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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 8:07:15 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kree
There is another part of this that fascinates me. Many years ago, I owned a chat room on IRC. It was a BDSM discussion chat room. We had an idiot come in and post a trolling line like: "male dominant with a 15" cock". I sent him a PM telling him that a) we didnt troll in the room and b) no one cared that he claimed to have a 15" cyber dick. His reply: "can't talk now, 5 women PMed me and I am too busy to chat with YOU."

Hello A/all,

As a former web master for a (non-porn or bdsm) web site, I had a lot of opportunity to hang out with colleagues who did such things.

What was amusing was to watch professional emails from men go out with the same IP address on the same domain as the "woman" flirting in BDSM chat rooms.

One of the reasons I am generally uninterested in invitations from people, especially cyber-sex invitations. The person who claims to be a horny 28yo female stripper that I am telling a story to so they can masturbate may actually be a 45yo male.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Kree)

Post #: 21

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 9:35:26 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

Iv been on collarme for almost 2 years now and only last month did it ever even accure to me to look at the forums yet I talked with many Doms even met a few so posting has nothing to do with the personals here really

_____________________________

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 22

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 10:29:16 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think we all get this. From their perspective, you chum the waters and then see what surfaces. If they throw out enough lines they might get a bite, or better yet, catch a submissive. They will bother reading your profile once you respond. I do not like it, but I do not feel compelled to respond since I am not seeking currently. I got an email just today that claimed I was just what he was seeking, Unless he is seeking someone that is involved with someone else, and lives on another continent, I do not think so... but he had the right to try...lol

The thing is, it really is a very tiny annoyance, one which you could do away with by hiding your profile. You could still post here, just no one could contact you.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 23

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 10:36:08 PM

MasterOKN

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

KickinAss,

I would say it depends on the contents of the letter and why they want to meet. The assumption of this site is "personnals for BDSM interaction" on a variety of levels. A Dom writes a submissive (male or female, depending on the interest) to talk more and maybe meet. I always ask to meet after a couple of mails if there is a connnection. The first time, I do so merely to talk face to face with the person and see if we have a connection. If we don't, that's fine. I would continue to exchange mail, ideas, or whatever. If we do connect, I would suggest another time to meet. That way there is no pressure on the first meeting and one is free to be ones self and relax.

The real difficulty, that a couple people touched on here is and the "percentage of reply factor"....lol. The reality is most people don't reply to mail sent to them even if the letter is very personal and it's clear the person has read one's profile throughly. I read most profile reasonably carefully before writing. One, because if they are not interested in common ideas or activities, there is no point in writing if one is seeking to meet for activities or scenes. Two, becuase I want to make sure I'm not writing to someone that is already involved, or seeking only women, or whatever other reason that indicates they would not be interested. Three, becuase I want to have something relavant to say regarding their profile and way I am interested in exchanging mail and meeting sometime.

I've gotten mail where the male submissive has offered to meet me now, dance in his bra and panties, and suck me off now....lol. "Okay, well....ah....can we meet first?" No, the fact is I wouldn't be interested give that kind of request. It's clear they didn't read my profile, didn't lookover my interests, nor where they a little tactful in their initial contact. That might be fun if I had talked to them a few times before that kind of mail. LOL

So, I suppose it depends on the method of the request, the contents of the initial mail, and the intent of the meeting. If it was just to talk in a public place over coffee or something. Hey, why not. You might meet someone you enjoy talking to if nothing else....OKN

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 24

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 12:29:48 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?
Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?
I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.

Thanks, KickinAss

Be thankful they do because now you know they don't meet your criteria.

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 25

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 1:53:00 AM

Kedikat

Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

In a way, it isn't odd at all.
Consider that that very same Dom may never contact you through Collarme, but could run into in real life by total accident, and you two may click and go for coffee.

It seems wierder to me, that to meet somewhere right off is so wierd a concept here. I meet total strangers all the time as I live my life. I like some of them in various ways.

Of course the basic meeting criteria from here already invlolves a certain deep level of forknowledge. But isn't that an even better thing than an accidental meeting in " real life " with someone you are attracted to, but who knows nothing of your " dark side ".

It's an odd quirk of this thing.

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 26

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 6:35:36 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it weird? Why do people post their profiles here on CM if they don't want to be contacted? If someone sees your profile and it doesn't say not to contact you, and they are polite about it, why the hell not? Maybe they think you're in interesting person. Maybe it's only for friendship anyway. It's not something to necessarily be weirded out about.

-liv2

Well, I think it's weird that they haven't read the profile that says I'm under consideration by Fastlane and I'm not interested in anyone else.
Yet, the e-mails are..."you wanna play?" Pictures of subs tied up saying "this could be you." gimme a break. If you want to be friends, yes...let's be, but if your asking to play..."sorry, read the profile."
I'm not interested...take that hard on to the wood pile and whack it til it bleeds, if that's your needs.
Tee hee hee.

kickinchick,

Well, to be quite honest, I didn't read your profile before I posted my response; but then I was only responding to what you wrote here in the Forum.

After reading about your bad experiences, I can certainly understand why you would not want to be approached, and in such a callous manner. Who would? And speaking of manners and simple common sense, if someone doesn't read your profile thoroughly before E-mailing you, then they are probably not worth knowing anyway.

I've never been shy about approaching someone after reading their profile, providing that there is an opening for at least a friendship. I believe that if one writes a very polite greeting, what rational person is going to be offended by it? But again, one should always read a profile carefully before writing, and then apply the rules of etiquette and good taste accordingly.

Take care.

-iliv2

< Message edited by iliv2servher -- 6/22/2006 6:37:45 AM >

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 27

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 7:01:35 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

Its just a part of being on this or any other site with personals. My own personal irritations are those from several states away who mail and tell you they will be passing through and would like to hook up. Um.....yeah...ok....not. I wonder if anyone ever takes them up on those offers?

Another source of irritation is doms who seem to think subs belong to some kind of travelling rent a sub thing. "I'm here come to me baby" with this as part of the first mail.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 28

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 7:10:49 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

One of the reasons I am generally uninterested in invitations from people, especially cyber-sex invitations. The person who claims to be a horny 28yo female stripper that I am telling a story to so they can masturbate may actually be a 45yo male.

Oh, so now you got an age discrimination thang goin' on........

LOL.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 29

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 7:16:08 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher

Why do people post their profiles here on CM if they don't want to be contacted?

Well, let's see, I have a profile here that says "I'm only here for the forums."

To me that's pretty clear. Apparently to some, that means I'm a "horny wet c**t, that needs to be bitch slapped".

Bottom line, men in the scene out number the women 3 to 1. I would suspect that on CM that number is even higher.

Many of the men on this site (I've also found this in other mediums) think that whatever is listed in someone's profile doesn't apply to them.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to iliv2servher)

Post #: 30

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/22/2006 11:44:38 PM

MasterOKN

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

I couldn't agree more. The original post did not mention you were "under consideration". That changes the situation. And, in a way makes the original post moot. Nothing more to say about the issue. It's dead....lol

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 31

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 12:03:26 AM

MasterOKN

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

Here is a prefect example of why the "some" don't get heard over the "many". Now, if I remember right from my undergrade years in college, there is a serious flaw in logic going on here. Hum. I think it's called a fallacy in the end, reasoning from the "some" to the "many". Now, if you were to say it's "probable" that some men are the same on this site as in other situations, that's understandable. However, to reason that "some" (idiots that they may be....lol) are the "many" men that disregrad what one writes is not necessarily or probably true. But, hey, as some people imply from what they write, "don't confuse me with the facts"....lol

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 3:01:00 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

Hi Kickin

Happens to me too. i have in big red letters that i am under consideration and do not wish to be contacted by other Doms/Masters for now, and yet some still contact me.

Seems the poor souls are either illiterate and wouldn't be able to read my response anyway , or for some reason they think they don't apply to my request... go figure!

i just ignore them now...

tali

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to MasterOKN)

Post #: 33

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 4:39:01 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?
Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?
I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.

Thanks, KickinAss

They obviously have not read the wildly popular " Domming for Dummies"--had they done so, they would know how transparent an act that is----keep smiling and stay smart---good luck in your journey.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 34

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 6:53:15 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher

Why do people post their profiles here on CM if they don't want to be contacted?

Well, let's see, I have a profile here that says "I'm only here for the forums."

quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2

And speaking of manners and simple common sense, if someone doesn't read your profile thoroughly before E-mailing you, then they are probably not worth knowing anyway.

But again, one should always read a profile carefully before writing, and then apply the rules of etiquette and good taste accordingly.

OsideGirl,

I don't quite understand the logic, or lack thereof, that would make someone want to E-mail you when your profile specifically states or indicates that you are just here for the Forums and do not wish to be contacted. Why would anyone want to waste their time or yours?

Again, if they were to read your profile carefully, and if they respected your wishes, then I suppose we wouldn't be discussing this topic.

-iliv2

< Message edited by iliv2servher -- 6/23/2006 7:04:01 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 35

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 7:55:03 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick
Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.Thanks, KickinAss

Umm... I contact people and ask them to meet for coffee, because I want to meet them for coffee.
I contact people and ask them to play, because I want to play with them.
I suppose if I wanted to have sex, or take someone to the ballet, or give someone a piggy back ride, I would contact them and ask them to do those things.

Simple answer... people request things because they want the things they're requesting.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 36

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 9:10:28 AM

Entrancer

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

I think that if your profile indicates you aren’t interested in what they are suggesting, then the proper response would be to simply block them from any further contact.

However, if it doesn’t, then it becomes a little more complicated. If someone is “actively looking” then, presumably, meeting in person is a necessary step. In my experience, you can waste a lot of time exchanging emails, and then when you finally meet…nothing. Besides which, I can get a much more accurate “sense” of someone in one hour face-to-face than I can spending 20 hours exchanging emails. It’s far too easy to “hide” behind a computer screen, and while the phone is better, you still lose 80% of what is being communicated vis-a-vis a face-to-face meeting. So…I generally prefer to “cut to the chase” sooner rather than later.

But…especially for a male Dom approaching a female sub…to suggest meeting in the first email very strongly implies (in my mind) a combination of arrogance, cluelessness and self-centeredness. There are certain levels of social “proprieties” that are fairly universal, and it seems to me that suggesting (or even worse, demanding or commanding!) a meeting in the first email is outside the pale, and should be a huge red flag. There have been a lot of suggestions as to why someone might do that already...take your pick.
The other side of the coin are the ones who don't want to meet. While I would prefer to “cut to the chase” sooner rather than later, I recognize and accept that social conventions do play an important role. So I will exchange a reasonable number of emails (say…somewhere between 5-20, depending upon a lot of variables) before making that suggestion. If I get resistance at that point, then it becomes a red flag to me (since I’m only interested in local women, this should not be an issue like it would be if someone would have to buy a plane ticket and reserve a hotel room). From my perspective, if at that point they have cold feet, then this suggests that either a) something is rotten in the state of Denmark (as to actually being who/what they represent) or b) fear plays more of a role in shaping their lives than I’m really interested in dealing with. I don’t see a lot of safety-related issues with an anonymous meeting at a local Starbucks, and what safety issues there might be can be relatively easily and expeditiously dealt with. Of course, with a potential “long-distance” relationship, things are more complex, but this post is long enough so I won’t go there.

_____________________________

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-Buckaroo Banzai

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)

Post #: 37

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 9:29:29 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I agree. Face to face is the only way to get to know someone. If someone is putting off a meeting when the expediency of safety issues have been taken care of then there is something amiss and its better to move on. I had a long distance relationship once and I said as soon as she gives the word I'll be on the first available plane but there was always some reason that in hindsight were unnecessary. I should have seen the red flags going up. If someone constantly as issues about meeting, they aren't really interested but just playing games or something.

I don't contact people online for a relationship but if people don't want to meet anyone why don't they just turn their profile off? I just can't get over all the complaints about people contacting people. I thought that was one of the functions of this site. I can't see anything wrong with making a polite approach to someone, they can always politely decline.

(in reply to Entrancer)

Post #: 38

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 10:28:29 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?
Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?
I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.

Thanks, KickinAss

There are a lot of people who dont use the message boards and stay on the personals side of CM.

Posting just itsnt a big deal to some.

I dont post often I get busy,even though I dont post often,I read a lot of them for
the excellent information they can provide.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to kickinchick)

Post #: 39

RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/23/2006 1:34:02 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher

OsideGirl,

I don't quite understand the logic, or lack thereof, that would make someone want to E-mail you when your profile specifically states or indicates that you are just here for the Forums and do not wish to be contacted. Why would anyone want to waste their time or yours?

Again, if they were to read your profile carefully, and if they respected your wishes, then I suppose we wouldn't be discussing this topic.

-iliv2

For the same reason that Doms email Dominas and either beg to serve quietly for the right woman or attack Dominas for their manner of the life (sigh--today I am a whoring slutty swine--tsk tsk)--

they are thick headed idiots who don't give a damn.

IMHEO

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to iliv2servher)

Post #: 40

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