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jlf1961 -> RE: Movie Remakes (2/25/2013 7:42:10 AM)
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Alright, after much consideration, the following make my list of remake mistakes.
Psycho- No one could compare to the master, Alfred Hitchcock
Night of the Living Dead- I dont like zombie movies as a rule, but how can you screw up the story so bad?
Cat People- Took the basic premise of the original, added incest etc, Epic Fail
The Day the Earth Stood Still- Took the original premise and script, ran it through a paper shredder a dozen times, hired Keanu Reeves, wrote a new script, and then ignored that, filmed whatever sounded like a good idea. Epic Fail
The Pink Panther- Someone thought they could do better than Peter Sellers.
Cape Fear- Lets see, Robert Di Niro and Nick Nolte to replace Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum... Worked about as well as replacing Scotch with Kerosene.
House of Wax- Words fail me on this, it was just WRONG,
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre- Watch this remake, then the original, then call the suicide hotline because the remake will make you feel like the world has gone to hell and suicide is the only option.
Alfie- Jude Law redoing a Micheal Caine role, Bozo would have been a better choice for director, with Martin Short in the lead. At least then there would be some humor, but as far as this goes, whoever came up with this idea should have been put in a padded cell wearing an "I love Me" jacket.
Freaky Friday- Lindsey Lohan on the verge of being a drug using zombie wannabe. enough said.
Planet of the Apes- Okay the effects were better, make up wonderful, Mark Wahlberg french kissing an ape? Watching this remake would drive Jesus Christ to become a serial killer.
The Stepford Wives- Even Nicole Kidman could not save this dog. Hell a triple x rating would not have saved this.
King Kong- Been remade twice, the 1976 version was terrible, the Jack Black version a little better, the original, superb.
Flight of the Phoenix- the attempt to replace the original cast was insane, the directing sucked, everyone involved should be condemned for crimes against humanity.
Rollerball- The original movie premise was international corporations running the world, sponsoring a blood sport, and James Caan. Remake took all that, threw it in the trash, and went nowhere with the new plot. Sucked Green Donkey Dicks.
Get Carter- Sylvester Stallone replacing Micheal Caine. If you are going to do this, then please replace the Mona Lisa with a bunch of dogs playing poker painted on black velvet.
The Ladykillers- The only thing this thing killed was brain cells in the people who went to see it.
Around the World in 80 Days- This has been remade twice, once as a mini-series and then the remade movie. Both were bad. You just cannot recreate the chemistry of the original cast.
Lolita- Again some idiot tried to replace Micheal Caine. That was the first mistake, watch the original and compare it to the remake, and keep a supply of barf bags.
The Wicker Man- Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Diane Cilento replaced by Nicolas Cage and company. Dont get me wrong, Gage has excelled in some of his work, but he should have passed on this... Everyone should have passed on this, and the new script burned.
The Jackal- a remake of Three Days of the Jackal. First of all, they completely through away the story line and replaced it with a new one, claimed it was inspired by the original which was a lie. They should have given it another name and forgot the original. Good movie, but would have made better sense if the creators would have just never claimed the connection.
The Karate Kid- Jackie Chan is good, Jaden Smith is good, Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita they aint. Wax on, Wax off. And it was not Karate it was Kung Fuin the remake. Big difference.
The Omen- It would take me pages to deal with this one. Simply put, this was bad, very, very, very bad.
Village of the Damned- George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Martin Stephens replaced by Reeves and company... first problem was the new cast, second the director. The two combined killed the remake.
A Star Is Born-First, Barbara Streisand is no actress, second Kris Kristofferson is no James Mason. And this was the third installment, the original done in 1937 is the best, the 1954 version was good with Judy Garland and James Mason, but this was a dog.
The Haunting- You cannot remake a classic horror movie. It should be an international crime to even think about it.
Assault on Precinct 13- Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Gabriel Byrne against Austin Stoker, Darwin Joston, Laurie Zimmer who were directed by John Carpenter. This remake was losing ground when it was just an idea on paper, and went downhill from there.
The Fog- Just see the original, suspense is the key to a good horror movie. This remake lacked that, and lacked a good cast and director.
A Nightmare on Elm Street- they really thought that they could replace Robert Englund?
Dawn of the Dead- another zombie movie, but a classic horror movie. it was just wrong to do it.
The Amityville Horror- Nothing could beat the original. The remake never even got on the same planet as the original.
Carrie- Sissy Spacek, enough said.
The Last House on the Left- the original had Wes Craven, this remake had Dennis Iliadis. Who in the hell thought they could replace a master?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- Depp is good, but in this he was psychotic, and that pretty much killed it.
Clash of the Titans- remake great effects and great cast. The original more fantasy and myth. Good idea, but they should not have changed the formula.
Poseidon- special effects versus good cast... special effects loses.
You've Got Mail- remake of shop around the corner. Hanks and meg Ryan have a great chemistry, but this remake just feel flat.
Shaft- Samuel Jackson swearing vs Richard Roundtree... Give me Richard Roundtree any day.
Halloween- First they had no true scream queen, second they really lost the picture on what the original was. The original was a classic slasher flick, the remake was something, not sure what.
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3- Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw made the original, Travolta and Washington could not save the remake.
The Parent Trap- Hayley Mills, Maureen O'Hara, Brian Keith. Lindsey Lohan, Dennis Quad, Natasha Richardson. Do I really have to say anything else?
Friday the 13th- the original was a classic slasher movie, the remake was a typical shock and gore fest. The original had suspense, the remake had shock and gore. Give me suspense.
Sabrina- No one can replace Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, and to attempt it is doomed from the start.
Father of the Bride- Spencer Tracy and Elizabet Taylor... Steve Martin and Kimberly Williams, there is no comparison.
Ocean's Eleven- Rat Pack classic, the remake is just trash, followed by two sequels of trash.
The Fly- you do not remake a classic, especially with Jeff Goldblum.
True Grit- Give me a break. John Wayne may not have been a great actor, but he had a presence on screen. His acting was good, but Jeff Bridges just does not have that presence.
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