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Zonie63 -> RE: Have times changed for the better for BDSM? (3/8/2013 5:44:17 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Charles6682
I was thinking to myself how fortunate I am to be living in 2013 and not 1813.I can't even imagine what a "sub" would have to go through back then.Now,in modern time,alot has changed since then.With the invention of the internet,like minded people can literally talk to each other from around the world in a matter of seconds.Thats amazing.Plus,society(here in the USA)has slowly started to accept BDSM as a way of life.
While I do believe there is alot of room for improvement,I am certainly glad I am living in modern times.
I suppose there's something to be said for both eras, although I'm glad to be living in modern times, too.
One doesn't even have to go back to 1813 to see some massive changes to our society - social, political, cultural, and technological. Even within my own short 49 years of life, I've seen quite a few changes. Having spent my formative years during the so-called "Sexual Revolution," I may have been exposed and initiated to certain concepts and images a bit too early in life - things that I probably wouldn't have been exposed to in 1813 (or even 1913 for that matter). I don't recall if it was called "femdom" back in those days, although the basic concept of gender "role reversal" might have found some level of acceptance in society. Although it was probably viewed more as some kind of novelty, causing snickers and titters from the peanut gallery.
Back in the 1970s, when male role models like Alan Alda and Phil Donahue were on the scene, there might have been a small window in which the so-called "sensitive male who isn't afraid to cry" was more accepted, although by the 1980s, it was Reagan and Rambo and a kind of backlash against all that. (Anyone remember "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche"?) As a young man starting to realize his own submissive tendencies, I have to admit that it was a rather confusing time for me personally. Trying to reconcile the prevailing (yet conflicting) ideals of the time with what I was seeing in real life was a bit daunting. The new was replacing the old, the process of "subverting the dominant paradigm."
Just the same, people are people and tend to fall within familiar patterns - even despite whatever changes may be going on in society. That's what I didn't know at the time, and I mistakenly assumed that the progressive changes in gender relations I had seen in my life had filtered down and were embraced at the level of the masses. It was a huge mistake for me to believe that a sub male would be accepted by the average female of the 1980s, although based on the imagery and prevailing ideas of the time, I honestly thought that. How little I knew.
I suppose things might have changed a little bit since the 1980s, although I'm not quite sure.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
i imagine 1813 would be a difficult time for a submissive man, since societies expectations of what men should be like were far more rigid. "traditional" gender roles don't just box in women, they box in men, too; the ones who don't fit the mold are left to feel like failures.
To be honest, I think men are still boxed in as far as gender roles are concerned. Heck, based on a lot of what I've read here, it seems that sub males can barely find acceptance in the BDSM world, let alone mainstream society. So, I'm not sure how much "progress" has been made in this respect.
I'm not sure how it would have been back in 1813. Back then, there may not have been enough information about the subject that I may not have been able to readily identify as "submissive." It might have been difficult and confusing, but due to censorship and literary standards of the time, I may not have been exposed and initiated to the same ideas that I was from being raised in the 1970s. That may have caused me to be somewhat jaded rather early in life - something that may not have happened if I was raised in the 1770s (even if there may have been a small libertine underground back then).
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