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Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 12:53:38 PM

Turlis

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2013
Status: offline

I recently read the following post: All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman and I found it very interesting and I was wondering if there are any Domme's or Mistresses that would be willing to critique my profile? I'm really new to online dating and I feel that any advice is always worth seeking especially from those who share similar interests. Thank you for your time :-)

APH

Post #: 1

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 1:04:16 PM

muhly22222

Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline

Not a Domme, but I do (I think) know a little bit about writing profiles.

What you have is a decent start, but you need to build on it. You need to talk about yourself a lot more, about what makes you different from everybody else out there. Women are inundated with messages, no matter where they locate themselves on the dominance-submission spectrum, but dominant women (everybody says) get the most mail. You need to make your messages and your profile stand out somehow.

So talk about things you enjoy doing (vanilla, I mean). Talk about what you do, what kind of goals you might have for yourself.

Remember: you are selling yourself with your profile. Your self-identity is the best product you can sell...so make it look as good as possible.

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 2

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 1:13:54 PM

Turlis

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2013
Status: offline

Thank you I'll be sure to update that then. :-)

(in reply to muhly22222)

Post #: 3

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 1:29:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I have to agree. It's ok, but you need a little more. While I never recommend anybody write a profile the length of a novel, you've got to have some stuff in there about you that shows your individuality. What's a typical Saturday afternoon for you? What do you do when you're with friends? These are the things that make you interesting.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 4

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 2:30:36 PM

xLaChienne

Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline

Each of us are so individual that what we like to see in a profile will vary and really much depends on what you are seeking.

Focus on who you are as a person and let that shine through. There will be plenty of time to learn about all your BDSM kinks and cravings. Ideally, I enjoy a profile that gives Me insight into who the person is and not what they are into.

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 5

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 3:18:45 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Turlis

I recently read the following post: All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman and I found it very interesting and I was wondering if there are any Domme's or Mistresses that would be willing to critique my profile? I'm really new to online dating and I feel that any advice is always worth seeking especially from those who share similar interests. Thank you for your time :-)

APH

I just wanted to say....I'm always amazed at the thoughtful responses that arise from a post such as this.

I asked this same question some years back (which has been asked 23 bazillion katrillion quintillion times before...by a bazillion sub males....over and over again).

(Most would, however, disagree that, based on my current profile, I actually learned anything useful from it...but....you shoulda seen it before :) ).

I thought "Bitch", "The horse you rode in on" and "fuck you" were perfectly acceptable prose....but...I had a few things to learn, said of course in the most submissive of ways.

All seriousness aside....I'm very thankful (as a sub and as a member of this community) that those of you who are Domme, respond (and have responded) both considerately, as well as kindly.

For my brethren....thank you.

(By the way....I did remove "Jebus....what fucking planet did you come in from"....so I feel my profile stands a bit taller).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/27/2013 3:21:21 PM >

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 6

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 7:02:26 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

The Ladies who responded, are a far better judge of what they find attractive, than i am.

That said, i also believe there is an aspect of how you intend to market yourself involved, and I likely do it differently than you intend to. But my method does work.

To me, the profile is only a reinforcement of what I write in my introductory email. I never wait for a Lady to find me randomly. It happens once in a blue moon.

You see, I am a bit predatory ... and could never submit to a Lady who is immature, selfish and totally lacking values.

So I myself, look at profiles, read them, and then write a custom letter to someone i MIGHT be interested in.

And you would be shocked by some of the Ladies whom I have met. In real life. Either by phone or in person.

So while I have not found a Life partner, I have met a lot of great Ladies so far.

And do have a number of Domme's whom i consider friends.

That said, my best advice, is to be:

1. Gentleman always. Don't be afraid to take Her to a Fine Restaurant, wear a suit and eagerly, pick up the tab. Your goal is to be chivalrous and make Her feel special! [Don't worry about trivial things, like: who asked first, or what the the cost is. (rolls eyes) like a number of posters here]

2. Thoughtful ... think about Her .. not your wants (ie: ask Her questions about Her, learn about Her ... not your sexual fantasy)

3. Be patient and flexible .. cause you never know when desires and reality will come together!

So in conclusion, you have a lot to learn ... so good luck ... study hard ... and eventually, you will enjoy good hunting!

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 7

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/27/2013 9:45:13 PM

Turlis

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2013
Status: offline

Thank you all for your advice and critique :-) it has been very helpful

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

Post #: 8

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 10:18:14 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

When I read a submissive's profile, I always read it with the concept of FDS (fetish delivery system) in mind. As in...is the person writing the profile writing it from the perspective that they are looking at me (a dominant female) as a fetish delivery system. Ive read profiles that scream "me, me, me, what I want, when I want it, and how I want it done." When I see stuff like that, I know that the focus isnt anywhere other than on the person getting their rocks off. Probably in the quickest way possible. It screams "huge pain in the ass" and I know myself well enough to know I dont have the time or patience to deal with that horseshit.

Yours wasnt that way at all. To my eyes, you presented yourself as a human being. I like stuff like that. A bit about where you are kink-wise would be okay. From the sounds of it, you sound like a dude who gets that there is a line between discussing things and looking at someone like an FDS

But all in all, I thought you did a really good job so far. Wish you the best of luck in your search.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 2/28/2013 10:20:07 AM >

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 9

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 10:45:29 AM

MissSpiderKiss

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2013
From: UK
Status: offline

I have not read your profile due to the fact I really do not feel like it but let me tell you what i look for in a profile

Honesty

Truthful admitting of all kinks and fetishes

Not telling me what I will do, I see that its over

Oh yeah, submission, you can tell if someone will submit by the way they write

But hey Kudos to you, I am pretty sure you have had a lot of Dommes who would not have looked at your profile ever to look at it AND think about it carefully, that in itself is a magical move.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 10

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 11:57:49 AM

realtuffdom

Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline

You need a profile very much like mine.

_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 11

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 1:12:25 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Omg!!!!!!! Realtuffdom! It's been a LONG time!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to realtuffdom)

Post #: 12

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 1:17:28 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realtuffdom

You need a profile very much like mine.

I confess-I have profile envy :-(

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to realtuffdom)

Post #: 13

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 3:30:09 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I think your profile is lovely as is. My thought is, don't give everything away, as you want to have something to say, when you write to someone.
Good luck, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 14

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 10:33:51 PM

Turlis

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2013
Status: offline

Thank you all again :-)

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 15

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 2/28/2013 11:06:07 PM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

Everyone has a different answer but for me I prefer up front to know what experience you have if any, and what your long term goal is......

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 16

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 3/1/2013 4:50:28 AM

realtuffdom

Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Omg!!!!!!! Realtuffdom! It's been a LONG time!

My bicycle had a flat tire and my mom wouldn't pay to get it fixed.

_____________________________

Always, Ram Ford Tough....

I have lots and lots of experience at domination. Now I'd just like to try it with a partner....

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 3/9/2013 7:42:51 AM

Readyt0serve

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/5/2013
Status: offline

Man all girls are just thr same horny human beings that are trying to do as much superficial things to escape their insecurities. As someone who gets 10+ emails a day, take it from me just be yourself and realise what it is about a girl that makes them special, but also dont forget they are incomplete and try act like they dont need men as much as they can, but in the end of the day they all crave penis.

(in reply to realtuffdom)

Post #: 18

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 3/9/2013 9:56:53 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Turlis
I recently read the following post: All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman and I found it very interesting and I was wondering if there are any Domme's or Mistresses that would be willing to critique my profile? I'm really new to online dating and I feel that any advice is always worth seeking especially from those who share similar interests. Thank you for your time :-)

Take this for what it's worth since I'm hardly your target audience but it's the sort of profile that would attract my attention were I looking for another slave and if you were female :)

here's what I got from it.

a) you're view of "submission" goes well beyond kinky sex.
b) you aren't lost in a BDSM porn fantasy

That'd be enough to spark my interest. Finding just that is rare enough that it would hardly overwhelm me to follow up with a cmail for each and every one I found.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Turlis)

Post #: 19

RE: Profile, and how a sub come's across to a domme - 3/9/2013 3:24:46 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Readyt0serve

Man all girls are just thr same horny human beings that are trying to do as much superficial things to escape their insecurities. As someone who gets 10+ emails a day, take it from me just be yourself and realise what it is about a girl that makes them special, but also dont forget they are incomplete and try act like they dont need men as much as they can, but in the end of the day they all crave penis.

What a ridiculously narrow view. Please remember that, even though you may be straight, the entire population isn't.

Honey, you're getting ten emails a day because you're on the 'fresh meat' list. That means you got those who are waiting to pounce on anyone and everyone contacting you. If you were female, you'd have ten times that. (I've been here six years and I've had the same number in the last 24 hours. I'll have more by the end of the day.)

Here's a good challenge to see if those whole ten emails a day mean anything:

1. In a month, tell us how many of the senders of those emails that you have actually met.

2. In two months, when you come off the fresh meat/new user list, come back and tell us how many you are getting then.

3. Discount any emails that request tribute or want you to check out another site.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Readyt0serve)

Post #: 20

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