Do Dommes usually know about aftercare?

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Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 9:29:40 AM

iLoveDommeWomen

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Sorry if this questions been asked already.
For things like heavy canings or burns/brands ?

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 9:32:09 AM

OsideGirl

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Why wouldn't they?

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 9:32:14 AM

mnottertail

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Isn't that rather like asking if women know that men stare at their MacGuffies?

Sure, there are women that are pretty punctilious about aftercare. It ain't brain surgery, it's after brain surgery.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 9:43:25 AM

dragonbutter

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I'm sure there are some that do and some that don't. Just like I'm sure there are some male Doms that know what they're doing and some that don't. You have to take this into consideration when you meet someone. Don't just assume that because she says she's a Domme that she knows. You need to make sure they know what they are doing and if not, what they are willing to do to learn and find out all of the safety concerns. A real Domme or Dom will do their best to know all of the safety concerns about whatever play/torture they are doing. That being said, there can still be risk in a lot of the things we do.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:11:01 AM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

Aftercare is a highly individualized thing and will differ between dominant women. For me personally, I come from a medical background and have training in wound care. I also have a couple of college degrees dealing in both biology (emphasis on things like anatomy and physiology) and psychology, so I personally feel that I have the skills sets necessary to provide aftercare. I also feel its a responsibility of mine to care for a submissive's mental, emotional, and physical well-being...so aftercare (in my honest opinion) is all part of this obligation that I have as a dominant female.

I will say that if I had to compare dominant me now to dominant me of nearly 20 years ago when I first got started in this, I know a hell of a lot more about aftercare than I did back then. As a submissive (if thats what you identify as...I didnt look at your profile), you have to assess for yourself if the dominant female you are speaking with has the qualities you are looking for as far as what things are important to you. Some dominant females know and understand about things, others have little clue about anything.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:23:33 AM

LadyPact

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OP, I'm going to suggest that you think of your question in another way. Rather than,

"Do Dommes (as a general group) know about after care?"

To

"Does the Domme that wants to engage in type of play X with you know about after care?"

The latter is going to do you a heck of a lot more good and may even help you decide if you want to engage in certain activities with that particular person or not.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:34:06 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, I'm going to suggest that you think of your question in another way. Rather than,

"Do Dommes (as a general group) know about after care?"

To

"Does the Domme that wants to engage in type of play X with you know about after care?"

The latter is going to do you a heck of a lot more good and may even help you decide if you want to engage in certain activities with that particular person or not.

Exactly this.

I would hope that any dominant who engaged in burns play would know how to safely care for the burns. Someone who does these things without knowing about how to be safe and the possible consequences is dangerous, selfish and stupid. On the other hand there is no set standards for dominants, and a person could be an excellent dominant and never engage in that type of play, therefore not need to know. And some people are full of crap, or think they have super powers and won't need to know this stuff.

YOU should also make a point of knowing. It is the responsibility of both parties to know what to do and to understand the risks you are taking. It is also your responsibility to make sure you don't put yourself at the mercy of someone who doesn't know what they are doing - as much as is humanly possible.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:39:31 AM

iLoveDommeWomen

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thanks so much for all answers.
stupidly? the other day i got a little more aroused than usual and ended up putting two (roll up not cigarette) burns into my stomach.
This is the 1st time ive ever "self harmed" and maybe due to the massive stress im currently under.
but
the burns hurt/sting still a little bit after at least a week so.
What should i do in terms of healing them?
thanks in advance

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:41:07 AM

mnottertail

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neo-sporin like stuff, cover to prevent friction, and knock that stupid shit off.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:43:29 AM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

thanks so much for all answers.
stupidly? the other day i got a little more aroused than usual and ended up putting two (roll up not cigarette) burns into my stomach.
This is the 1st time ive ever "self harmed" and maybe due to the massive stress im currently under.
but the burns hurt/sting still a little bit after at least a week so.
What should i do in terms of healing them?
thanks in advance

I'm not so sure it's self harm if you "accidentally" burned yourself because of your state of arousal.
As for how to take care of a burn, it sounds like too much time has passed for proper care,
and I would say now is a good time to see a doctor.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:44:48 AM

iLoveDommeWomen

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hi mnottertail.
yeah i put a little waterproof plaster over them after the blisters popped but think that deteriorated their condition.
is there a special type of covering ?
thanks

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:47:13 AM

iLoveDommeWomen

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hi poise,
no the burns are tiny and theres only two of them.
but they do sting a bit,
maybe this is to be expected and im just being a wimp?
i dont know?
but a trip to the doctors would be EMBARRASSING !

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:51:21 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Yes, I do know about aftercare, and I do it generously, unless the sub doesn't want any. If I'm going to do any activity with him, I know how to care for that afterward also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

Sorry if this questions been asked already.
For things like heavy canings or burns/brands ?

well, if they are going to do those activities, they dang well better know how to care for them afterward. If they don't, then they'd better not be doing them. And that's a good question to ask her before you agree to let her do them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

thanks so much for all answers.
stupidly? the other day i got a little more aroused than usual and ended up putting two (roll up not cigarette) burns into my stomach.
This is the 1st time ive ever "self harmed" and maybe due to the massive stress im currently under.
but
the burns hurt/sting still a little bit after at least a week so.
What should i do in terms of healing them?
thanks in advance

Here is some burn treatment information. Also, if it's still bothering you after a week or so, maybe you should see your health care provider. Also, if it's getting infected, he/she can give you a prescription for it.

NBMG

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 10:57:19 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/first-aid-burns/FA00022

Burns do hurt for a while afterwards. If you are getting a white or greenish discharge you need to see a doctor. Better embarrassed than seriously infected.

I have always found it best to give some air to the burn - waterproof plasters don't let it breathe at all. If you need to cover it during the day to keep it clean or stop clothes rubbing, give it some time uncovered in the evening. I find if I don't do this it gets sort of... soggy and doesn't heal well.

And next time, do your research ahead of time. No matter how excited you might be.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 12:25:27 PM

littlewonder

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If you want aftercare and you're not receiving it, then tell her/him. If they say they don't do that then you have to make a choice just how important it is to you and how important that relationship is to you.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 12:28:00 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iLoveDommeWomen

thanks so much for all answers.
stupidly? the other day i got a little more aroused than usual and ended up putting two (roll up not cigarette) burns into my stomach.
This is the 1st time ive ever "self harmed" and maybe due to the massive stress im currently under.
but
the burns hurt/sting still a little bit after at least a week so.
What should i do in terms of healing them?
thanks in advance

Ignore my last response. You're not asking about aftercare with a Dom/me. You're asking about how to heal a wound. Depends on how bad the wound is. If you don't know and you're worried about it, see your doctor.

Cigarette burns? A little antibiotic ointment is all I've ever used and works just fine. If it's infected, see a doctor. If it's worse than just a simple burn, see a doctor.

Oh and if you're self harming, get thee to a doctor, asap!!!! Like, now!!!!

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 1:38:23 PM

iLoveDommeWomen

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thanks littlewonder

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 3:35:09 PM

Missokyst

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I am a bit confused. You burned yourself. What did the dominant have to do with it?

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 3:37:58 PM

DesFIP

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Because subs and male doms obviously don't know anything.

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RE: Do Dommes usually know about aftercare? - 2/18/2013 8:48:42 PM

FinDommeXtina

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If your dominant has no idea about aftercare then they are indeed inexperienced. You could judge the situation and decide how to bring it up or take it upon yourself to care for.. yourself.

I feel women tend to know a bit more about this for a multitude of reasonings. There is a simple way to figure it out - Ask them. If they don't know, they will ask you or google. If they get offended, steer clear.

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