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Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 10:48:37 PM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		For anyone who's attended, can you break down for me what I should expect?  I tried Google and got nothing that really answered my questions.  I'm looking for details, please.  If I could have an outline of what I can expect from the minute I walk through the entrance to the minute I approach the exit, that would be incredible!

Some stuff that has me anxious is what's expected of us (my partner [male Dom] & myself [submissive female).  Things like:

Are there separate rooms or is everyone all together, or does it always depend on exactly which venue you're in?  In larger cities, will the place be on a main street or will it be in some secluded alley (exaggerating, but not sure by how much in reality)?  Are there...not sure what word to use...hosts? there who are present to make sure nobody gets out of control or is doing something to someone without their consent?  If we're in a room that isn't completely private, is it against the accepted 'rules' that there is no eye contact with anyone that you're not playing with?  What is included in the word 'play'...are sex acts allowed or forbidden?

My partner and I would love to attend an event, but neither of us have ever done so before.  He's completely new to this in every way, had only had fantasies before about this whole BDSM thing, and I've only ever 'played' in private with my previous partner.  Going public is something we want but are extremely scared to do without having a grasp of what's expected of us and what we can expect of the others who are there.

Sorry for such a long post, and thanks to anyone who replies
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:11:22 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		MUNCHES I have been to are different than play parties and are a way to get to know people.  Most are held in restaurants and are simply a gathering where newbies can meet members in a safe environment.  If you are really asking about a play party, nobody can tell you what to expect from start to finish.  Even at the same club each event will have different people and different things going on.  Your best bet is to research the area clubs and correspond with members online to get specifics from someone who has been to the particular club you are considering.  Many clubs have online discussion groups, forums or an informative email address where you can get more information.  I would start there.

Rules will differ, events will differ, etc.  However, most places will allow you to simply socialize and there is no requirement for play or sexual activity.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:18:30 PM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks, I actually thought munch & play party were the same...that's probably the best place to start, knowing the words lol 

Thanks a bunch.  I'll search for some sites and see what I can find

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:20:49 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		If you are going to a 'munch,' bring money as most are held at malls, restaurants, etc., and you'll be expected to purchase your own food and beverages. There is usually someone who has set up the munch and most who do so will be happy to introduce you around. Wear your regular street clothes as opposed to fetish wear because you are out and about with the rest of the public at large. Be yourself.. and feel free to just talk to people once you are introduced. The host/hostess can probably point out those who are especially good at interacting with the new folks.. so feel free to ask for a buddy or someone whom you can sit by that can give you the ins and outs of that particular munch group. There won't be any play or overt actions at a munch, so don't worry on that score. There is zero pressure on you to do anything. Just have a good time.. you'll get to meet some folks and if you feel comfortable,  continue attending more munches and eventually play parties which is a whole different ball of wax. (so to speak!)

Let us know how it goes for you!


Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to MsKatHouston)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:35:16 PM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I was scared as hell at my first munch, but it was a small turnout so I felt at ease fast and everybody was very nice. It was a Sunday afternoon 2 P.M. munch so it was relaxing. They have a night munch I do not attend because I work 2nd shift. That is a big turnout one with optional drinking. The dress is casual so you dont attract major attention. The range of converstion is very wide from current events to life in general.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:35:22 PM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		I'm happy to hear there's something like that.  I thought it went from never being at a play party to just jumping right in.  Now to know a munch is a completely different thing all together...you just added 8 years to my life because I won't be so stressed about it lol

Once we get there we can hopefully get our questions answered about the play parties...actually, hopefully we can kind of go with someone initially to see what it's like and then either leave running and screaming or stay and then be enjoying and screaming

Thanks tons to you both for the replies, I feel *so* much better, I'm damn glad I posted

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/20/2006 11:53:53 PM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats to 'your One' and yourself timeoutgurlie!

I regretted not having gone to a munch or play party earlier than I did! It is so relaxing to realize that 99% of people that attend are more delightful to meet. You should not feel unwelcome. Just acknowledge your newness and look for people compatable to yourselves.
'Its all so much better than the stress of making the decision to go"

Enjoy...

Warm Regards, Driver1961, Sir to His loving Wildchild.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:00:59 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		It is hard to get people to attend a munch for the first time. Most  munch groups have lots of peple that joined online and never attended a munch. I have seen people make post on here about meeting people in the lifestyle and the first thing recomended is to join a munch group. I have messaged locals and recomended local munch groups and they never responded back, so I know attending a munch can be intimidating, but if you just break the ice and attend it can be quite enjoyable.

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:04:25 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks a bunch Electra, sorry I didn't reply earlier, we must've posted at the same time lol   

Thanks a bunch for the congratulations & for your reply Driver

I feel better already, you've all helped tons 


(in reply to ElectraGlide)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:07:26 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Your welcome Timeout I often get a second thought on a posting and make a second post lol.

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:11:17 AM   
CrescentLuna


Posts: 89
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline 		Just wanted to say thanks for posting this, I made a similar post regarding concerns about meeting like-minded people in person, and this thread has made me feel a bit better.


(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:21:16 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Just to follow Electra...

Getting real is just that. You feel real, have a sense of belonging, and begin to learn in leaps and bounds!

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to CrescentLuna)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:34:12 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Hey Driver very true on feeling real. Alot of people are caught up in the online BDSM world as they know it, and that is all they will most likely ever know. Most of us use the online experience as a supplement to our lifestyles but some pretenders will always be hyping themselves behind their keyboard only. I mean over hyping lol.

(in reply to Driver1961)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 12:40:19 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I actually find most munches quiet boring lol.

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 3:51:23 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Fair comment Feline Persuasion!

Your comment begs a question........or ten.

Are you saying that you wish to never went to a munch? Are you saying that you knew everything there was to learn? Are you saying that going into the L/s Community that you did not feel more self-empowered? Are you saying the O/P should not go to her first munch? Are you simply exhibiting your sense of humour that makes me smile?

Warm regards to all including Feline Persuasion.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 5:34:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_133075/mpage_1/key_munch/tm.htm#133214
munches

http://www.collarchat.com/m_123477/mpage_1/key_munch/tm.htm#123520
munches and sloshes

http://www.collarchat.com/m_120380/mpage_1/key_munch/tm.htm#120646
first munch...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_264730/mpage_1/key_munches/tm.htm#264747
normal reaction?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
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RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 7:39:59 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone who replied!  It's wicked to see this info helping out other people who are curious and anxious too, so thanks everyone for helping me and anyone else who may read this topic

Now time to read through the linked topics, thanks LA

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 10:59:50 AM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		I always tell others that a munch is nothing more than a place that others can meet each other. Some are very formal, some are very casual. You would have to find out what the etiquette for yours is.
Most are held in restaurants; more like a meeting of causal acquaintances who have something in common.
Just be yourself and you can't go wrong. Best advice there is.

I wish you luck and hope that  you have a wonderful time.

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 1:11:39 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I have just been to my first munch,and enjoyed it,and have two more to look forward to in the next couple of weeks,but I have a question,why is it called a munch,where did the word come from?

Maybe an inane question,but I like to understand the origin of things.

(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Advice on A 1st Munch - 6/21/2006 1:19:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:


why is it called a munch,where did the word come from?

The common thought idea (link from the "munches" thread)

http://www.soj.org/articles/A%20Beginners%20Guide%20to%20BDSM%20Munches.htm

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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