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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 12:21:04 PM

notusually

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Joined: 2/11/2011
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LL you totally misinterpreted my last post.

quote:

I'm curious is any D had a discussion w/ their s and said, look, I play w/ this male s and I find the idea of telling both of you to screw like rabbits while I watch and tell you what to do HUGELY EROTIC. Would you do this for me or is that beyond our hard limits?

I was referring to the D and her FEMALE s! Who was Lesbian. Back to the original question-has anyone ever had their FEMALE subbie submit to one of the Domme's Male friends/sub/slave?

LP YOU got "it". I was wondering if this happens and if so, what are the implications for all the emotional fallout. Unfortunately, no, I haven't been invited to do this. Yet. I think it would be a very intense scene. While I know Lesbians just aren't turned on by men (as I am not turned on by men!) I do know that subbies get off on pleasing their D. And can go to subspace if things are intense enough. Maybe this is one of those things. I do know someone who has a female subbie and sometimes this Domme and I play. Where that will go, I don't know.

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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 12:34:54 PM

myotherself

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I don't think it really matters what gender the D and the s are, it's the sexuality of the s that is the point here.

Let's assume the sub is a female lesbian who is not at all attracted to men, and finds the thought of sex with a man repulsive. That's much the same as a sub like me, who is female heterosexual, who finds the thought of sex with another woman repulsive.

Now, assume the sub has made these feelings very clear to the D-type and has made them aware that it's something that would be detrimental to their emotional health and could very likely damage the relationship.

Then assume the D-type thinks "fuck that - I find the thought of you shagging a gender that repulses you totally HAWT and I'm gonna tell you to do it!"

What do you think might happen? In my case, if a serious face-to-face discussion with the D-type didn't get across the major shitstorm that might follow, then it's time to end things. Why would a sub want to be with someone that values a quick thrill over their long-term emotional health?

Master has fantasies that he'd love to see come real, but he's smart enough to realise that those happies would be at the expense of 'us', and he's not prepared to do that. Similarly, I have fantasies that I'd love to see come real, but it wouldn't be something that he'd be happy with.

Smart D-types know when to say no. Smart s-types know when to walk away.

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Post #: 22

RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 1:27:33 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: notusually

LL you totally misinterpreted my last post.
quote:

I'm curious is any D had a discussion w/ their s and said, look, I play w/ this male s and I find the idea of telling both of you to screw like rabbits while I watch and tell you what to do HUGELY EROTIC. Would you do this for me or is that beyond our hard limits?

I was referring to the D and her FEMALE s! Who was Lesbian. Back to the original question-has anyone ever had their FEMALE subbie submit to one of the Domme's Male friends/sub/slave?

LP YOU got "it". I was wondering if this happens and if so, what are the implications for all the emotional fallout. Unfortunately, no, I haven't been invited to do this. Yet. I think it would be a very intense scene. While I know Lesbians just aren't turned on by men (as I am not turned on by men!) I do know that subbies get off on pleasing their D. And can go to subspace if things are intense enough. Maybe this is one of those things. I do know someone who has a female subbie and sometimes this Domme and I play. Where that will go, I don't know.

I get one right once in a while.

Unfortunately, this is where My first person experience ends. I can tell you what I know from a third party perspective. Meaning I can only help to a certain extent from what I've seen and what I've been told. Never quite really as good as being a part of the dynamic for the exact situation.

Yes, I'd consider it intense. Then again, so are rape scenes, take downs, and all kinds of other fun erotic things. Oh yes! They can definitely put a person straight to space. Doesn't hurt the D-types chances of achieving space, either.

There can be some fall out. It may not be immediately afterward but there can be some emotions come up in the days or weeks after that kind of play. It's something the D-type has to gauge. Some people it won't bother and others might have to deal with feelings of guilt and regret. Some will be happy that they were able to succeed in overcoming their own barriers. Others will be very unhappy with themselves for engaging in certain acts.

I'll bow out now, since My realm on this one is straight males, rather than lesbian females. Good luck in your future endeavors.

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Post #: 23

RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 2:03:31 PM

DrkJourney

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I agree with all of the above. Basically it comes down to bringing this all into the real world. You have to get to know one another, you have to actually talk to each other, and talk about in-depth subjects like this, just like non-lifestyle have to talk about things like if they want kids in the future or not, I mean if one person has their heart set on being a mom or a dad, and the other is dead set against children, the dynamic is not really going to work that well, someone is going to resent the other and eventually both will wish for a life with another.

Being Domme puts me in the position of caretaker, and I am not going to "damage", for lack of a better word, someone mentally just for my own pleasure. If my pleasure is that strong I will keep up the search until I find one that fits me, just as subs should do.

My big problem with finding someone, is that I run into those that want to treat this like a business, complete with monetary transactions (yawn), or those that basically want to be lifted from society, caged and only taken out to be "played" with. That is fantasy and not life, just as giving all of your decision making over to a total stranger. If you find someone that does not consider your limits then I personally would run.

I have seen personally, a sub that was made to do a lot of things that he was against, he knew it going in, but he was all into the fantasy of not having any rights, and only a "true" sub will follow the Domme/Dom instruction no matter what. No warnings against the union could stop him. Within a year he was about ready to commit suicide, he was so mentally messed up he was totally not the same person. He as well as another Domme friend of ours, who lived out of state was begging me to take him. I loved him like a friend but there was no way to take in someone that messed up, he seriously needed professional help at that point.

I know I rambled here, but I hope you get the drift of what I'm trying to say. Basically, your scenario shouldn't happen at all. If someone is that opposed to being with same or opposite sex, then it should be honored and found out ahead of time.

now they can take away my "twue" Domme card....lol

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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 2:08:58 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: notusually

First off, I am NOT into bi, forced or otherwise for myself. I do know that if a Dom/Domme (most likely Domme) wants their sub to perform a bi act and the sub does not want to,.... but does it because it pleases the D, then that is the essence of D/s. Or so I've been told.
And if someone wants to be "forced" to perform a bi act, then the act of being "forced" is more so they can rationalize their behavior and tell themselves they aren't really bi.

Okay, I get that. What I'm curious about is how many Dom/Dommes have a sub that is lesbian and they have her perform some sexual act on a guy or let a guy fuck her? I'm guessing this is not common but I'm wondering how that plays out. And how the sub handles the emotions that come afterwards.
And I'm sure it's not uncommon that a Dom forces his sub to go Bi w/ another woman; women seem more likely to have gray areas on the sexual continuum then men so I'm guessing they might not find it as objectionable.

It's not something that has ever interested me. In fact, the idea pretty much squicks me. I am not turned on by sharing.

However, it is an issue that has caused me problems, from both sides of the equation. Either they want me to do it, and are annoyed that I won't. Or, they are afraid that, because there is a guy in my life, I will. The first, I view as good riddance to bad rubbish. The second, I understand their concern.

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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/23/2013 7:18:20 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: notusually

LL you totally misinterpreted my last post.
quote:

I'm curious is any D had a discussion w/ their s and said, look, I play w/ this male s and I find the idea of telling both of you to screw like rabbits while I watch and tell you what to do HUGELY EROTIC. Would you do this for me or is that beyond our hard limits?

I was referring to the D and her FEMALE s! Who was Lesbian. Back to the original question-has anyone ever had their FEMALE subbie submit to one of the Domme's Male friends/sub/slave?

LP YOU got "it". I was wondering if this happens and if so, what are the implications for all the emotional fallout. Unfortunately, no, I haven't been invited to do this. Yet. I think it would be a very intense scene. While I know Lesbians just aren't turned on by men (as I am not turned on by men!) I do know that subbies get off on pleasing their D. And can go to subspace if things are intense enough. Maybe this is one of those things. I do know someone who has a female subbie and sometimes this Domme and I play. Where that will go, I don't know.

I may have misread what you meant. I think that I have figured it out now, and frankly I am repulsed.

Seems from the bold and your OP, it is you who is hoping that the domme in question will allow you to play with her submissive, even though said submissive is a lesbian. This is all about acting out YOUR fantasy, and your hopes that the domme might see things the same way.

Again, repulsive.

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Post #: 26

RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/24/2013 5:45:35 AM

pig5lave

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Joined: 2/17/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

This gives me a chance to repeat my favourite line; never give a dominant a level of authority which is greater than their level of investment in your life.

Beautiful and wonderful advice. I so totally agree.

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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/24/2013 7:32:31 AM

LaTigresse

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While the words are pretty and exude warm fuzzies........I would have to disagree with the basic premise.

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Post #: 28

RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/27/2013 5:09:10 AM

notusually

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@myotherself. Bingo! I agree completely w/ what you wrote!

LL. I'll admit, the idea has a certain appeal. (Most guys think the idea of hooking up w/ two women is hot, esp. if they are into lesbian sex!) Okay, in this instance it would still be one on one.

I was curious b/c I know someone who has thought about this (not w/ me being part of it) and I just thought it had the potential to be very damaging. B/c, as was pointed out, I wouldn't want to be w/ a guy, so why would a woman who is definitely Lesbian want to? Even if it WAS all about pleasing her D? Just as I won't jump into the sack w/ just anyone, not even when I was 20.

Thanks for some really good viewpoints!

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Post #: 29

RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/27/2013 7:29:01 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Thank you, Athena. I appreciate that.

I do hope that other folks will chime in. Human behavior in regard to sexuality can be such a fascinating subject.

LP .. I thought that post was BRILLIANT! (Although you do that a lot.

)

That said, my exposure to this is also "third party"; yet my conclusions virtually mirror Yours ... so I have little to add, except to start delving into all the societal lists! LOL

Thank You for sharing such fabulous insight! In my view, You are right on the money!

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RE: Forced Bi: Lesbian sub - 2/28/2013 12:46:11 AM

njlauren

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To me there is a difference between reluctance and not being able to do it. A lesbian sub might be reluctant to have sex with a man, but wouldn't be traumatized with it, while another sub might be okay with it (and the same with a M/M combination). A dominant who doesn't understand the difference can wreak havoc, it would be like telling a sub they have to out themselves at work that they are a lifestyle sub and go to work wearing a collar that is obvious, and not caring about the consequences. It would be a like a dominant forcing me into a sense deprivation scene where I was wrapped up in black plastic with only a tube to breathe through, I would absolutely go psychotic if they did that to me, I have real problems with it. Lesbian sub who had been sexually abused by some jerk deciding he was going to set her straight, isn't going to react well to being 'forced' to have sex with a man. Reluctance is one thing, issues are another.

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Post #: 31