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RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:31:19 AM   
subbiedude


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude

she could have just cam for 2-3 secs not showing her face just her fully clothed body would have sufficed to verify whether she was a male or female. if she cant even do that, how can she meet me for real f2f, moreover what is the guarantee that i will not take her pics or video when we meet. somehow her (or his) whole reasoning sounded very lame for me.
If you were to take a pic of someone during meeting for coffee, it doesn't have the same connection to a screen name or a kinky internet site. She's just a gal sipping coffee. It's not like she's going to show up for a first meet decked out in fetish gear.

It's people who come up with the idea of taking pics or recording cam without the other person's consent which is *exactly* why a lot of women won't cam. In other words, you just proved precisely why she shouldn't have gone on cam and take that risk.





Well i would have never taken a pic or cam without her consent whether in real or online, i know the consequences of it if i do, all my efforts for establishing a trust would have gone in vain. i thought after chatting for so many weeks, she would have gained a trust over me, with that confidence i asked her to show her cam. all be it, i thought we could have parted our ways gracefully, anyway if she didnt wanted to chat with me, she could have said so, i would have never bothered her, but immediately abusing & blocking me, i feel that was uncalled for.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:37:43 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Namaste. Unfortunately, you're from India and the vast majority of the rest of us are from the US, so that our cultural references are somewhat different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
but once she told me that she is a medical student, but one thing which i noticed was she was 24X7 online, i asked her this once, she said, she stays in hostel & hence she is always online.


Not only is that a load of hooey, it shows that "she" was dumb as a brick.

I leave my browser on 24/7 as well. That would have been a fine response to you.

If she's a med student, she has no life. She's hitting the books almost 24/7. She does NOT gallivant all over the world and stay in hotels. She should have omitted the "staying in hotels" part and it wouldn't have raised red flags.

Look. You weren't compatible with her. Period. Trying to figure out whether she was male or female will make you look backward when you want to look forward.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:43:52 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		I acquired a submissive from a woman I have never done cam time with, and I am okay with that. Both of our identities are kept safe until we meet face to face. I enjoy just knowing things about her, her life, and chatting with her every week even if I never see her on camera. I respect her privacy, and I trust her.

Before writing stories for someone (and "promises" not to profit from them are baloney, btw), and putting your all into someone, know the risks. This person could be a horny net geek, or they could be genuine. You roll the dice whenever you respond to people on the other side.

Take a breath, and stop leading with your dick. Treat this site like you would any vanilla dating site and proceed with caution.

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:44:01 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude

she could have just cam for 2-3 secs not showing her face just her fully clothed body would have sufficed to verify whether she was a male or female. if she cant even do that, how can she meet me for real f2f, moreover what is the guarantee that i will not take her pics or video when we meet. somehow her (or his) whole reasoning sounded very lame for me.
If you were to take a pic of someone during meeting for coffee, it doesn't have the same connection to a screen name or a kinky internet site. She's just a gal sipping coffee. It's not like she's going to show up for a first meet decked out in fetish gear.

It's people who come up with the idea of taking pics or recording cam without the other person's consent which is *exactly* why a lot of women won't cam. In other words, you just proved precisely why she shouldn't have gone on cam and take that risk.







THIS.

Btw... webcam videos not showing someone's face are recorded and posted without permission EVERY day. Yesterday, I came across a young girl who got on cam showing nothing but her feet. You hear her saying, "see I am a not a guy." Little did she realize someone would post that for the world to wank to. Pathetic!



_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:46:29 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		MommySparkles, I believe Athena was saying that meeting in person ensures that you aren't dealing with a time waster. I don't think the last line of her post was referring to cam verification. Most of us realize that such a request is silly.

(in reply to MommySparkles)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:47:05 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
but once she told me that she is a medical student, but one thing which i noticed was she was 24X7 online, i asked her this once, she said, she stays in hostel & hence she is always online.


I work from home.

On my computer.

My computer is always logged in. I may leave my email or CollarMe open. That doesn't mean I am not doing other things or even at my desk. So don't assume because someone is logged online that they can't be a medical student,ect. That is silly IMO.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 5:48:37 AM >

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:53:15 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

MommySparkles, I believe Athena was saying that meeting in person ensures that you aren't dealing with a time waster. I don't think the last line of her post was referring to cam verification. Most of us realize that such a request is silly.


Thank you absolutchocolat

MommySparkles - I know that not going on cam doesn't make someone a time waster. It does appear that the OP was dealing with a time waster, however, and one think that tends to put time wasters off is a real-life meet.

You have the right to not go on cam. That's your choice. The OP can decide that for him, that is important. That's his choice. If he needs that, and the other person won't do it, better that he sets limits and moves on than wastes his time for a few months. He may put some people off by asking, but it's really up to him whether he takes that risk.

The point I was trying to make is that it doesn't matter whether he was talking to a Mistress, what matters is that he invested time and emotion into someone that wasn't giving anything back. It's possible that he was talking to a skilled and wonderful Mistress, but if she wasn't meeting his needs, it doesn't matter, does it?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 5:55:16 AM   
subbiedude


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Namaste. Unfortunately, you're from India and the vast majority of the rest of us are from the US, so that our cultural references are somewhat different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
but once she told me that she is a medical student, but one thing which i noticed was she was 24X7 online, i asked her this once, she said, she stays in hostel & hence she is always online.


Not only is that a load of hooey, it shows that "she" was dumb as a brick.

I leave my browser on 24/7 as well. That would have been a fine response to you.

If she's a med student, she has no life. She's hitting the books almost 24/7. She does NOT gallivant all over the world and stay in hotels. She should have omitted the "staying in hotels" part and it wouldn't have raised red flags.

Look. You weren't compatible with her. Period. Trying to figure out whether she was male or female will make you look backward when you want to look forward.


Compatibility, i really dont know, most of the time the conversation only revolved around stories, regarding whether she was m or f, well your right, its a history now, but the fact is, if she was a mistress, i feel i really missed a golden chance of knowing her further, but it didnt happen, that's what i regret. But in her last msg she said "PERMANENTLY BLOCKED, let me know if better sense prevails" she also said "I am a lady with substance", now those statements created a curiosity in me to ask, if it was actually a she or he.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:00:21 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

PERMANENTLY BLOCKED, let me know if better sense prevails


Something is wrong with that sentence........


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:05:08 AM   
subbiedude


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

PERMANENTLY BLOCKED, let me know if better sense prevails


Something is wrong with that sentence........



yup, that's what i felt too. but how to decode that statement....

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:08:29 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		There's nothing to decode. This person has made it clear they do not want a relationship with you. Even before that, it sounds like they were only taking your stories and not giving anything back, so this person wasn't right for you anyway. Just learn from it and move on.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:14:35 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Hi subbiedude,
without reading most of the responses, here are my thoughts. The dominant in question, is completely full of s**t, whether male or female. Having chat with said person, for 2-6 weeks, is wonderful, in that, it gave you an opportunity to get to know her/him.am
I'm extreme regarding "no cam time, ever!" However, I am open to every other normal, ran into you on the street, type of contact.
There is no way to ascertain with whom one is connecting, but there are many reasonable ways to get to know him/her, and feel better about the whole thing.
Good luck OP, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:19:30 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
yup, that's what i felt too. but how to decode that statement....

"I might be male, and I might be female, but I'm definitely crazy."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:22:17 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
yup, that's what i felt too. but how to decode that statement....

"I might be male, and I might be female, but I'm definitely crazy."



If you were all 3 that would be YUMMY!

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:29:41 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I was wondering if you as a Mistress look at the relationship with your submissive/slave as just a D/s relationship or also as involved in the vanilla sense in conjunction with the D/s life style? Why?
Personally I seek both so I can feel fulfilled in both aspects
Humbly
alpha
My relationships, could not be separate D/s or vanilla. To be in a relationship with me, lasting 3 months-1+ years, one needs to understand D/s relationships/vanilla relationships simultaneously, and adhere to it/them, in some or all aspects of the relationship.

I can absolutely understand needing both aspects, so that one can be fullfilled. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:31:48 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
Well i would have never taken a pic or cam without her consent whether in real or online, i know the consequences of it if i do, all my efforts for establishing a trust would have gone in vain. i thought after chatting for so many weeks, she would have gained a trust over me, with that confidence i asked her to show her cam. all be it, i thought we could have parted our ways gracefully, anyway if she didnt wanted to chat with me, she could have said so, i would have never bothered her, but immediately abusing & blocking me, i feel that was uncalled for.
Just a thought for you. Do you think that the people who take pics or record cam step up and say that is what they are going to do? Of course they don't! They say things like, "oh, I would never do that".

Here's another serious question for you. Why should the person you were writing stories for over the internet trust you? She was in the same boat that you were. She didn't know you any better than you knew her. I'm not saying that you are not a nice guy. You probably are. There's just nothing concrete there for her to know for certain.

Do I think you were used to write stories for this person's entertainment or possibly take credit for them by posting them on a blog? Yes. Do I consider that abuse? No. You did it of your own free will pretty much from the beginning. Do I consider how and the way she replied to your request for cam to be abuse? No. It wasn't the most mature way to handle the situation, but I don't think it was abusive. She called you a loser and blocked you. That's pretty light in the abuse category.

She sent you mail offering to meet. You didn't read the email in time, so to her, it may have come across as you didn't want to meet in person. Instead, you wanted to see her on cam. There's no way that I would have got on cam under those circumstances.



ETA to BTF - I think you hit that last post/quote to the wrong thread.



< Message edited by LadyPact -- 2/23/2013 6:33:12 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:32:10 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
yup, that's what i felt too. but how to decode that statement....

"I might be male, and I might be female, but I'm definitely crazy."



If you were all 3 that would be YUMMY!


oh hell no, pick two!

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:40:59 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbiedude
yup, that's what i felt too. but how to decode that statement....

"I might be male, and I might be female, but I'm definitely crazy."



If you were all 3 that would be YUMMY!


oh hell no, pick two!







_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 6:45:00 AM   
subbiedude


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline 		Lot of point of views, great. the more i am discussing , i feel more i am getting educated. Wonderful!!!!!!!

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Online experience- he or she? - 2/23/2013 7:29:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Putting a positive spin on it, maybe that could mean it wasn't all for nothing?

There are a lot of things that folks can learn on the forums. Hopefully, even though the original post wasn't a situation that made you happy, the result of the discussion here will encourage you to participate.

I don't know how long the stories were that you wrote, or if you saved a copy for yourself. If you did, one of the other sections that we have on the forums is Creative Writing. Maybe you'll want to post them sometime.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to subbiedude)
Profile   Post #: 40
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