take her out in style.

(Yeah....you can thank me later).


Lol took me a bit to understand that one but I get it now. I understand that works for you but personally that is not for me. I like old cars don't get me wrong but I HATE people who think that their car gets them the girls and cannot stand it when they buy the most expensive car when they cannot afford it. Personally I would rather provide a nice modest house, and a decent car and still be able to go to places and do things that She and I would like without being in debt.

Respectfully
alpha-

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 4:19:10 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaminuz


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie



Don't listen to all these fucks that (think) they have something to offer to you...here's the fucking deal....

Listen up: Go find a 1977 Vega coupe....green...hatchback....steel wheels.

8 track...vinyl seats.

Take her out in style.

(Yeah....you can thank me later).


Lol took me a bit to understand that one but I get it now. I understand that works for you but personally that is not for me. I like old cars don't get me wrong but I HATE people who think that their car gets them the girls and cannot stand it when they buy the most expensive car when they cannot afford it. Personally I would rather provide a nice modest house, and a decent car and still be able to go to places and do things that She and I would like without being in debt.

Respectfully
alpha-



Lemme tell you....vintage Mustang's and Camaro's are for pussies....fuck the modest house.

I'm telling you....77 Vega Coupe. Green. Steel wheels.

Fine...I'm 54...I think I know the game dude....you'll come crawling in time...."JJ...why didn't I listen to you?"

(Beats the fuck outa me?).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/22/2013 4:20:03 PM >

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 4:35:13 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaminuz


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie



Lemme tell you....vintage Mustang's and Camaro's are for pussies....fuck the modest house.

I'm telling you....77 Vega Coupe. Green. Steel wheels.

Fine...I'm 54...I think I know the game dude....you'll come crawling in time...."JJ...why didn't I listen to you?"

(Beats the fuck outa me?).


OK and your 54 and still looking right? You are really a MR. Know IT All :) Give yourself a round of applause and find the exit door to the left. Trust me I am not looking for what you are and never Let me repeat that N-E-V-E-R WILL COME AND SAY YOUR RIGHT.


(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How can I. - 2/22/2013 4:49:30 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaminuz


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: alphaminuz


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie



Lemme tell you....vintage Mustang's and Camaro's are for pussies....fuck the modest house.

I'm telling you....77 Vega Coupe. Green. Steel wheels.

Fine...I'm 54...I think I know the game dude....you'll come crawling in time...."JJ...why didn't I listen to you?"

(Beats the fuck outa me?).


OK and your 54 and still looking right? You are really a MR. Know IT All :) Give yourself a round of applause and find the exit door to the left. Trust me I am not looking for what you are and never Let me repeat that N-E-V-E-R WILL COME AND SAY YOUR RIGHT.




It's okay...time heals all.

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 20
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