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Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 10:41:43 AM   
Kimberly46203


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/4/2013
Status: offline 		Just a general question, and maybe were off base, but do people still live normal lives and dive into their fantasy world to escape?
It's seems like most users here in my area of indinapolis are full time slaves or confused about what they want.

Any advice welcome,
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 10:49:34 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		A lot of it depends on your definition.

Yes it is possible and pretty common to only do kinky stuff and power exchange as part of sex or as a once-in-a-while role play.

At the same time, a lot of people consider themselves to be full-time slaves because the Master or Mistress is always in charge and always has the final say. It doesn't mean they spend all their time locked in the basement wearing leather nipple tassles and a butt plug. Just like the rest of society, most of their time is taken up with paying bills, cleaning the house, visiting family, buying groceries, commuting to work and all the other normal things you need to do to survive. But if they are always following the rules of the dominant partner and always at their service, they can still be a slave whilst they are serving you at the bank or visiting granny at the nursing home.

I'd venture that very few people live porn-style fantasy slave lifestyles all of the time. Think of the expense and difficulty it would place on the dominant, since that person would be unable to support themselves.

So yes, it is possible.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Kimberly46203)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 10:56:40 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Replying again because I just read your profile and that has given me more context.

Unfortunately what you are looking for (a female play partner for regular kinky threesomes) is fairly rare, and there are a lot of couples looking for it. That means you are going to have some difficulty and it might take a long time. Most women don't want to join an established couple, and many women don't want to just be a play partner, they want all of the benefits of the relationship.

A lot of those who are open to what you seek run into problems like couples treating them as a sex toy with no regard to their needs, or couples who think this is a good idea but turn out not to be able to cope with the issues bringing someone else in can cause. You guys are probably not like that, but it means the few people out there who would fit you might be extremely cautious.

Added to that you will probably get a lot of people contacting you with no intention of meeting just in the hope of watching you on cam or jerking off to descriptions of what you would do. That's just a hazard of the internet and is at its worst for the first month or so when you join the site because you are seen as 'fresh meat'. Since you are looking for a sex based arrangement these people will think you are a good option for getting their wank material.

Hope this explains some of the things you have been coming across.

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Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 11:30:21 AM   
Kimberly46203


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/4/2013
Status: offline 		Yes explains alot, and we have a profile to fix, not only to set us apart, to find a long term match, but a woman I can have a friendship with, the sex life is a bonus

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 11:35:42 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Good luck, it might be worth looking through the poly board to see if there is any useful information.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Kimberly46203)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 11:36:47 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you are a couple looking to add a third, there could be a very long wait. In the meantime, you may find reading this http://www.collarchat.com/m_4337278/tm.htm extremely helpful.


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(in reply to Kimberly46203)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 11:38:21 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
It doesn't mean they spend all their time locked in the basement wearing leather nipple tassles


Pffft. You're clearly not a REAL slave. I ALWAYS wear my leather nipple tassles.....


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 11:48:42 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
It doesn't mean they spend all their time locked in the basement wearing leather nipple tassles


Pffft. You're clearly not a REAL slave. I ALWAYS wear my leather nipple tassles.....



Yeh and we don't even HAVE a basement. Don't tell anyone though, I'm trying to build a reputation as an uber-slave.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 12:23:04 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		My butt plug has leather tassels.

Can I still be a slave?

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There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 12:23:45 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

My butt plug has leather tassels.

Can I still be a slave?

I always figured you for a powder puff butt plug.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 12:36:18 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm in the mood to choke a chicken.

So to speak

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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 7:19:45 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		My sex life isn't a fantasy. We had sex this morning, then I went along and read my kindle while he met with friends to practice bowling. Following that we went to Lowes to buy materials for the job starting tomorrow. We also went to the grocery store and had dinner. We did this in the order he wanted because he's in charge. I offer suggestions but the final decision is his.

I'm still waiting for the night time fantasy because right now I'm doing laundry.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/5/2013 8:53:37 PM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		There are people who do this simply in the bedroom as erotic play, not everyone is into this 'seriously' in a D/s, M/s, etc. What you are seeking is a kinky playmate, I assume you aren't looking for a poly relationship, and that can be more difficult. You might have problems trying to find that in the scene community (your description sounds like that is where you are looking, if slaves are what pops up), given that most people have established play partners, circles of friends or otherwise are engaged. My experience is when a couple expands to others, they tend to go looking for someone as a true third, rather then a kinky play partner. It is going to take some work IMO, because finding someone simply looking to play with a couple without any relationship ties and such may be hard, most people who might answer are people usually looking for something more set, which you may not be looking for.

(in reply to Kimberly46203)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/6/2013 8:14:11 AM   
WithBellsOn


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/1/2013
Status: offline 		'Unicorns' do exist... I never thought of myself as one, but having met a particularly awesome couple this weekend, I might have to claim the title.

That said, you might want to write more about yourselves in your profile. What makes you two special? What do you have to offer? Unicorns are rare, and couples seeking them are less so... so you're going to want to try to stand out from the crowd.

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/6/2013 1:34:15 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I condiser mesel a full time submissive to my Dom.  I do';t stay caged in the house while he goes to work.  I do my job huntng and any errands he has set for me... Mundane things like gping to the druf storet, dry cleaner, gas station.  It is always wha he wants.  Even my clothes we picked out tohgether so i know whatever i wear will please him.  I do thnigs on my own, but always with him in mind.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to WithBellsOn)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/6/2013 4:53:01 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

My butt plug has leather tassels.

Can I still be a slave?

I always figured you for a powder puff butt plug.

I've seen it, its actually one of those fairy wands that lights up, has silver tensil & a blinky star on top. To his credit it is a masculine black plug its anchored by.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 3/6/2013 4:56:04 PM >

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(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/6/2013 5:37:50 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn

'Unicorns' do exist...


Of course, there are two right beside Me now....(being nosey, wondering what I'm typing)

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 3/6/2013 5:38:05 PM >

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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/6/2013 10:02:54 PM   
PrincessDonna11


Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline 		I balance my Domme life with all else..my personality isnt something I want to hide during the day or out in public

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/7/2013 5:56:52 AM   
DV1970


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/14/2013
Status: offline 		Whether you're a Dom, Sub, Master, slave, or whatever you classify yourself as, having a normal life and bdsm more in the bedroom is certainly possible. Everyone does this differently. There is no right or wrong way to do it. You just do it the way that best fits and works for you. The key is finding a partner that matches well with your way of thinking and likes the same things you do, not unlike any vanilla relationship. You just have the added part of matching in bdsm as well. For a good and lasting relationship, I think it's crucial to find a person that you match up well with and are on the same page with your goals for the relationship. Otherwise...it likely will never last.

DV

< Message edited by DV1970 -- 3/7/2013 5:57:12 AM >

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RE: Normal life, night time kink? - 3/7/2013 6:46:23 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		You also might try looking around fet and meeting people local to you. Fet has more designations that people can choose for themselves. I think you also get a bit more of a mix of people with different goals.

But being a "full time" whatever doesn't have to conflict with having a normal life at all. Of course, each person has a different level of involvement with whatever it is they're into.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to DV1970)
Profile   Post #: 20
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